# Help me stock the ultimate (fictional) library **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** books-writing-myths\ **Created:** [October 16, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444 "2013-10-16T23:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/41 "2013-10-19T02:52:01Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Paul Sheldon’s _Misery Chastain_ series and _Fast Cars_ Nice! The lead character in Stephen King’s _'Salem’s Lot_ was also a novelist who had a book or two to his name, but I forget their title(s), and don’t have King’s book on hand. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/42 "2013-10-19T03:54:09Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > But surely it contains perfectly common words people speak every day; what makes a word spoken “from” the book? Actually, it contains words written in an “alien script” by the creator-god of the setting. There’s nothing ordinary about it. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/43 "2013-10-19T15:36:52Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > But surely it contains perfectly common words people speak every day; what makes a word spoken “from” the book? > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Actually, it contains words written in an “alien script” by the creator-god of the setting. There’s nothing ordinary about it. And don’t call me Shirley. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/44 "2013-10-19T16:13:52Z")
What was the name of the genealogy/history book Ned Stark finds out Jon Arryn had been looking through in _Game of Thrones_, if it had a name? Google isn’t helping. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/45 "2013-10-19T19:18:48Z")
The complete works of pulp-era science fiction writer and illustrator Adolph Hitler. His novels are out of print and his short stories have never been collected. Only “Lord of the Swastika” is available and only because it’s appended in its entirety to a review by Homer Whipple (pen name of Norman Spinrad). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/46 "2013-10-19T20:09:46Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > What was the name of the genealogy/history book Ned Stark finds out Jon Arryn had been looking through in _Game of Thrones_, if it had a name? Google isn’t helping. Behold!: [The Lineages and Histories of the Great Houses of the Seven Kingdoms | Wiki of Westeros | Fandom](http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/The_Lineages_and_Histories_of_the_Great_Houses_of_the_Seven_Kingdoms) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/47 "2013-10-19T20:21:45Z")
> [@Largo62](#): > > The only reference I could find on Google re. your statement is that Oolon Colluphid was a character based on Richard Dawkins by his friend Douglas Adams. You might be right, but I’d appreciate a source. Douglas Adams, Richard Dawkins, pravnik, and myself would understand the reference. But, unfortunately, it would probably remain opaque to you. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/48 "2013-10-19T20:55:41Z")
> [@D.E.S.K.Top668](#): > > I’m sorry, but this is either a whoosh or way too intellectual for me. Could you please expound on your choices? > As for additional books, I think I should include a copy of [Fireside girls Handbook](http://phineasandferb.wikia.com/wiki/Fireside_Girls). > I’m not sure if [The Death Note](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_Note) counts a book for this purpose. > > Peace - DESK Are you serious? Too intellectual? Each of these novels was a best seller, authored by some of the best writers in the world. The list was supposed to be to stock a fiction library. What is your idea of fiction anyway? Action comics? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/49 "2013-10-19T20:58:44Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Douglas Adams, Richard Dawkins, pravnik, and myself would understand the reference. But, unfortunately, it would probably remain opaque to you. The point was that you claimed Richard Dawkins was the author. I guess you can’t actually find a source any more than I could, so you resort to insult. Have it your own way. ---
**Author:** ![Banksiaman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/banksiaman/32/3334_2.png) [@Banksiaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banksiaman)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/50 "2013-10-19T21:23:49Z")
“How to Cook for Forty Humans” - Simpsons Treehouse of Horror. Largo62 - you might want to re-read the original post - not a fiction library, but a fictional one, ie made up of books that don’t exist except in works of fiction. Otherwise, great choices. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/51 "2013-10-19T21:31:10Z")
> [@Banksiaman](#): > > “How to Cook for Forty Humans” - Simpsons Treehouse of Horror. > > Largo62 - you might want to re-read the original post - not a fiction library, but a fictional one, ie made up of books that don’t exist except in works of fiction. Otherwise, great choices. Oh. Now I’m embarrassed. :o For a fictional book IN a fictional book, how about Emmanuel Goldstein’s treatise on geopolitical realities in Orwell’s “1984”? ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/52 "2013-10-19T21:36:01Z")
_To Serve Man_ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/53 "2013-10-19T21:37:48Z")
> [@Largo62](#): > > The point was that you claimed Richard Dawkins was the author. I guess you can’t actually find a source any more than I could, so you resort to insult. Have it your own way. It was a thing we call a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/54 "2013-10-19T21:49:56Z")
All of Richard Castle’s “out-of-print” novels: At Dusk We Die Bullets and Bracelets A Calm Before The Storm Dead Man’s Chest Deadly Storm Death of a Prom Queen Driving Storm Flowers For Your Grave Gathering Storm Hell Hath No Fury In a Hail of Bullets Kissed and Killed One Bullet, One Heart A Rose for Everafter A Skull at Springtime Storm Approaching Storm Fall Storm Front Storm Rising Storm Season Storm Warning Storm’s Break Storm’s Last Stand Unholy Storm When It Comes to Slaughter ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/55 "2013-10-19T22:29:52Z")
The articles/book that Mark Twain never got to write about Japan. BTW–this almost happened. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/56 "2013-10-20T19:00:49Z")
You’ll probably want the collected films of Troy McClure on DVD in this make-believe library of yours: [List of Troy McClure Films | Simpsons Wiki | Fandom](http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Troy_McClure_Films) ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/57 "2013-10-22T18:19:18Z")
The _Launcelot Panther_ stories by Gemma Bow and her classmates, from Noel Streatfeild’s children’s novel **Gemma**. ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/58 "2013-10-22T22:29:08Z")
> [@detop](#): > > _To Serve Man_ A classic! ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/59 "2013-10-23T01:29:14Z")
> [@Largo62](#): > > A classic! Thanks ! I figured there should be at least one cookbook in the library 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/60 "2013-10-23T01:45:51Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > The Book of Three. > The Necrotelecomnicon Or, for the more commerce minded, the **Paginarum Fulvarum**. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444.md?page=4)