# Help me stock the ultimate (fictional) library **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** books-writing-myths\ **Created:** [October 16, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444 "2013-10-16T23:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/101 "2014-07-23T04:02:34Z")
In his 1985 short story “Portraits of His Children,” George R.R. Martin writes of the intermittently successful novelist Richard Cantling. His first novel _Hangin’ Out_ was autobiographical, about his growing up in Newark, N.J. Characters included Jocko, the Squid, Nancy and Dunnahoo, who hang out at Ricci’s Pizzeria. _Family Tree_ and _Rain_ came next, but didn’t sell well. _Black Roses_ was Cantling’s fourth novel. Its main characters were a man named Richardson, and Cissy, a gorgeous redhead, and it had explicit sex scenes. It sold very well. _Byeline_ came next, about Barry Leighton, a world-weary reporter at a failing newspaper; _En Passant_ and _Times Are Hard_ Cantling’s next two books, also flopped. His last-mentioned book was _Show Me Where It Hurts_, about a brutal rape and its aftermath; it was a bestseller. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2016, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/102 "2016-03-15T19:48:22Z")
I just finished Robert Harris’s very good but chilling alternative-history novel _Fatherland_, in which Nazi Germany wins World War II and, by 1964, dominates all of Europe. One of the characters is mentioned as reading Barbara Cartland’s _The Kaiser’s Ball_. Cartland wrote a lot of romances, but none by that name in our universe. > **[Barbara Cartland bibliography](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Cartland_bibliography)** > > Dame Barbara Cartland (1901–2000) was a prolific English contemporary and historical romance novelist who published 728 books over 76 years. > Cartland published under several pen names, including her married name Barbara McCorquodale. She also briefly published under the pen name Marcus Belfry, the pseudonym of Polish film and television actor Olek Krupa. > After her death in 2000, 160 unpublished archival manuscripts were published as the Barbara Cartland Pink Collection. ---
**Author:** ![Ferd\_Burfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@Ferd\_Burfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferd_Burfel)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2016, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/103 "2016-03-17T18:46:18Z")
I’m very late to this thread, but I’d nominate Richard Stark’s rarest Parker novel **Child Heist** I loaned my copy to John Dortmunder and haven’t seen it since. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/104 "2017-04-29T17:12:31Z")
Bumped. Conan Doyle told us that Sherlock Holmes wrote several monographs, including _Upon the Distinction Between the Ashes of the Various Tobaccos; A Study of the Influence of a Trade upon the Form of A Hand; Upon the Polyphonic Motets of Lassus; A Study of the Chaldean Roots in the Ancient Cornish Language_; as well as the _Practical Handbook in Bee Culture, with Some Observations upon the Segregation of the Queen_, and the unfortunately still-unpublished four-volume \*The Whole Art of Detection. \* ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/105 "2017-04-29T19:33:23Z")
Stephen King’s The Body is narrated by Gordon Lachance, who mentions he is now a writer of seven best selling novels about the supernatural. Let’s find them and stock them. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/106 "2017-04-29T21:10:17Z")
The collected newspapers of the Potterverse, documenting the activities of the Ginger Witch. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/107 "2017-04-29T21:28:18Z")
These days, a lot of libraries stock DVDs. So, The Purple Rose of Cairo (not Woody Allen’s film, but the film-within-a-film). [Gundala](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gundala_(film)) Lord of Light > [@](#): > > from [Lord of Light - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_of_Light) > > In 1979 it was announced that Lord of Light would be made into a 50 million dollar film. It was planned that the sets for the movie would be made permanent and become the core of a science fiction theme park to be built in Aurora, Colorado. Famed comic-book artist Jack Kirby was even contracted to produce artwork for set design. However, due to legal problems the project was never completed. > > Parts of the unmade film project—the script and Kirby’s set designs—were subsequently acquired by the CIA as cover for the “Canadian Caper”: the exfiltration of six US diplomatic staff trapped by the Iranian hostage crisis (in Tehran but outside the embassy compound). The rescue team pretended to be scouting a location in Iran for shooting a Hollywood film from the script, which they had renamed Argo.[4][5] The story of the rescue effort was later told in the 2012 film Argo. [See You Next Wednesday](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_You_Next_Wednesday), John Landis’ film-within-a-film. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/108 "2017-04-29T22:07:10Z")
