# Help me write the world's NEXT highest grossing film of all time. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 26, 2008, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983 "2008-04-26T19:06:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2008, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/21 "2008-04-26T21:54:42Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] 2 hot chicks in a catfight – because as the writer, I want it. [/QUOTE] Wrong, wrong, wrong! It’s been done to death. It’s cliched, hackneyed. Now THREE hot chicks in a catfight - that’s GOLD. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2008, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/22 "2008-04-26T22:16:59Z")
[QUOTE=zamboniracer] Wrong, wrong, wrong! It’s been done to death. It’s cliched, hackneyed. Now THREE hot chicks in a catfight - that’s GOLD. [/QUOTE] I am sold. We have 2 strong contenders already – who should be the 3rd? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/23 "2008-04-26T22:18:10Z")
Don’t forget Morgan Freeman as the old, wise mentor. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2008, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/24 "2008-04-26T23:56:55Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I am sold. We have 2 strong contenders already – who should be the 3rd? [/QUOTE] Never mind. I just came up with the 3rd – Denise Richards. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/25 "2008-04-27T00:00:03Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] Don’t forget Morgan Freeman as the old, wise mentor. [/QUOTE] Yes, he will be the narrator too. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/26 "2008-04-27T00:03:39Z")
It will need, unfortunately, plenty of scenes with a shaky camera. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/27 "2008-04-27T00:05:13Z")
Not sure what it’s called or what it’s about, but I found the IMDB entry: Genre: Action / Adventure / Romance / Fantasy / Thriller Tagline: Action, Adventure, Romance, Fantasy, Thriller just got a new middle name! Producer: Stephen Speilberg Director: James Cameron Original Score: Hans Zimmer vocals by Enya and Sarah Brightman Featuring an original single by: Madonna and Timbaland Cast: Tom Cruise…Ethan Maverick McGuire Leonardo Dicaprio…Steve Romance Cameron Diaz…Hottie Hotterson Ken Watanabe…Ninja Master Nicole Kidman…Mrs Moulon Stepford Megan Fox…Tits McGee Rece Witherspoon…The Princess Jeff Goldbloom…Doctor Scientist Justin Timberlake…Tiny Tim Samuel L Jackson…Bad Mother Fucker Meryl Streep…Grandma Bitchly Tom Hanks…Senator Gump Brad Pitt…Ugly Jim Ed Norton…Narrator Mike Meyers…Emporer Penguin King (voice) Zach Braff…Corporal Douche Jack Nicholson…Grandpa Matt Damon…Himself Keanu Reeves…Ben Affleck (Voice) John Voight…CIA Station Chief Freakerson Renee Zeilweiger…Frumpy Hotterson Freddy Rodriguez…El Hombre Jeremy Irons…Luftwaffe Major Fritz Bill Paxton…Hindenburg Bridge Officer Michael Beihn…Seal Commander Delta Angelina Jolie…Freaky Freakerson Christopher Walken…Dr. Strange Molly Cyrus…Singer in bar John Malcovich…Field Marshall vonHeimlich Bruce Willis…Colonel John Action R. Lee Emry…Chief Gunnery Sergeant Vin Deisel…Gigantor (voice) Will Smith…The Magical Negro Morgan Freeman…The Magical Negro (Age 80) Nicholas Cage…Fu Manchu ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/28 "2008-04-27T00:26:20Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Not sure what it’s called or what it’s about, but I found the IMDB entry: Genre: Action / Adventure / Romance / Fantasy / Thriller Tagline: Action, Adventure, Romance, Fantasy, Thriller just got a new middle name! Producer: Stephen Speilberg Director: James Cameron Original Score: Hans Zimmer vocals by Enya and Sarah Brightman Featuring an original single by: Madonna and Timbaland Cast: Tom Cruise…Ethan Maverick McGuire Leonardo Dicaprio…Steve Romance Cameron Diaz…Hottie Hotterson Ken Watanabe…Ninja Master Nicole Kidman…Mrs Moulon Stepford Megan Fox…Tits McGee Rece Witherspoon…The Princess Jeff Goldbloom…Doctor Scientist Justin Timberlake…Tiny Tim Samuel L Jackson…Bad Mother Fucker Meryl Streep…Grandma Bitchly Tom Hanks…Senator Gump Brad Pitt…Ugly Jim Ed Norton…Narrator Mike Meyers…Emporer Penguin King (voice) Zach Braff…Corporal Douche Jack Nicholson…Grandpa Matt Damon…Himself Keanu Reeves…Ben Affleck (Voice) John Voight…CIA Station Chief Freakerson Renee Zeilweiger…Frumpy Hotterson Freddy Rodriguez…El Hombre Jeremy Irons…Luftwaffe Major Fritz Bill Paxton…Hindenburg Bridge Officer Michael Beihn…Seal Commander Delta Angelina Jolie…Freaky Freakerson Christopher Walken…Dr. Strange Molly Cyrus…Singer in bar John Malcovich…Field Marshall vonHeimlich Bruce Willis…Colonel John Action R. Lee Emry…Chief Gunnery Sergeant Vin Deisel…Gigantor (voice) Will Smith…The Magical Negro Morgan Freeman…The Magical Negro (Age 80) Nicholas Cage…Fu Manchu [/QUOTE] There is no way you can make this film without a character part for [Eli Wallach](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0908919/)? This dude has been somewhere in every major motion picture since _The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly_. I’m also not sure if you’re legally permitted to produce a film without Colin Farrell’s participation. And what; no after credit track by Sting playing some instrument no one has even heard of for three hundred years? You seriously think this is going to go above the $100M mark? