# Help me update the Flame Mail Generator **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 21, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122 "2000-11-21T14:10:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/1 "2000-11-21T14:10:36Z")
[http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flamegenerator.html](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flamegenerator.html) I’ve updated some of the stuff that contained references that no one would get anymore… Please help me figure out more ways to update it (new things to say) Make sure you say what section it should go in! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/2 "2000-11-21T14:37:08Z")
Especially needed: Your post reminded me of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ So far we have: the efforts of a very fininte number of monkeys typing on 6 typewriters for 5 minutes some bad acid I took in the 60s ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/3 "2000-11-21T14:53:24Z")
Your post reminded me of:[list][_]the time I vomited alphabet soup.[_]G.Nome[_]my pledge to ignore you.[_] ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/4 "2000-11-21T14:57:32Z")
From recent BBQ action: The stitching on JDT’s foreskin Life before speel check ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/5 "2000-11-21T15:50:34Z")
Here are all the categories… and how many options they already have: Dear \_\_\_\_ (12) You are being flamed because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (21) Your post was \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (4) Your post reminded me of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (5) My attention was drawn to the fact that \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (29, some of which will be deleted) Furthermore \_\_\_\_\_\_ (4) To repent, you must \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (11) In closing, I’d like to say \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (12) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Pinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dr.Pinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Pinky)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/6 "2000-11-21T15:51:17Z")
hundred blatantly * * * I’m not an editor, but I play one on TV. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/7 "2000-11-21T15:59:54Z")
Furthermore: You should take your grammar checker out of “Frisian” mode. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/8 "2000-11-21T16:12:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > Here are all the categories… and how many options they already have: > > Dear Faeces Gobbler, > > You are being flamed because you have shown your inferior brain capacity yet again. > > Your post was decrepid, pointless and devoid of anything meaningful. > > Your post reminded me of applying hemmoroid cream to my cat’s anus. > > My attention was drawn to the fact that you still do not understand the basic functionalities of being an advanced tool user. > > Furthermore, I recommend you buy a shoehorn, and prise your head out of your ass. > To repent, you must purchase a copy of Dianetics and holds a book burning. > > In closing, I’d like to say I would have more luck poking hot butter up a hedgehogs ass with a needle than I would having an intelligent conversation. May a cloud of Donkey shit stop over your house. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/9 "2000-11-21T16:14:36Z")
thats “intellegent conversation with you” in the above post. \*preview is my friend… preview is my friend. ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/10 "2000-11-21T16:16:13Z")
OpalCat, I went to your link. Funny, funny stuff. However, I’m a little confused. Why does my name appear on your “Dear:” list? ---
**Author:** ![Nurlman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Nurlman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nurlman)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/11 "2000-11-21T16:29:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Your post was \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ - tiresome, whiny, pedantic, and just plain not good. - shockingly lucid and coherent, assuming it really **was** dictated to you by your dog. - apparently assembled by monkeys. - in violation of the terms of your parole. - a vast well into which I poured several minutes of my precious life, only to be rewarded with a vague sense of having been cheated. - delightfully forgettable. - unpunctuated. > [@](#): > > Your post reminded me of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ - things I spent years in therapy trying to forget. - the needlessly strict standards our society maintains to prevent involuntary civil committment. - the reasons why the internet is actually a Bad Thing™. - kindergarten. - an anthropology experiment gone horribly, horribly wrong. - the fact that we are all God’s creatures, no matter how pointless and annoying some of us seem. > [@](#): > > Furthermore \_\_\_\_\_\_ - it seems unlikely that you will ever successfully breed, for which we are all thankful. - I admire your ability to be so dense and yet so bitter. - I have a gun. - your single-minded zealotry has forced me to reconsider my opposition to post-natal abortion. - there is a time and a place for everything, and yours happens to be sixty years ago in the deep South. - Will Rogers never met a man he didn’t like, although I doubt he’d be too fond of you. ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/12 "2000-11-21T17:29:05Z")
Keeping in the spirit, here’s my go at it: > [@](#): > > Your post was \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ [ul][li]soporific.[/li][li]pieced together using a random word generator.[/li][li]devoid of any coherence, factual information, or point.[/ul][/li] > [@](#): > > Your post reminded me of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ [ul][li]rec.hobbies.acting-like-a-moron.[/li][li]a stream-of-consciousness novel written by a chimpanzee.[/li][li]a form of avant-garde poetry where every word has no meaning.[/li][li]Shemp Howard in _The Three Stooges Go Online._[/li][li]the reason stamping out ignorance takes so long.[/ul][/li] > [@](#): > > Furthermore \_\_\_\_\_\_ [ul][li]your mother hates you.[/li][li]your dog hates you.[/li][li]if you’re not paranoid, you ought to be.[/li][li]I see you’re the top candidate for Harvard’s endowed professorship in Advanced Stupidity.[/ul][/li] **Nurlman’s** are better, though. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/13 "2000-11-21T17:48:38Z")
Your post was: indicative of a severe personality disorder Your post reminded me of: The ramblings of that creepy homeless guy on the bus Robin ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/14 "2000-11-21T18:13:50Z")
Dear \_\_\_\_ Pus-tongued pervert Willowbrook escapee Stupid You are being flamed because \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ it’s that time of the month for me a half-baked crack-pot like you needs to be toasted your stupid Your post was \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (4) quite intelligent for an alien obviously meant for the [lurntoread.com](http://lurntoread.com) message board too stupid Your post reminded me of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (5) Those bygone days of olde english the lunatic ravings of Charles Manson words My attention was drawn to the fact that \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ the internet can be hazardous to your mental health there doesn’t seem to be an “e” key on your keyboard you have to be the stupidest person ever borne of woman Furthermore \_\_\_\_\_\_ methadone is not cough medicine don’t type again until after you remove the webbing from between your fingers you should tell your doctor the lobodomy was incomplete To repent, you must \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (11) get on AOL divorce bjorn and marry concrete while having an affair with Mark Serlin buy me a house In closing, I’d like to say \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ piss off pissant go tongue a light socket die ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/15 "2000-11-21T22:29:54Z")
Wheeee!! I’ve added a lot of your suggestions… keep it coming! [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flamegenerator.html](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/flamegenerator.html) ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/16 "2000-11-21T23:57:35Z")
You are being flamed because \_\_\_\_\_ - You are an obstinate jerk - Your brain is logic retardant Your post reminded me of \_\_\_\_ - My first hangover - My cat running across my keyboard My attention was drawn to the fact that \_\_\_\_\_ - You do not have the reading comprehension skills that God gave the common gerbil. - You obviously do not have opposable thumbs - You need to look up the definitions for “paragraph” and “punctuation” To repent \_\_\_\_ - You must listen to an excruciatingly detailed definition of feltching/squicking - you will be exiled to alt.knitting - your keyboard is being repossesed. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/17 "2000-11-22T00:12:25Z")
Your post was \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (4) more tedious than a Phaedrus manifesto better suited as fertilizer than message board content a waste of valuable bandwidth ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/18 "2000-11-22T00:14:43Z")
Dear (tricycle seat sniffer), You are being flamed because (the honor of this MB has tarnished). Your post was (the literary equivalent of sticking a Dave’s Insanity Sauce covered clothes hangar up my nasal cavity and fishing for my cortex). Your post reminded me of (the movie My Left Foot, except I’m guessing that you only have control of your pinky toe and no direct connection to the brain). My attention was drawn to the fact that (you’re a perfect illustration of the fact that sometimes the parole board makes mistakes). Furthermore (I’ve heard more intelligent comments come out of a Speak & Spell). To repent, you must (always write the opposite of what you’re “thinking”). In closing, I’d like to say (that maybe your writing talents are better suited to pissing in the snow). ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2000, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/19 "2000-11-22T01:00:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mojo \* > \*\* > In closing, I’d like to say (that maybe your writing talents are better suited to pissing in the snow). \*\* Opal, you have GOT to use this one 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2000, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122/20 "2000-11-28T00:55:25Z")
we need more "To repent, you must: " [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-update-the-flame-mail-generator/42122.md?page=2)