# Help me understand "Gay Pride"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 7, 2019, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670 "2019-07-07T14:34:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/161 "2019-07-08T22:23:22Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > It seems you don’t get the history behind to move for campaigning for marriage equality, it used to be an issue because it was a straight or “hetero” institution and it was seen as trying to appear normal to those who viewed them as deviant. Who viewed it as such? “It was seen” is passive voice- who saw it that way? The people who wanted to get married, or the people who didn’t want to let them? ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/162 "2019-07-08T22:27:39Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > If it’s okay to ‘other’ one group, then there’s one less barrier to othering the next. Also, I can’t figure out how one can rationally view somewhere between 2% and 10% of the entire world population as “not large enough that what happened to them really mattered”. If we were talking about a really tiny minority of human beings, one in ten million or something, then saying that they were too few for their fate to matter would still be callous and inhumane, but at least it might seem superficially plausible due to the relative tininess of the group. But slapping the “too few to matter” label on a group whose size is somewhere between that of all the world’s redheads and all the world’s left-handers? That’s not even remotely credible. Hell, that’s bigger than the entire population of many nations of considerable historical importance. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/163 "2019-07-08T22:29:11Z")
> [@raventhief](#): > > Who viewed it as such? “It was seen” is passive voice- who saw it that way? The people who wanted to get married, or the people who didn’t want to let them? No more like dissent within the rights movement. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/164 "2019-07-08T22:30:57Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Also, I can’t figure out how one can rationally view somewhere between 2% and 10% of the entire world population as “not large enough that what happened to them really mattered”. > > If we were talking about a really tiny minority of human beings, one in ten million or something, then saying that they were too few for their fate to matter would still be callous and inhumane, but at least it might seem superficially plausible due to the relative tininess of the group. But slapping the “too few to matter” label on a group whose size is somewhere between that of all the world’s redheads and all the world’s left-handers? That’s not even remotely credible. Hell, that’s bigger than the entire population of many nations of considerable historical importance. That is too small to matter. It’s not like 30-40% ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/165 "2019-07-08T23:00:33Z")
> [@bump](#): > > As for the pride as opposite of shame idea; the way I conceive of it as a straight man, is that it’s akin to having something inherent about yourself that some may not like. You may be ugly, short, bald, fat, hairy, or something else that some may find to be a negative. > > Ultimately you have two choices- you can either be ashamed of yourself based on what others are saying about you, or you can give the world the finger and OWN whatever it is that those others are saying is bad about you. That’s what I understand Pride parades to be- gay people giving the rest of the world the finger and saying “I’m how I am, and I’m not going to be ashamed about it.” I still dont see any big accomplishment in “Pride” events. Even for most of those who have no problems with coming out and being gay. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/166 "2019-07-08T23:05:35Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Yeah, ok. Tell that to Matthew Shepherd’s loved ones. ARE Matthew Sheperds loved ones a part of Pride events anywhere? Be honest. That would make a “Pride” event more of a memorial serive rahter than the crazy event it is now. I mean you just threw that name out but really, are the loved ones of gays who have been discriminated against or killed being put out there or it just all for the craziness and rainbow flags? Be honest. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/167 "2019-07-08T23:07:21Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > I still dont see any big accomplishment in “Pride” events. Even for most of those who have no problems with coming out and being gay. Have you ever been made to feel ashamed of yourself for some reason, and then come to realize that you had nothing to be ashamed of? Have you ever felt like someone was trying to make you feel ashamed of something you should not feel ashamed of? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/168 "2019-07-08T23:10:08Z")
> [@TimfromNapa](#): > > Taking pride in accepting who you are in the face of adversity makes sense. Will someone please explain “Straight Pride” to me? I heard they had a parade for this in Boston recently. Well my friend really has had little adversity in his life connected to his gayness. His coming out was easy, it didnt hurt his career, and he’s a good looking guy so finding a partner wasnt a problem. Now to me he has done other things that he should have pride in and I cannot figure out why he doesnt have as much pride in his maters degree as he does in being gay. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/169 "2019-07-08T23:14:44Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Urbanredneck is just wondering, you know? Sea lions travel in a pride. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/170 "2019-07-08T23:18:21Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > ARE Matthew Sheperds loved ones a part of Pride events anywhere? > > Be honest. That would make a “Pride” event more of a memorial serive rahter than the crazy event it is now. > > I mean you just threw that name out but really, are the loved ones of gays who have been discriminated against or killed being put out there or it just all for the craziness and rainbow flags? > > Be honest. It’s my understanding that some families come out to support their LGBTQ family member. Simple questions and should be easy to answer: Why does it get your shorts in a knot that a bunch of people want to celebrate their personal lifestyle among fellow LGBTQers, supporters and on-lookers? Who are they hurting? What is it that you’re afraid you’re missing out on by not having your own Urban Redneck Pride Parade? Be honest. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/171 "2019-07-08T23:19:42Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > Have you ever been made to feel ashamed of yourself for some reason, and then come to realize that you had nothing to be ashamed of? Have you ever felt like someone was trying to make you feel ashamed of something you should not feel ashamed of? It’s not really shame so much as people just kicking them down for no reason. But to understand gay pride is an endeavor doomed to fail since there isn’t any logic behind it at all. There isn’t anything to be proud of. Questions of the self notwithstanding ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/172 "2019-07-08T23:20:24Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Well my friend really has had little adversity in his life connected to his gayness. His coming out was easy, it didnt hurt his career, and he’s a good looking guy so finding a partner wasnt a problem. > > Now to me he has done other things that he should have pride in and I cannot figure out why he doesnt have as much pride in his maters degree as he does in being gay. He’s your friend. I’m sure he’d be happy to explain it to you if you asked him. Why haven’t you asked him instead of a bunch of strangers on a message board? ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/173 "2019-07-08T23:23:53Z")
