# Help me score with chicks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891 "2008-04-25T19:54:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/1 "2008-04-25T19:54:51Z")
Need some surefire lines that are gonna get me some action with the classy broads that hang out in the seedy bars and dives I frequent. Along the lines of “Baby, I hate to see ya go, but sure love watching ya leave.” or “Your clothes must be made of mirrors cus I can see myself in your pants.” ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/2 "2008-04-25T20:05:52Z")
The most effective line you can possibly use is, “Hi, my name is **MadTheSwine**. How are you tonight?” Then ask her some questions about herself…find out her name, what she does for a living, what she does for fun, etc. As a chick I find I respond much better to that kind of pick up line than I do the other ones, but YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/3 "2008-04-25T20:06:13Z")
The best advice I can give you is that Nature doesn’t care if you enjoy sex. Nature only cares that you think you are going to. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/4 "2008-04-25T20:09:35Z")
“How you doin’?” Of course if you just want her attention I’d go with the classic “So there I was balls deep in Santa Claus” or “Nice shoes, wanna fuck?” - only works on the extra classy ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/5 "2008-04-25T20:12:46Z")
**pbbth** , You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role-playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I’d really like to make love to you. ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/6 "2008-04-25T20:13:15Z")
I was more looking for really bad pick-up lines. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/7 "2008-04-25T20:14:41Z")
“Wanna go halvsies on a baby?” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/8 "2008-04-25T20:16:53Z")
Are you tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all night. Excuse me, I lost my number. Can I have yours? Nice pants, they’ll look good on my floor later. Hi, my name is MadtheSwine. Make sure you remember that because you’ll be screaming it later. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/9 "2008-04-25T20:17:25Z")
Oh, if you want really bad pick up lines I can tell you that the worst I have heard have been, “Just so you know, I enjoy eating pussy” and, courtesy of some guy I walked by in Harlem a few weeks ago, if you grab a woman by the arm and scream, “Nice tits!” that will give you the added bonus of looking confused and indignant when she pulls free and runs away. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/10 "2008-04-25T20:20:22Z")
Look, just find the shortest woman in the bar, post her up, and you’ll score all night. No way a 5’0" lady in high heels is going to stop you when you drop-step and power move to the basket. What? Not that type of score? Errrrr…never mind. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/11 "2008-04-25T20:26:22Z")
[QUOTE=MadTheSwine] I was more looking for really bad pick-up lines. [/QUOTE] ok, how bad we talking? “Buy me a drink and I’m yours” “You look like trouble, and trouble is what I want to be in.” “NIIIIIIIIICE” “I’d hit that” “You know I’m really a skinny guy, I just have my dick wrapped around my waist a few times.” For a more educated nerdy crowd “Wanna see what happens when our packets collide” “I would love to be your perpendicular bisector” “Hey baby, wanna demonstration of my burst transfer rate” ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/12 "2008-04-25T20:32:01Z")
Hold up two fingers and ask, “Do you know why these two fingers are the best to masturbate with?” “Because they’re mine.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/13 "2008-04-25T20:44:28Z")
“Hey baby, are those space pants you’re wearing? Because your ass is out of this world.” Or my all-time favourite: “I burned my tongue. Can you kiss it better?” ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/14 "2008-04-25T21:42:07Z")
[QUOTE=Inigo Montoya] **pbbth** , You know, I could lay a big line on you and we could do a lot of role-playing, but the simple truth is, is that I find you very interesting and I’d really like to make love to you. [/QUOTE] :: throws drink in **Inigo’s** face :: ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/15 "2008-04-25T21:44:40Z")
Yes, I suppose the horror would be if the line were recognized. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/16 "2008-04-25T21:49:05Z")
“Want to go get high?” That one’s my silver bullet. Of course, you have to make a little small talk first. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/17 "2008-04-25T21:50:19Z")
“Did you hurt yourself when you fell down from heaven?” “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.” “If you were a McDonald’s sandwich, you’de be called McGorgeous.” ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/18 "2008-04-25T21:53:44Z")
“You know for a fat chick you sure don’t sweat that much.” ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/19 "2008-04-25T21:57:27Z")
[QUOTE=Napier] The best advice I can give you is that Nature doesn’t care if you enjoy sex. Nature only cares that you think you are going to. [/QUOTE] See, now I read that as: **Napier** doesn’t care if you enjoy sex. **Napier** only cares that you think you are going to. which then becomes the best pick up line in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891/20 "2008-04-25T22:00:17Z")
Oh, I just realized this thread was supposed to be a joke. In that case, there’s the all time classic: “Suck me, beautiful.” In case you actually want to pick up a girl easily for real, asking her if she wants to go get high is one of the most simple, direct and effective lines you can use. Not that I would ever advise you to actually get high. No sir, not me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-score-with-chicks/446891.md?page=2)