# Help me test my theory about people who don't like kids **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 11, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113 "2006-10-11T22:30:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/1 "2006-10-11T22:30:36Z")
I happen to be a person who is not especially fond of children, and I never have been. I never wanted them, ever. But I also don’t really like them much. Some I like more than others, some I care very much about, but generally…not my favorite version of human being. This morning I had what felt very much like an epiphany regarding this attitude and where it might come from. Thinking about the 3 other people in my life that also do not care for children very much, I found that my epiphany was holding true for them, as well. So now let me ask a larger audience- thinking about people you know who don’t much like kids: did they have a particularly tough childhood socially? In other words, is it fair to say of these adults that they didn’t much like kids _when they were kids themselves, and kids didn’t much like them, either?_ Because that was certainly my own experience. Yes, I had a friend or two, but overall I was very much an outsider, ostracized by the larger group for an ever-expanding list of reasons:my height, my brain, my weight, whatever. I had a particularly rough time. Kids were not very nice to me. I preferred older people, who thought I was great. And now here I am, a middle-aged woman, and I have never liked kids as an adult, either. The 3 other people I thought of who don’t like kids had the same experience as I did as kids. Have I hit on something here? (This is distinct from not wanting to have children, by the way. I think lots of people decide they don’t want to raise kids because of extreme dysfunction in their family dynamics that leaves its mark, I qualify here as well. But often such people have relatively satisfying and successful connections with other children, and therefore don’t actually dislike kids in any way.) ---
**Author:** ![melondeca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@melondeca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melondeca)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/2 "2006-10-11T22:49:20Z")
Wow, just…wow. That was me as a kid and that is me as an adult. I hope some other people weigh in here because I think you are definitely on to something. I do like some of my friends’ kids and I love my nieces and nephews but like you, I don’t care for kids as a group. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/3 "2006-10-11T22:50:08Z")
I was a total social outcast as a kid, but I like kids now. I’m not terribly interested in babies, but I like kids. ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/4 "2006-10-11T22:54:05Z")
I had kind of a rough childhood and had a relatively small group of friends. But I don’t know if I would necessarily draw a correlation. Most of my crowd consists of folks who are similarly child-free, but as far as I know their childhoods weren’t too bad. In fact, the one who had the absolutely worst childhood is the one with the most kids. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/5 "2006-10-11T22:59:09Z")
You may very well be onto something… I was a social outcast as a kid, too, and I just don’t care for them to this day. There are some individual kids that I can tolerate, and even enjoy on occasion… but as a rule, I’d rather not, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/6 "2006-10-11T23:01:40Z")
Yep, my experience mirrors yours, **Stoid**. Of course, I didn’t like adults much when I was a kid either. Still don’t. But they’re usually better than kids, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/7 "2006-10-11T23:05:30Z")
I’m not a fan of kids, although I can’t say I dislike them. I had an okay childhood with no major traumas. I was never a social outcast and like other kids fine when I was one. However, I don’t idealize my childhood. It wasn’t the best time of my life. I don’t think of it as “a time of innocence.” It was more a time of ignorance and fewer responsibilities. It was fun and all, but I like being an adult better. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/8 "2006-10-11T23:05:40Z")
I’m not really that into kids except my own two. I wasn’t exactly a social outcast but I did prefer the company of older family members and other adults. I never really related to other children. ---
**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/9 "2006-10-11T23:12:43Z")
[QUOTE=Neptunian Slug] I had kind of a rough childhood and had a relatively small group of friends. But I don’t know if I would necessarily draw a correlation. Most of my crowd consists of folks who are similarly child-free, but as far as I know their childhoods weren’t too bad. In fact, the one who had the absolutely worst childhood is the one with the most kids. [/QUOTE] As a corollary to my earlier comment, Mrs. Slug had an almost sickeningly pleasant childhood and like children less than I do. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/10 "2006-10-11T23:21:54Z")
