# Help me understand "Gay Pride"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2019, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670 "2019-07-07T14:34:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/21 "2019-07-07T17:27:47Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > This. And taking bets that OP does not return to this thread … I was thinking that too. ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/22 "2019-07-07T17:28:39Z")
Now, all the replies here are pretty fine. Points to Thudlow Boink for being completely direct and straightfaced in an early reply… But I’m going to give my vote to monstro. I thought the “Proud to be an American” was quite on point. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/23 "2019-07-07T17:31:31Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I admit, I have the same thoughts as the OP when it comes to the concept of national pride. When asked if he was proud to be an American, the late Bill Hicks said, “I didn’t have much to do with it. My parents fucked there”. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/24 "2019-07-07T17:41:59Z")
There’s a meme: > [@](#): > > Gay Pride was not born of a need to celebrate being gay, but rather of our right to exist without persecution. So instead of wondering why there isn’t a “Straight Pride” movement, be thankful that you don’t NEED one. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/25 "2019-07-07T17:56:05Z")
> [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > But I’m going to give my vote to monstro. I thought the “Proud to be an American” was quite on point. Indeed. That was a very apt example/reference. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/26 "2019-07-07T19:02:28Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > There’s a meme: Bingo. That nails it. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/27 "2019-07-07T19:27:47Z")
You answer your own question. read this: > [@Urbanredneck](#): > > He has been successful in a difficult career. THAT is also something to have pride in. as this: He has been successful in a difficult _culture_. THAT is also something to have pride in. and you’re done. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/28 "2019-07-07T19:35:41Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > I’m having trouble believing that in 2019 someone could ask this question sincerely. I disagree. I’ve had this discussion with people who a) genuinely don’t understand the concept and b) genuinely want to be informed about it. The answers here have been very good. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/29 "2019-07-07T20:32:42Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > I disagree. I’ve had this discussion with people who a) genuinely don’t understand the concept and b) genuinely want to be informed about it. > > The answers here have been very good. Canadians are such nice people. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/30 "2019-07-07T22:25:22Z")
I came out in 1963. Back then, there was no such thing as gay pride, only gay shame. I admitted openly that I had “homosexual feelings” but was ashamed of those feelings. To embrace them would have been unthinkable back then. Nobody in the world was saying it was ok to be gay. Nobody. When we met in bars (the only place we could meet), we ran the risk of being harrassed, beaten, arrested, publicly shamed, losing our family, our jobs, even our lives… just for sitting in a bar. Today, we have an openly gay man running for president, and an openly gay woman leading a sports team to international victories. And we recently celebrated by the millions, in cities around the world. Just in my own lifetime we have overcome so much. Though we still have a long way to go, we have so much to celebrate and be proud of. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/31 "2019-07-07T23:19:10Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I came out in 1963. Back then, there was no such thing as gay pride, only gay shame. I admitted openly that I had “homosexual feelings” but was ashamed of those feelings. To embrace them would have been unthinkable back then. Nobody in the world was saying it was ok to be gay. Nobody. When we met in bars (the only place we could meet), we ran the risk of being harrassed, beaten, arrested, publicly shamed, losing our family, our jobs, even our lives… just for sitting in a bar. > > Today, we have an openly gay man running for president, and an openly gay woman leading a sports team to international victories. And we recently celebrated by the millions, in cities around the world. > > Just in my own lifetime we have overcome so much. Though we still have a long way to go, we have so much to celebrate and be proud of. You gave me chills. Well done, you. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2019, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/32 "2019-07-07T23:51:46Z")
So, OP, do you understand it now? ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/33 "2019-07-08T01:44:54Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I came out in 1963… I would be fascinated to hear more about this in another thread. Any chance of doing an “Ask the guy who came out in 1963” thread? mmm ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/34 "2019-07-08T02:13:24Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Indeed. That was a very apt example/reference. It does to me to. Although I still would rather celebrate an actual accomplishment. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/35 "2019-07-08T02:17:53Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Where is the trophy, diploma, or medal for being just what you say you are? I am guessing you are under a certain age but the pride movement came out of the 1960’s. At the time it was not good to be openly gay and people were shamed, today the world is different but the proud moniker has stuck. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/36 "2019-07-08T02:32:35Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > It does to me to. > > Although I still would rather celebrate an actual accomplishment. Maybe if you had spent your life under threat of being beaten up, jailed, or murdered if someone found out about your personal life, you would celebrate being able to be open about your life in the same way everyone else is. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/37 "2019-07-08T02:39:37Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Although I still would rather celebrate an actual accomplishment. Well, [you seem to be perfectly willing to celebrate other people’s “actual accomplishments” as something you personally feel pride in](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=20164161&postcount=22), as long you identify with those other people in some way: > [@Urbanredneck on 04-26-2017](#): > > I am proud of what so many Germans did in science, music, and the arts. Even if you yourself haven’t accomplished jack-shit in science, music or the arts, you still think you’re entitled to be proud of what other Germans did. So why shouldn’t gay people feel pride in what gay people as a group have accomplished and overcome, irrespective of whether or how much they themselves have overcome hardship and/or achieved something particularly admirable? I find it somewhat telling that you think people are entitled to have pride “just for being” of German descent, but not “just for being” gay. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/38 "2019-07-08T02:40:45Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Although I still would rather celebrate an actual accomplishment. Jesus Fucking Christ. People actually _ **surviving** _ a society that wants to silence or hide away or kill them is an actual accomplishment. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/39 "2019-07-08T02:55:32Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Although I still would rather celebrate an actual accomplishment. Is it that you don’t think surviving and thriving in a hostile culture is an actual accomplishment, or that you don’t think the culture was actually hostile? ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/40 "2019-07-08T03:13:25Z")
> [@Alpha\_Twit](#): > > The accomplishment is being who you are _openly_ in what is commonly an acutely hostile environment. That takes integrity and courage. That, IMHO is worthy of pride. > > I would have no problem with your position if we were truly an accepting and understand society. In such a world, sexual orientation would essentially be a non-issue. We don’t live in such a world and all too many people seem to be perfectly OK with that. Doubtful, to me since the “Who you are” bit is iffy to me. As for pride being the opposite of shame, it’s actually it’s source. Humility is the opposite of shame because it doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone, pride seems like a flimsy shield to me. For me personally Pride felt cheap and unearned. I’m supposed to be proud of something I didn’t ask for and didn’t earn? It felt like I just got conscripted into some kind of club I never asked to join and now I’m supposed to feel good about it? To me being gay isn’t WHO I am it’s WHAT I am. If won first place in a swim meet that would be pride, because it took effort and grit. Pride just seems to me like asking those in power permission to be, it’s weak. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670.md?page=3)