# Help me understand this Sumerian joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 23, 2023, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522 "2023-03-23T00:17:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/1 "2023-03-23T00:17:15Z")
I just came across this on social media. It’s reputedly the first bar joke. From a tablet, written in Sumerian > [@](#): > > A dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I cannot see a thing. I’ll open this one.’ Except nobody really gets it. Did the comedian just miss the mark, or is there some ancient Sumerian double entendre at play? What’s your idea? How can we interpret this to make it funny? > **[What makes the world’s first bar joke funny? No one knows.](https://www.wbur.org/endlessthread/2022/08/05/sumerian-joke-one)** > > A 4,000-year-old Sumerian proverb about a dog that walks into a tavern has left scholars and thousands of online commenters scratching their heads. The joke’s meaning has been lost, but finding it could reveal something unique about early human... ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/2 "2023-03-23T00:22:49Z")
His eyes are shut? I wonder if there’s some Sumerian wordplay that is lost because we don’t know the exact pronunciation. Maybe something in there has a homophone that we can’t know but that makes the joke work. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/3 "2023-03-23T00:25:26Z")
Of course, we’re probably also losing something in translation. Does the word translated as “see” actually mean “see”, or more like “sense” (and so might encompass hearing or scent)? What does “open” mean-- Could it, in this context, include lighting a lamp? ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/4 "2023-03-23T00:34:31Z")
Ok, weak sauce, but here’s my take: Dog is slang for a young guy looking to meet women. Also, your penis is referred to as your “third eye”. So, the joke is that a guy who’s looking to meet women comes into the bar and “complains” that he can’t see so he has an excuse to pull out his penis. Lame, I know, but that’s what I came up with. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/5 "2023-03-23T00:36:36Z")
How about something akin to: > They all look the same to me. I’ll open this one at random. What could possibly go wrong? Of course everyone, ancient Sumerian or modern Westerner, can predict that _something_ major will go wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Llama\_Llogophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@Llama\_Llogophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Llama_Llogophile)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/6 "2023-03-23T00:45:52Z")
Too soon. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/7 "2023-03-23T00:56:11Z")
Hm, that one has potential. Would a Sumerian bar have had individually-packaged drinks (as opposed to one big keg, or the like)? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/8 "2023-03-23T01:01:06Z")
I’m assuming the “something” is either a gag gift or a bar snack. Packaged liquids are still millenia in the future to those folks. IOW, not only unavailable but inconceivable. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/9 "2023-03-23T01:02:08Z")
Well, obviously not a can or a glass bottle, but maybe a clay jug or the like. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/10 "2023-03-23T01:02:45Z")
> [@Llama\_Llogophile](#): > > Too soon. Now THAT’s funny. ---
**Author:** ![bleach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bleach/32/3106_2.png) [@bleach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bleach)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/11 "2023-03-23T01:11:51Z")
In the WBUR article, Dr. Gonzalo Rubio from Penn State suggested that the word for “bar” could mean tavern but also “a place for sex trade.” His point was that it also could be “a dog walks into a brothel.” ---
**Author:** ![Mr.E](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.e/32/8932_2.png) [@Mr.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.E)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/12 "2023-03-23T01:25:08Z")
I once had a dream that I spoke to an ancient Sumerian about this joke. They said it was a reference to the (then common) belief that dogs won’t poop in the dark. They also said it’s funnier in the original Sumerian, but also it’s not a particularly good example of their culture’s humor. Absent any actual ancient Sumerians to ask, I present this as the closest we’ll ever get to an explanation. ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/13 "2023-03-23T01:35:11Z")
What did the man say when he walked into the bar? “Ouch!” ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/14 "2023-03-23T01:43:02Z")
Two men walk into a bar. You think the second one would have ducked. Hey wait! A duck walked into a bar … I’m gonna work on it. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/15 "2023-03-23T01:45:32Z")
Mebbe, “I cannot see a thing. I’ll open one eye.” ??? ---
**Author:** ![Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b487fb/32.png) [@Walken\_After\_Midnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walken_After_Midnight)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/16 "2023-03-23T02:01:29Z")
> [@bleach](#): > > In the WBUR article, Dr. Gonzalo Rubio from Penn State suggested that the word for “bar” could mean tavern but also “a place for sex trade.” His point was that it also could be “a dog walks into a brothel.” Wikipedia has the translation from the first person that translated it: > [@](#): > > “A dog, having entered an inn, did not see anything, (and so he said): ‘Shall I open this (door)?’” > **[Bar joke | First recorded example](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bar_joke#First_recorded_example)** > > The earliest known example of a bar joke is Sumerian, appearing in the form of two slightly different versions of a proverb inscribed alongside many others on two clay tablets excavated at Nippur at the end of the 19th century. The tablets were etched around 1700 BCE, during the Old Babylonian Empire, although Edmund I. Gordon, who published the first translation of most of the proverbs inscribed on these tablets, argued that the proverbs themselves probably date from a considerably earl Scholars... An explanation for the joke is offered in the OP’s article: > [@](#): > > And, at this moment, we buy his theory. A brothel’s guard dog is sitting outside the door under the bright Sumerian sun. He’s scaring away unwelcome Peeping Toms. But then he leaves his post. > > Amory: He goes inside, and his eyes aren’t used to the dark, so he can’t see anything. He opens the front door again, propping it to let in a little light. Now, outside, all those Toms are looking in, seeing their politicians and neighbors in flagrante, as Phil said. The guard dog messed up. Get it? Or, if it’s a bar acting as a brothel, it could be that the dog enters the bar, but there’s no-one actually in the bar, so he opens a door to reveal what is going on behind closed doors. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/17 "2023-03-23T02:09:25Z")
So it’s an early version of a Far Side comic? [![](https://www.raebear.net/comics/misc/far-side-informant.gif) ](https://www.raebear.net/comics/misc/far-side-informant.gif) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/18 "2023-03-23T02:13:29Z")
You really had to be there. See, there’s this cute little bar on the south side of Ur (take a left at the 25th century BCE), where they have a ten-for-one Happy Hour, starting when the shadow of the stick touches the rock, until you can’t see the stick. Well, these Ammonites are playing cards, a heated game of Go Rat, and the Sumerians decide to start telling purposely bad jokes, louder and louder so the jerks will leave, and we only found out later that Chucko of Eridu carved one of the silliest ones for posterity. The funniest part is that centuries later, people are trying to figure out the stupid _Bar Dog Joke._ ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/19 "2023-03-23T02:16:04Z")
LOL! I note that in Biblical Hebrew, from the same general region a millennium or so later, “dog” has a secondary meaning of “male prostitute”. So, if dog means hooker of either sex, then maybe some guy’s robe is the “this one” that’s being randomly opened. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2023, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522/20 "2023-03-23T02:55:20Z")
[Obviously the Sumerian version of 14 k of g in a fdp.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/14-k-of-g-in-a-f-p-d/382249) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-understand-this-sumerian-joke/981522.md?page=2)