# Help me scare the hell out of everyone at my old high school. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 9, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534 "2001-09-09T17:56:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/1 "2001-09-09T17:56:29Z")
There’s this one day when all the graduated seniors come back, wander the halls and say hi to their teachers. They get all misty-eyed and reminisce about how wonderful their high school experience was. I hated this school. I hated every goat-felching, camel-fellating minute of it. And I’m fixing to blow everyone’s minds when I go back. So far, here are my ideas. None of them are really spectacular: 1. Shave my head. 2. Rent a devil costume and go back to school wearing it. (ultra-conservative Catholic school) 3. Borrow this shirt a girl on my floor has (bright red, has the definition of the word “gay” written on it in big block letters). Which is why I’m turning it to you people. Keep in mind that I don’t want to do anything illegal and am on a limited budget here. Just good subversive pranks and a way to say “You’ll never get my soul, fuckwidgets” to the administration. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/2 "2001-09-09T18:00:47Z")
You’d be amazed at how much it annoys these people when you simply don’t go. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/3 "2001-09-09T18:03:17Z")
It’s an optional event. ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/4 "2001-09-09T18:08:17Z")
Aw, **Legomancer** , but that’s no _FUN_! I take it, **Daowajan** , that you’re a chick…so, well, bring another chick with you. A friend who wouldn’t mind, say, pretending to be outrageously lesbian for a day. That or a small posse of giant men dressed in black, complete with concealed weapons, cell phones and stoic expressions. That might freak 'em out a little bit. You could go naked. Or dress like a bum. Shaving heads is a tad much, and personally I like having hair a little too much to go that route, but that is up to you, of course. You could hire a midget to be your date… ---
**Author:** ![Lucifer12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b38774/32.png) [@Lucifer12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucifer12)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/5 "2001-09-09T18:43:31Z")
Do what I did-go to your high school reunion, dress normally, act normally, tell them you’re heavily into voodoo and black magic. 😉 Read up a little on voodoo first, tho, so you sound like you know what you’re talking about (Baron Samdi and Papa Legba, etc). If you can, maybe find a little loa pin or something you could wear discreetly. Talk about Haitian zombies as if they are real, and say you wish you could get ahold of some zombie cucumber. Be polite and friendly. Don’t go on and on about it unless someone asks you to explain. Don’t dress up like you’re wearing a costume, tho-it makes it easier to dismiss you. Dress and act like your peers and it will be all the more disturbing to them that one of their own could be so twisted. And remember-they’re there to amuse you, not vice-versa. Don’t put on a show-make them become the show. ---
**Author:** ![Nicklz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8baadc/32.png) [@Nicklz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nicklz)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/6 "2001-09-09T19:14:36Z")
Ha Ha Ok, if it were me I’d tell everyone that your an assasin for an antiterrorist unit secretly run by the government. Then have a couple friends burst in with one of those cap guns that sound similar to a real gun shot. And fake a shoot out, where you ultimately are killed, and have the “terrorist” carry away your body (so there’s no evidence. I would suggest this happen in the parking lot or somewhere outside, because it would simply be easier to pull it off. Then when you show up for your next reunion, they’d all be pretty surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/7 "2001-09-09T19:27:12Z")
I just attended a football game at my old high school Friday night. My town is a rural one in the Deep South, and very infected with Varsity Blues Syndrome, and EXTREMELY scornful of anyone who isn’t the All-American prep. I went to the football game in a red and black corset, a black lace skirt, a black overshirt, and black lace-up combat boots. Someone said to me, “Wow, you look like you came out of a vampire movie.” I replied, “Wow, you look like the product of a brother and sister having sexual intercourse. But, hell, it’s Alabama, right?” I got so MANY STARES that night…except for the people who know me pretty well. They thought it was cool. ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/8 "2001-09-09T21:52:29Z")
