# Help Me Save Christmas **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 18, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395 "2012-12-18T03:33:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/21 "2012-12-18T16:18:38Z")
I read about a woman whose toddler swiped her car keys. She put a different key in the same place she’d left the old one, spied on him, and sure enough he took the new key to the hiding place of the old one! It’s not exactly your situation, but I hope it helps. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/22 "2012-12-18T16:24:55Z")
I have a feeling that he put it in the camper in the yard. Last night he went in there looking for it twice, but it was dark. I can’t go in there- claustrophobia, dark, cramped… can’t. So he will go in there when he gets home from school, before the sun sets, and I will cross my fingers. If it’s not in there, I will see if I can unscrew the hasp. If that doesn’t work, there’s a place nearby that rents tools and I will get a bolt-cutter. I guess I will still have to cut it off even if I can unscrew the hasp, because it still has to be replaced and locked up. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/23 "2012-12-18T18:26:18Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Ew, then I’d have to keep all the presents for compensation. Those better be really, really, really great gifts to compensate for that. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/24 "2012-12-19T00:56:45Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Rent a metal detector to help you find a key. > > Fire departments have nice bolt cutters. Do you know any fireman? SWAT teams have det cord for breaching. Do you know any paramilitary police? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/25 "2012-12-19T01:32:08Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > SWAT teams have det cord for breaching. Do you know any paramilitary police? Third world dictators have apocryphal nuclear weapons. Do you know any third world dictators? (It’s the only way to be sure.) ---
**Author:** ![Corcaigh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Corcaigh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corcaigh)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/26 "2012-12-19T18:07:32Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Ew, then I’d have to keep all the presents for compensation. It’s not that disgusting, you put the poop down somewhere, like on concrete, then empty a bucket of water on it - from as far back as you can stand - and then you can inspect for swallowed objects. You may get some residual splash back, so it’s an idea to wear a full haz-mat suit, or wellington boots, whichever you have to hand. In some small ways I’ve led an adventurous life. Alternatively you could say that Santa is looking for his key, and ask if son knows where it is…? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/27 "2012-12-23T21:23:25Z")
Update- my procrastination has finally paid off. Today I got around to asking my neighbor if he has any bolt cutters (much better than buying or renting some, no?) and he asked me what I needed to cut. I explained the story to him, and he asked me if it was a blue key, and when I said why yes, yes it is a blue key, he said that he saw it in my yard this morning, and walked right over to it and picked it up. It was very fortuitous, as he was only in my yard this morning because our water went out (we share a well), so any other day he wouldn’t have known it was right there. \*\*Whew!! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/28 "2012-12-23T21:26:27Z")
Oh, well, sure, if you’re going to cheat and use a _ **key** _…:dubious: Seriously, glad it all worked out. Nice little Christmas miracle! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/29 "2012-12-23T21:27:01Z")
Wow, how weird - pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/30 "2012-12-23T21:34:43Z")
It’s a Festivus Miracle!!! ---
**Author:** ![Enkel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/df705f/32.png) [@Enkel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enkel)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/31 "2012-12-23T21:48:36Z")
Does this mean you won’t be wrapping the shed with pretty paper and a bow? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/32 "2012-12-23T22:47:15Z")
> [@Enkel](#): > > Does this mean you won’t be wrapping the shed with pretty paper and a bow? I might still do that if I get bored. Either that or go through some poop. ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/33 "2012-12-23T23:27:07Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I might still do that if I get bored. Either that or go through some poop. Either way, we’re still gonna want pictures! ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/34 "2012-12-24T00:59:54Z")
I love this thread. \ ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/35 "2012-12-24T01:10:09Z")
Yay for rescued pressies! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/36 "2012-12-24T01:31:19Z")
Booo on not having to call handsome firefighters to come and save you. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/37 "2012-12-24T02:14:43Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Booo on not having to call handsome firefighters to come and save you. My thoughts exactly. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/38 "2012-12-24T02:30:53Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > My thoughts exactly. I have a cat you can borrow, if you’d like to stick it up a tree. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/39 "2012-12-24T03:03:52Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > > [@Ethilrist](#): > > > > or you could tunnel into the shed! > > Yes, let me get my spoon! Oh wait, I think I’d rather buy the presents again! And that is why I always recommend sheds be built upon a foundation of either pudding or chocolate cake, depending on soil conditions. ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395/40 "2012-12-24T09:14:18Z")
I’m surprised no one considered having the OPer _ask_ his son where the key was. Did I miss it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-save-christmas/644395.md?page=3)