# Help me with some SteamPunk blurb **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 18, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458 "2003-09-18T20:14:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/1 "2003-09-18T20:14:05Z")
At the end of this month, I am taking part in a Victorian theme weekend/fair/fun day - I shall be playing the part of a fictional inventor named [Oswald P White](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gurman/Oswald2.jpg) and inviting patrons to have their portrait captured and printed in timely fashion utilising my famous machine - the [Patent Reliable Photo-Automato-Graph](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gurman/Machine2.jpg). (there never was such a man or machine, of course; the bellows camera on its faux rosewood and walnut tripod, contains a webcam, the Photo-Automato-Graph machine contains an inkjet printer) I shall be pre-printing the reverse side of the photo stationery with some blurb (including the two images above), but I could do with a little creative help. I’m trying to create a fantastical and falsely technical description of the inner working principles of the machine; something along the lines of "Utilising the scientific principles of reciprocal motion, agitated reaction and the recently-discovered properties of… "… the Phoito-Automato-Graph is able to unburden the photographer of the tiresome effort of photographic development… etc. Any suggestions will be most warmly welcomed. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/2 "2003-09-18T22:39:14Z")
"The Wonder of this Modern Age, the Photo-Automato-Graph applies the latest scientific advances in Galvanism and Chemistry to the ancient pursuit of Art. Never before has so great a boon to the art of portraiture been beheld by the eyes of Man. The Photo-Automato-Graph captures the image before it in delicate cells not unlike tiny Leyden jars. The resulting Galvanic Energy is applied to a sophisticated process that alters the optical properties of ordinary paper, causing it to reflect light in such precise mimicry of the original image that one would swear one looked upon the scene through a window. The chained lightning of the Photo-Automato-Graph makes possible the Near-Instantaneous production of faithful images, freeing the artist from the long drudgery and gloom of the Dark Room." How’s that for a starting point? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/3 "2003-09-18T23:50:25Z")
Very good, thanks ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/4 "2003-09-19T01:41:29Z")
Run it through the autohink and see what comes up. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/5 "2003-09-19T04:57:24Z")
You know, as a bona-fide gen-u-ine steampunk, I get to tired of people trying to label me a friggin goth. That is all, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/6 "2003-09-19T12:35:05Z")
The thing is, Jin, you really need to get yourself a gigantic walking robot spider. Then, when people call you a Goth, you can just swash them. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/7 "2003-09-19T12:36:32Z")
Of course, “swash” is the little-known Victorian alternate spelling for “squash.” It was used by Tennyson to great effect in his pseudo-Arthurian epic “The Swashing of Arthur.” _cough_ ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/8 "2003-09-19T13:45:20Z")
“Swash” is a perfectly good word. You do it to bucklers, you know. Being swashed by a giant mechanical spider would change my attitude no end. (Can’t think of any way to improve on **Balance** ’s suggestion.) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/9 "2003-09-19T14:47:14Z")
INCREDIBLE MACHINE CAPTURES YOUR LIKENESS WITH NO PAINTS OF ANY KIND! Astounding as it sounds, the Photo-Automato-Graph uses _no liquids of any type_ to capture your likeness, save a few drops of oil. Incorporating finely balanced and ingeniously designed lens, this device uses _actual beams of light_ as its medium and _special photstatic memory modules_ as its canvas. Then, a series of intricate wires and scalar axes composes your image onto specially formulated paper _using powdered ink_. Miraculously, _you only need to sit still for several minutes_ instead of for a whole week while your likeness is being captured! Not only that, the truly amazing Photo-Automato-Graph can be moved from place to place _with minimal effort!_ It weighs as little as a suitcase packed for a week-end holiday, and even has wheels for a short jaunt to the studio. _Truly an amazing invention to herald the new century!_ ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/10 "2003-10-19T07:31:45Z")
\It is alive! Alive!\ So, **Mangetout** , how did the Victorian fair go? ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/11 "2003-10-19T18:32:30Z")
Guess I didn’t zap it hard enough. I’ll give it another bump, then give up. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/12 "2003-10-19T22:36:52Z")
It was fantastic! - attendance was around 600 people (which was great, given that it was purely a local event. The whole thing was a roaring success, but coming down to earth afterward was a little bit bumpy as I hadn’t quite noticed exactly how much I was doing - among other things, I did a three 3-hour DJ slots (on the radio station that we set up to promote the event), I played the part of Fagin in a cut-down version of Oliver (presented as the entertainment for the Victorian harvest supper), I made a bunch of signs for many of the stalls and attractions, painted [this](http://homepage.ntlworld.com/gurman/Bracing.JPG), plus the whole Oswald P White thing and some more stuff. Phew! People are already asking about the next event. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/13 "2003-10-20T00:21:30Z")
[http://www.studiofoglio.com/girlgenius.html](http://www.studiofoglio.com/girlgenius.html) [http://www.studiofoglio.com/1.graphics.fun/girlgenius/adverts/ad1.gg.gif](http://www.studiofoglio.com/1.graphics.fun/girlgenius/adverts/ad1.gg.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-with-some-steampunk-blurb/202458/14 "2003-10-20T04:16:41Z")
I’m glad to hear that it went well. I know what you mean about production–I helped produce a game for about 80 people last weekend, and I was ready to drop at the end. You don’t realize how much work you’re doing until it’s over.