# Help me write my wedding announcement/invite **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901 "2006-08-08T19:22:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/1 "2006-08-08T19:22:13Z")
I need help on the wording for my wedding announcements and reception invitations. Actually, I think I have the announcements down – but I’m getting hung up on what to include in the reception invitations. Here’s the deal: my fiance and I will be getting married at the end of this month in a very tiny, private ceremony. We’ll be throwing a party to celebrate it about two weeks later. Separate announcements will be sent to friends and family out of state, with no mention of the party. The wording will be something like this: > [@](#): > > Beadalin > and > Her Honey > announce with joy > that we were married > in a private ceremony > On Sunday, the twenty-seventh of August > two thousand and six > in > Location, Minnesota So how should I word this on the party invitations? Do I include wedding information and then details of the party? Or party only? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/2 "2006-08-08T19:36:21Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > So how should I word this on the party invitations? Do I include wedding information and then details of the party? Or party only? Sure, I’d just use what you wrote on the announcements and then add something like “We invite you to celebrate with us at a reception at [place, time, details].” And while I’m here, best wishes to you both! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/3 "2006-08-08T19:46:30Z")
Dopers chime in, because I could be the only one who thinks this, but could you leave out “in a private ceremony”? I know in one sense you’re saying it was small and hardly anyone was invited, but to insecure me I think, I don’t know how many people were invited but I feel left out. I don’t know why that phrase being dropped makes me feel better but it does. Here’s to you and Your Honey and families being more well-adjusted than I, and Congrats!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/4 "2006-08-08T20:14:58Z")
> [@](#): > > I could be the only one who thinks this, but could you leave out “in a private ceremony”? I was wondering about that myself. I threw it in there to sorta-kinda help get the notion across that we’re not inviting people to a party who we deliberately excluded from the ceremony (which will have 5 witnesses, not counting the officiant). OK, so the wording could look like this: > [@](#): > > Beadalin > and > Her Honey > announce with joy > that we were married > On Sunday, the twenty-seventh of August > two thousand and six > in > Location, Minnesota > > Please celebrate with us > on > Sunday, the tenth of September > at six o’clock > Fancy Restaurant > Saint Paul, Minnesota Is that cool? ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/5 "2006-08-08T20:26:13Z")
Oh wait. We won’t have been married yet at the time folks receive the invitation, so I guess I’d phrase it “…announce with joy that we **will be** married…”. BONUS QUESTION: How important are outer and inner envelopes? I bought all the supplies to make these puppies completely forgetting about the inner-envelope thing. It’s not really a big deal to go get more (and bigger) envelopes, but shoot. I thought I was done. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/6 "2006-08-08T20:29:58Z")
Works for me. I’m not sure that the private ceremony thing has the same affect on me as it does on **gigi** but I don’t think it hurts anything to leave it out. People will be curious about the details of your wedding. Knowing the place and date will satisfy some, and I think you are better off answering specific questions (even nosy ones, or tell folks its not their business) than trying to anticipate questions. If I were you, I’d consider having a larger than snapshot size, but not neccessarily huge, picture of the bride and groom-- and maybe one with those invited to the wedding, in a place of honor at the Party. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/7 "2006-08-08T20:40:54Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > Oh wait. We won’t have been married yet at the time folks receive the invitation, so I guess I’d phrase it “…announce with joy that we **will be** married…”. > > BONUS QUESTION: > How important are outer and inner envelopes? I bought all the supplies to make these puppies completely forgetting about the inner-envelope thing. It’s not really a big deal to go get more (and bigger) envelopes, but shoot. I thought I was done. I say not important for a party invite. Traditional wedding invite, maybe, but not a party one. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/8 "2006-08-08T20:46:19Z")
> [@](#): > > I say not important for a party invite. Traditional wedding invite, maybe, but not a party one. Music to my ears. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/9 "2006-08-08T20:47:34Z")
I like simple elegance: [QUOTE] Beadalin and Her Honey invite you all to come sit your asses in a chair and raise your glasses in the air to our happiness over getting hitched a week or two ago. We love each other now we’re young we’ll love each other when we’re old We appreciate appliances but really like the cash that folds. If you can’t come just send gifts. Love Beadalin PS- Naming opportunities: Firstborn: $15,000 Car: $10,000 Dog: $5,000 ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/10 "2006-08-08T21:13:16Z")
Ah, so simple, so elegant, so classy. It’s as if you’ve looked into my heart, **Sampiro** , and drawn out the very essence of what I wanted to convey in my invitations. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/11 "2006-08-08T23:06:40Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > Oh wait. We won’t have been married yet at the time folks receive the invitation, so I guess I’d phrase it “…announce with joy that we **will be** married…”. Solve the (grammatical) tense problem and make it “. . . announce with joy / our marriage / on [Date] . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Zahava424](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/76d3ee/32.png) [@Zahava424](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zahava424)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2006, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/12 "2006-08-08T23:47:51Z")
Maybe it’s just the grammar nerd in me (okay, it’s definitely just the grammar nerd in me), but if you’re referring to yourselves in the third person (“Beadlalin” and “Beadalin’s Hunka Burnin’ Love”) then it should be in third person throughout: “announce with joy that **they** will be married” etc. It’s more correct, if slightly more impersonal. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/13 "2006-08-09T01:13:10Z")
Yay, **Scarlett67**! That’s a perfect re-write. And yay, **Zahava424**! I will do that, too. So howsabout this: > [@](#): > > We announce with joy > our marriage > on Sunday, the twenty-seventh of August > two thousand and six > in > Location, Minnesota > > Please join us to celebrate > with hors d’oeuvres and cocktails > on Sunday, the tenth of September > at six o’clock > Fancy Restaurant > Saint Paul, Minnesota > > Beadalin > and > Beadalin’s Hunka _Hunka_ Burnin’ Love Or should I just stick with the third person throughout? ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/14 "2006-08-09T02:15:21Z")
To me, your new version looks funny because the names are on the bottom. This is perfectly acceptable for most forms of invitations–although I’d often vote for handwriting them rather than printing them–but seems a little odd for a wedding announcement. But I am not a maven of proper wedding behavior, so maybe I’m wrong. So I guess I’m voting for using 3rd person throughout. ---
**Author:** ![Zahava424](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/76d3ee/32.png) [@Zahava424](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zahava424)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/15 "2006-08-09T04:36:53Z")
I’m okay with either first or third person, as long as it’s constant. The third person is more traditional and formal, while the first person is more personal and intimate. Whichever you feel fits the tenor of the celebration better is the one you should go with. Congratulations, by the way! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/16 "2006-08-09T04:55:40Z")
Ten bucks says a dozen people show up at Fancy Restaurant on August 27th. And no, I’m not sure how to fix that. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/17 "2006-08-09T14:10:50Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Ten bucks says a dozen people show up at Fancy Restaurant on August 27th. > And no, I’m not sure how to fix that. Yeah, I would say stick to the past tense and sent out the invites just after the wedding. But I understand that may be late notice for busy social folks. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-my-wedding-announcement-invite/367901/18 "2006-08-09T17:55:28Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Dopers chime in, because I could be the only one who thinks this, but could you leave out “in a private ceremony”? I know in one sense you’re saying it was small and hardly anyone was invited, but to insecure me I think, I don’t know how many people were invited but I feel left out. I don’t know why that phrase being dropped makes me feel better but it does. > > Here’s to you and Your Honey and families being more well-adjusted than I, and Congrats!! 😛 I agree. They already know they weren’t invited, just tell 'em you got married.