# Help me stock the ultimate (fictional) library **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** books-writing-myths\ **Created:** [October 16, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444 "2013-10-16T23:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2024, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/181 "2024-04-29T16:27:22Z")
I want to thank everyone for some great ideas for fake book covers. I love taking small (4x6") skinny paperbacks on vacation, because I can slip them in a pants pocket. Since most of those that size are vintage, and short stories work well when you’re on the road and don’t know when you’ll next get to pick up the thread of a long story, I usually end up with an old compendium of suspense/horror/sf short stories. Now, Alfred Hitchcock collected great authors into tiny books, but they have titles like “Tales My Mother Never Told Me” with a awkward Young Alfred dressed like a Victorian baby boy on the cover. I’d be embarrassed to be seen reading that. So I’ve been Photoshopping new covers. Some with complex collages on the cover and plenty of reviews and quotes on the back. If you see me next week at a sidewalk café in Dubrovnik, I’ll be perusing _’How I Scaled the North Face of the Megapurna With a Perfectly Healthy Finger But Everything Else Sprained, Broken, or Bitten Off by a Pack of Mad Yaks’_. (from the Hitchhiker’s Guide…) …and _Rarnaby Budge_ by Charles Dikkens. (the well-known Dutch author with two _k_’s). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2024, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/182 "2024-06-06T17:25:29Z")
In Stephen Tall’s “The Bear with the Knot in His Tail,” a pretty good sf first contact tale I found in _The Best from Fantasy and Science Fiction, 20th Series_ ed. by Edward L. Ferman (Doubleday & Co. 1973), are references to two books: Dr. Roscoe Kissinger, _A Different Evolutionary System_, a scientific tome about the very different lifeforms of Cyrene IV, and Dr. Johannes “Johnny” Rasmussen, _The Log of the Stardust_ (ISC Annals, Vol. 72, A.D. 2119), an account of the voyages of an Earth starship. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2024, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/183 "2024-06-06T17:39:17Z")
Is that the same as [The Iron Dream](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Iron_Dream)? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2024, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/184 "2024-06-06T20:24:51Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Is that the [The Iron Dream](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Iron_Dream)? Yep. > Other Science-Fiction Novels by Adolf Hitler > > EMPEROR OF THE ASTEROIDS > THE BUILDERS OF MARS > FIGHT FOR THE STARS > THE TWILIGHT OF TERRA > SAVIOR FROM SPACE > THE MASTER -RACE > THE THOUSAND YEAR RULE > THE TRIUMPH OF THE WILL > TOMORROW THE WORLD ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2024, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/185 "2024-08-01T18:49:03Z")
In _Rorschach_ by Tom King, Jorge Fornes and Dave Stewart, a graphic novel sequel to _Watchmen_, the actual cartoonist and graphic novelist Frank Miller appears, and mentions his pirate-themed comics _Dark Fife_ and _The Dark Fife Returns_. In the _Watchmen_ 'verse, pirate comics are very popular, since actual superheroes and supervillains exist, so Miller apparently never created _The Dark Knight Returns_. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2024, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/186 "2024-08-01T19:37:38Z")
_A Compendium of the Minor Heresies of the Twelfth Century in Asia Minor_ Ever since I found a copy I just can’t put it down. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2024, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/187 "2024-08-01T21:41:49Z")
By whom, please, and appearing in what fictional work? ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2024, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/188 "2024-08-02T14:50:08Z")
_The Unstrung Harp_ by Edward Gorey. The protagonist Mr. Earbrass “has been meaning to finish it ever since he began it two years and seven months before, at which time he bogged down on page 33.” ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2024, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/189 "2024-08-02T15:10:50Z")
We should include the _complete_ book/lyrics of _Springtime for Hitler._ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2024, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/190 "2024-08-02T17:31:40Z")
Why not? And thanks, **BD**. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2024, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/191 "2024-09-13T15:29:12Z")
I recently learned that there are two - well, call it one and a half - examples in Fitzgerald’s classic _The Great Gatsby_. The novel’s short poetic epigraph is attributed to Thomas Parke D’Invilliers, who is himself a minor character in _This Side of Paradise_, Fitzgerald’s earlier novel. Later, Tom Buchanan praises _The Rise of the Colored Empires_ by Goddard, a book warning about how white civilization was under threat worldwide. Fitzgerald was making a veiled reference to Lothrop Stoddard’s actual, similar racist book _The Rising Tide of Color_. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/192 "2024-10-15T02:31:02Z")
In Tea Obreht’s near-future coming-of-age sf novel _The Morningside_, there’s a passing reference to a poetry collection, _Moonlight_, by the relatively famous poet Benjamin Bowen. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/193 "2024-10-15T02:38:53Z")
Please forgive me, this is a fictional **film** , not a book. But in a book by Lee Killough the two main characters, police officers, are investigating a murder and they visit a guy for some information. This character collects old movies and revamps them to play on modern tech. (The book is set around the 2080’s) One “old” movie mentioned is _Dying Thunder_ and it’s supposed to be about the last Le Mans race run on wheels. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/194 "2024-10-15T02:45:59Z")
How about that book Sybly Whyte wrote while on Radelix. We don’t know the title, but it features @Qadgop_the_Mercotan … ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/195 "2024-10-15T14:08:36Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > We don’t know the title The book’s title was **Qadgop the Mercotan**. The Arisians redacted it extensively, due to their concern about the Eddorians using the information contained therein to deduce that I was also a second-stage Lensman. Only one brief paragraph remains extant: “Qadgop the Mercotan slithered flatly around the after-bulge of the tranship. One claw dug into the meters-thick armor of pure neutronium, then another. Its terrible xmex-like snout locked on. Its zymolosely polydactile tongue crunched out, crashed down, rasped across. _Slurp! Slurp!_ At each abrasive stroke the groove in the tranship’s plating deepened and Qadgop leered more fiercely. Fools! Did they think that the airlessness of absolute space, the heatlessness of absolute zero, the yieldlessness of absolute neutronium, could stop QADGOP THE MERCOTAN? And the stowaway, that human wench Cynthia, cowering in helpless terror just beyond this thin and fragile wall…” More had been written about me and Cynthia and our kids, but we’re keeping all that to ourselves. Also, I’m no longer a Lensman because I ended up eating my lens one unfortunate night, after running out of neutronium and cheese. Good did come out of that, as it got me to join Neutronium Anonymous (NA). ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/196 "2024-10-15T18:27:26Z")
What cheese? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/197 "2024-10-15T19:24:59Z")
A 30 year old cheddar. And some nice 6 year old swiss. Both are awesome with neutronium. But whenever I start eating neutronium, I never know what I’ll do or when I will stop. Hence the NA. Fortunately I am not powerless over fine aged cheeses. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/198 "2024-10-15T22:11:01Z")
Mentor must not have been any help. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2024, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/199 "2024-10-15T22:28:22Z")
Mentor’s more of a ‘billiard ball universe’ kind of group entity, doesn’t seem to get the whole quantum/chaos theory stuff. Brolenteen is more flexible when detached from their hive mind. But I still couldn’t get a replacement lens. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2024, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/200 "2024-10-16T17:11:22Z")
All I can say is, thanks for sharing, **QtM**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444.md?page=11)