# Help me with a sentence for a lyric **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861 "2004-06-30T11:30:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AllezJong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AllezJong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllezJong)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/1 "2004-06-30T11:30:08Z")
Hi, First, let me say that English is not my native language. I had written a song a while ago, but now I noticed there’s an error in it. Somewhere, I sing “my tears they rock me… into sleep” and apparantly this is incorrect, it should be “to sleep”. But this doesn’t fit, it is too short. Could anyone come up with an alternative? The only thing I can think of is “till I sleep” or “to deep sleep” but that’s no good at all (especially the second one which sounds awkward). All suggestions are welcome. Thanks a lot. ---
**Author:** ![AllezJong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AllezJong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllezJong)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/2 "2004-06-30T11:52:55Z")
nevermind, this had been bugging me for days, but right after posting I found a solution… in stead of my tears they rock me… into sleep I’ll use my tears are rocking… me to sleep Which is perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/3 "2004-06-30T11:58:12Z")
Welcome. Actually, I like the first way you wrote it. It’s uncommon, well OK, unique usage, but it conveys a subtle meaning which you might like. “my tears they rock me… into sleep” or “my tears are rocking… me to sleep” very simply indicates a change of state from wakefulness to sleep. But “into” sleep suggests that “sleep” is an actual place. A location of somnambulistic bliss to which you are escaping or being moved toward. ---
**Author:** ![AllezJong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AllezJong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllezJong)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/4 "2004-06-30T12:12:12Z")
the song is written from the perspective of a dreamcharacter who is in love with the dreamer, and just realised he’s not a real person. so in that sense I also like the other meaning you see in it, but I’m afraid many people would just think it’s an error due to my bad English. still, I like your interpretation! ---
**Author:** ![Oregon\_sunshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Oregon\_sunshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oregon_sunshine)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/5 "2004-06-30T13:52:22Z")
IMHO, I think your first effort is a nice poetic usage of English. The use of “into” doesn’t strike me as an error on first glance at all, and after thinking about it some, it still doesn’t seem off-kilter as far as proper English. It fits the rhythm of the line and seems more evocative, like **Inigo** said…sort of like sleep is a place you are entering rather than a state of consciousness. A place like a room, or even “into” like diving into a pool, or fitting into a form, are all images possibly evoked by this usage. I vote to keep it! ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/6 "2004-06-30T15:39:35Z")
> [@ggurl](#): > > I vote to keep it! Ditto. I too think your original phrase is the better of the two. While it is not conversational English, it is _prettier_. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2004, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/7 "2004-06-30T22:52:43Z")
Another vote for keeping the original line. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/8 "2004-07-01T00:20:32Z")
If Metallica can get away with “Shining with brightness” as a lyric, I see no problem with this minor use of artistic license. Go for it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/9 "2004-07-01T02:58:31Z")
Keep the original version. It conjures up a \*process, \*rather than simply falling asleep. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/10 "2004-07-01T03:30:02Z")
Ditto. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with “rocking into sleep.” Maybe not the conventional turn of phrase, but there’s nothing jarring about your version. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/11 "2004-07-01T03:31:28Z")
_ahem_ I meant “rock me into sleep.” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/12 "2004-07-01T05:50:59Z")
Try to work in a reference to “colitas” while you’re at it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/13 "2004-07-01T11:59:48Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Try to work in a reference to “colitas” while you’re at it. Certainly not to be confused with colit **i** s, which has very little romantic appeal at all. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2004, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-a-sentence-for-a-lyric/252861/14 "2004-07-01T12:31:07Z")
Stick with the original. If anyone objects, show them your poetic license (available at most libraries). 😃