“The Pollution Solution”, described as the worst play ever written, in Ellen Conford’s MG novel **Dreams of Victory**. (Victory, the heroine, played “Litter”.) ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/109 "2017-04-29T23:35:43Z")
John Shade’s “Pale Fire”, in your poetry section. ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/110 "2017-04-30T01:31:50Z")
“The collected works of Gregor Markowitz.” (Referenced in Norman Spinrad’s “Agent of Chaos” And while we’re on the subject of Spinrad, some of the other works of Adolf Hitler (referenced in “The Iron Dream”) sounded interesting. Heck, I wouldn’t mind going with you just to check out a world where Hitler was merely a hack SF writer. And, of course: “The Grasshopper Lies Heavy, by Hawthorne Abendsen.” ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/111 "2017-05-01T01:09:57Z")
I believe DVDs should be accessible also. “Angels with Filthy Souls” and “Angels with Even Filthier Souls,” from _The Home Alone_ movies would be good. Of course, in the section containing the scripts for plays, we’d have “Springtime for Hitler: A Gay Romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden.” and “Prisoners of Love,” both from _The Producers_. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/112 "2017-05-01T01:55:21Z")
Also, _Ninja Vixen_, starring Bette Midler’s character from _Outrageous Fortune._ ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/113 "2017-05-01T02:07:10Z")
If you’re talking DVD’s too, put me down for a copy of “Buckaroo Banzai versus the World Crime League”. ---
**Author:** ![wendelenn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/58f4c7/32.png) [@wendelenn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendelenn)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/114 "2017-05-01T03:00:21Z")
> [@guestchaz](#): > > The collected newspapers of the Potterverse, documenting the activities of the Ginger Witch. I’d like The Adventures of Marvin Miggs, the Mad Muggle. And Hogwarts: A History (I hold out a faint hope that JKR will actually write this!) ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/115 "2017-05-01T03:34:51Z")
Does an index for this library exist? ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/116 "2017-05-01T09:37:26Z")
[Illuminating The Dark Fields - Mapping The American Psyche by Edward Morra](https://i.imgur.com/ONER4t5.jpg) It came up in the Limitless (2011) thread, the title references the film’s source material. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/117 "2017-05-01T12:44:00Z")
I’d probably find most of Holmes’ works dreadfully dry, but I have to admit, I’d deary love to read a copy of “On the Dynamics of an Asteroid”, by the esteemed Dr. Moriarty. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/118 "2017-05-01T14:44:45Z")
> [@eunoia](#): > > [Illuminating The Dark Fields - Mapping The American Psyche by Edward Morra](https://i.imgur.com/ONER4t5.jpg) > > It came up in the Limitless (2011) thread, the title references the film’s source material. Good one! The phrase is by F. Scott Fitzgerald, from near the very end of _The Great Gatsby_, and was used as an epigraph by Alan Glynn (his novel _The Dark Fields_ is what became _Limitless_, and was republished under that name as a tie-in to the film): “He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night…” ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2017, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/119 "2017-05-01T22:23:51Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > If you’re talking DVD’s too, put me down for a copy of “Buckaroo Banzai versus the World Crime League”. While this movie needed to exist IRL, I’m torn as to whether or not it should be included. As it wasn’t “in” the movie but was only a blurb at the end of the movie, it seems more like an ad for a never made sequel. But, on the other hand, you could argue that it was there to enhance the concept of Buckaroo Banzai’s fictional universe, so it should be. I’m way too over-thinking this. Fun, harmless thread; thumbs-up IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2017, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444/120 "2017-05-06T13:46:07Z")
What about the fictional books I want created, like Gump Meets Trump or Forrest Trump? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-stock-the-ultimate-fictional-library/671444.md?page=7)