I don’t like kids much. I’m only 20, but I have a hard time remembering exactly what it was like to be a little kid. If I ever have a kid, it will be adoption and not of a baby. Some kids are okay, but some are pretty horrible. I like my little cousins and some of my friends’ little siblings or nephews/nieces. I had a good childhood. I got made fun of like everyone else, but I had a lot of good friends. I was just a tall girl with glasses and gap teeth. So of course other kids would make fun of me. It sucked, but I always had friends to back me up. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/11 "2006-10-11T23:34:31Z")
Yep, count me in, too. I’ve never liked kids, even when I was one. The repetitious jokes, the giggling, and the endless war for popularity . . . I’d just shake my head and go back to my book. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/12 "2006-10-11T23:54:30Z")
[QUOTE=Lissa] Yep, count me in, too. I’ve never liked kids, even when I was one. The repetitious jokes, the giggling, and the endless war for popularity . . . I’d just shake my head and go back to my book. [/QUOTE] Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/13 "2006-10-11T23:58:11Z")
Wow. That sounds almost like a mirror image of my own childhood. Ostricised by other kids, pegged as a geek, nerd, a brainer, whatever. Mercilessly teased by my height (5’5" presently) or my (lack of) social status or whatever else the kids could pick up on. The few friends I did have were largely cut from the same cloth. And no, I’m not particularly fond of kids. I can _so_ see myself becoming the crotchety Get Of My Lawn old man. Hell, I look at most kids right now and can’t help thinking to myself, “I couldn’t have been that much of a dick.” Though I probably was, if maybe in different ways. (I had emotional issues and lashed out frequently in my pre-teen years, projecting a lot of my own problems and insecurities on others) So, yeah. Accurate assessment here, too. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2006, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/14 "2006-10-11T23:58:22Z")
You’ve described my situation pretty well, too. I got a rough time from other kids and never learned to like them much when I was a kid. I liked adults better; they would at least talk to me. I like being an adult much better. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/15 "2006-10-12T00:04:40Z")
I’ve just checked in with my husband who said: “Yeah probably works for some. I had loads of friends at school.” so count him down for a no. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/16 "2006-10-12T00:13:02Z")
My childhood wasn’t delightful, but that was more about family dynamics than anything going on with my peers, with whom I generally got along pretty well. I don’t dislike kids, but I’m not particularly kidcentric either. (I don’t really get “I love kids” any more than I get “I love people” or “I love dogs” or “I love [any way generic group],” but that’s just me. Any group, there’s gonna be some members I like and some members I don’t, I’m not gonna generalize about it.) ---
**Author:** ![overeasy4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9bd4f/32.png) [@overeasy4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overeasy4)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/17 "2006-10-12T00:30:05Z")
It could be hormones. I had friends as a child, but was considered ugly. I never liked kids, til i had one. Then the hormones kick in, and now I think they are great. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/18 "2006-10-12T00:44:05Z")
Another miserable, friendless childhood checking in. I never wanted to have kids, either, only I thought it was primarily because I didn’t want to re-experience those years through my children’s eyes. However, I can’t say I shared your dislike of children in general. I’ve got a major playful streak, and as an adult have enjoyed interacting with kids in various work settings; helping the Children’s Librarian was especially fun. Now that I’m a parent, though, I’m back to looking at them a little askance - particularly the ones who shove my kids at PlayLand. ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/19 "2006-10-12T00:57:03Z")
I didn’t really like kids, as a group, when I was a kid. I had friends but taken as a whole kids kind of annoyed and perplexed me. (I don’t know how I would rate my childhood socially; it wasn’t great but I recognize now that a lot of my problems were of my own making, or were well within my power to fix or at least ameliorate. It certainly wasn’t as bad as some peoples stories I have heard.) Now that I am older I generally feel the same way, I have trouble relating to kids as a species. Not my own son, my nieces and nephews, and some of my son’s friends however. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Golden\_Ass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@The\_Golden\_Ass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Golden_Ass)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2006, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113/20 "2006-10-12T01:04:52Z")
Yeah, that sounds like me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-test-my-theory-about-people-who-dont-like-kids/376113.md?page=2)