I could go back as a Hare Krishna. ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/9 "2001-09-09T21:55:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lucifer12 \* > \*\*Do what I did-go to your high school reunion, dress normally, act normally, tell them you’re heavily into voodoo and black magic. 😉 Read up a little on voodoo first, tho, so you sound like you know what you’re talking about (Baron Samdi and Papa Legba, etc). If you can, maybe find a little loa pin or something you could wear discreetly. \*\* That’s a fairly neat idea for a catholic school. You could explain to everyone how it was their emphasis on catholic saints that led to your discovery of voodoo. They match up with the various spirits or loa. A quick google search on the keywords: voodoo catholic saints got back lots of hits, including a reasonable seeming overview here: [http://www.webster.edu/~corbetre/haiti/voodoo/voodoo.htm](http://www.webster.edu/~corbetre/haiti/voodoo/voodoo.htm) * * * You never refuse when she lies back To put the stripe on the Union, the star on the Jack… ---
**Author:** ![pesch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pesch/32/4925_2.png) [@pesch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pesch)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/10 "2001-09-09T21:56:55Z")
And whatever line you lay down, sincerely thank each person there “for making you what you are today.” But you gotta play it straight. Underplay it, if you can. Agent Cooper in “Twin Peaks” or the Wolf in “Pulp Fiction” are your role models. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/11 "2001-09-09T22:00:06Z")
draw a swastica on your forehead, a la manson. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/12 "2001-09-09T22:25:14Z")
Dress up as a popular TV character. Imitate their mannerisms. Insist that it’s your new original personality. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/13 "2001-09-10T02:57:16Z")
One of those blue windbreakes with the big gold letters on the back that say FBI. Or tell them you work for the IRS. That will scare them. ---
**Author:** ![lenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lenin)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/14 "2001-09-10T03:05:12Z")
> [@](#): > > I could go back as a Hare Krishna. Even better, go back as a Rabbi. ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/15 "2001-09-10T12:57:12Z")
If it was a Catholic school, by all means wear a black shirt with a Roman collar. Refuse to say what parish you’re assigned to. Tell everyone you’re a special envoy to the Vatican. Oh, and **Nicklz** , This: “Ha Ha Ok, if it were me I’d tell everyone that your an assasin for an antiterrorist unit secretly run by the government. Then have a couple friends burst in with one of those cap guns that sound similar to a real gun shot. And fake a shoot out, where you ultimately are killed, and have the “terrorist” carry away your body (so there’s no evidence. I would suggest this happen in the parking lot or somewhere outside, because it would simply be easier to pull it off. Then when you show up for your next reunion, they’d all be pretty surprised.” Would be a very , very bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/16 "2001-09-10T13:28:14Z")
Yeah, fake guns and a shootout at a high school would go over **so** well. Wheelchairs can be fun. Just tell people, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to talk about it. How have _you_ been?” Find a costume shop with a fake belly so it looks like you’re WAY pregnant. Hire a professional escort to be your date. Dress all in orange. Get henna tattoos all over your face, combined with very professional-looking clothes. Dress very, very butch and hit on all the women. Tell jokes with the guys and slug them in the arm. Memorize all the trite lines everybody wrote in your yearbook. Parrot them back to the people who wrote them. Gee, Ethilrist, got any old high school issues? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-scare-the-hell-out-of-everyone-at-my-old-high-school/80534/17 "2001-09-10T14:00:42Z")
Oh, man. Okay, first things first: God be with you, because I sure as Hell wouldn’t do this. 1. Be sexually open. It’s not like you’re going to see these people again, right? Flirt with the girls, flirt with the teachers. 2. Dreds. 3. Put beads in the dreds. Maybe make them multi-colored. 4. Some sort of very un-Christian being (Chthulu, maybe?) should play a prominent part in your life now. 5. So should the pro-choice and pro-gay movements (these are not movements I particularly associate with conservative Christians in general; I realize there are many exceptions). 6. Talk very openly about death and rebirth. 7. Give out pamphlets of whatever un-Christian being you now support. May there be a Jack Chick for Chthulu:)