It’s doubtful he’d be able to explain it because there isn’t sound logic behind it. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/174 "2019-07-08T23:37:14Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > But to understand gay pride is an endeavor doomed to fail since there isn’t any logic behind it at all. There isn’t anything to be proud of. Schools have school pride days. Sports fans have team pride events. Military veterans have pride and most who serve do so without having been on the front lines or put their lives at risk. Motorcycle club members take pride in being riding clubs. Boy scouts and girl scouts are proud of their troops. Entire nations root for their country’s athletes in the Olympics without leaving the comfort of their sofa. You should post a thread about each of those groups and tell them to knock it the fuck off with the illogical pride bullshit. It must be horribly confusing for you to come to this planet from your world and try to understand humans. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/175 "2019-07-08T23:41:46Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > It’s doubtful he’d be able to explain it because there isn’t sound logic behind it. It’s doubtful _you’d_ be able to understand it. That doesn’t mean he can’t explain it or that others don’t understand things you clearly can’t, or won’t. ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2019, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/176 "2019-07-08T23:59:10Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > It’s doubtful _you’d_ be able to understand it. That doesn’t mean he can’t explain it or that others don’t understand things you clearly can’t, or won’t. It’s more like one you show them the holes in the foundation behind it they’ll see how flimsy it is. That’s why they can’t explain it without emotional appeals ---
**Author:** ![Machinaforce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@Machinaforce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machinaforce)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/177 "2019-07-09T00:00:57Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Schools have school pride days. Sports fans have team pride events. Military veterans have pride and most who serve do so without having been on the front lines or put their lives at risk. Motorcycle club members take pride in being riding clubs. Boy scouts and girl scouts are proud of their troops. Entire nations root for their country’s athletes in the Olympics without leaving the comfort of their sofa. > > You should post a thread about each of those groups and tell them to knock it the fuck off with the illogical pride bullshit. > > It must be horribly confusing for you to come to this planet from your world and try to understand humans. And each of those types of pride is more nonsensical than the last. We belong to X and are proud to just exist as part of this arbitrarily created X, why? Because X. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever witnessed. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/178 "2019-07-09T00:01:21Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > ARE Matthew Sheperds loved ones a part of Pride events anywhere? > > Be honest. That would make a “Pride” event more of a memorial serive rahter than the crazy event it is now. > > I mean you just threw that name out but really, are the loved ones of gays who have been discriminated against or killed being put out there or it just all for the craziness and rainbow flags? > > Be honest. Of course Matthew Shepherd’s parents have been involved in Pride celebrations. [Matthew Shephard’s parent speak about being Pride marshalls for DC Pride in 2018.](https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Matthew-Shepard-Parents-Pride-Grand-Marshalls_Washington-DC-485001371.html) I’m not sure what you want people to “be honest” about. No, Pride isn’t all “craziness and rainbow flags.” Yeah, memorials to the dead are a part of Pride. We invite the families of people who have been murdered by right wing homophobes. We march with sections of the AIDS quilt. We have services to remember the people who didn’t make it. Hell, we have nice straight ladies showing up in shirts offering “Mom hugs,” which is cute, but also a reminder of how many of us have been disowned by their parents because we’re queer. Yeah, Pride is also a party - it’s a party because we remember how hard people like you fought to make people like us feel ashamed and isolated, and we know damned well how many of us didn’t survive. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/179 "2019-07-09T00:24:32Z")
> [@Machinaforce](#): > > It’s more like one you show them the holes in the foundation behind it they’ll see how flimsy it is. That’s why they can’t explain it without emotional appeals Not everyone is fundamentally broken like you, Machinaforce. > [@Machinaforce](#): > > And each of those types of pride is more nonsensical than the last. We belong to X and are proud to just exist as part of this arbitrarily created X, why? Because X. It’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever witnessed. So pleasure, joy, entertainment, camaraderie, competition, belonging, bonding… all foreign concepts to your world as well? I don’t think you’re going to enjoy your stay very much, Machinaforce. When does the mothership return? ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2019, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670/180 "2019-07-09T00:25:32Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > ARE Matthew Sheperds loved ones a part of Pride events anywhere? > > Be honest. That would make a “Pride” event more of a memorial serive rahter than the crazy event it is now. > > I mean you just threw that name out but really, are the loved ones of gays who have been discriminated against or killed being put out there or it just all for the craziness and rainbow flags? > > Be honest. ARE you proud to be an American? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-gay-pride/836670.md?page=10)