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![The\_Them](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Them](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Them)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/29 "2008-04-27T01:49:45Z")
**Cute Kids Cussing.** _Total_ draw. Would _E.T._ have been as big without Henry Thomas saying "penis breath?’ I think not. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/30 "2008-04-27T03:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=The Them] **Cute Kids Cussing.** _Total_ draw. Would _E.T._ have been as big without Henry Thomas saying "penis breath?’ I think not. [/QUOTE] Henry Thomas would certainly be in the film, and he would most definitely meet an untimely and gruesome end. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/31 "2008-04-27T03:48:39Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] And what; no after credit track by Sting playing some instrument no one has even heard of for three hundred years? You seriously think this is going to go above the $100M mark? Stranger [/QUOTE] Sting? Please. Sting will sing over the closing credits in a duet with Bono. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/32 "2008-04-27T07:54:43Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Sting? Please. Sting will sing over the closing credits in a duet with Bono. [/QUOTE] With Bryan Adams, provided we can pull him away from the Wal-Mart opening circuit. This movie is so going to [del]rock[/del]blow. And yet, it will still pull in the crowds, and allow investors to launder hundreds of millions of dollars of drug money. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/33 "2008-04-27T19:24:56Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Well, maybe their heads in jars, like Futurama. [/QUOTE] The hostess’ face, played by Parker Posey, could be kept by the door. [QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Never mind. I just came up with the 3rd – Denise Richards. [/QUOTE] If she turns out to be otherwise engaged, may I nominate the incredible [Meagan Goode](http://farm1.static.flickr.com/28/91159633_f12f7ae809.jpg). I saw her in _Waist Deep_ last night and was dying ot nominate her for something today. ---
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/34 "2008-04-27T21:08:53Z")
We also need to have a stripper with a heart of gold. Ms. Goode will do nicelly in this role. Heck, we need a hooker with a heart of gold too, to be played by Jessica Alba. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/35 "2008-04-27T21:20:46Z")
And snakes. Lots and lots of snakes. Maybe they’re somewhere where people can’t just run away and don’t have the tools with them to exterminate them. Let’s see. Where would be a good place to have people menaced by snakes? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/36 "2008-04-27T21:31:41Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] And snakes. Lots and lots of snakes. Maybe they’re somewhere where people can’t just run away and don’t have the tools with them to exterminate them. Let’s see. Where would be a good place to have people menaced by snakes? [/QUOTE] A minivan? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/37 "2008-04-27T21:32:50Z")
[QUOTE=zamboniracer] We also need to have a stripper with a heart of gold. Ms. Goode will do nicelly in this role. Heck, we need a hooker with a heart of gold too, to be played by Jessica Alba. [/QUOTE] Also, we need a rich old man, who needs a new heart to survive, and the blood of a young maiden. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/38 "2008-04-27T22:00:38Z")
A diital timer. Counting down. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/39 "2008-04-27T22:18:06Z")
Can there be a cameo from Scott Glenn and Tommy Lee Jones where they just smile? And then maybe Antonio Banderas wanders in somewhere followed by Jason Statham. If you really want to real in everyone, get the Harry Potter kids ( the big three) to show up nekkid. They are all 18 now, right? ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983/40 "2008-04-28T00:09:10Z")
You need a “thing” of power. Like, you know, a ring? And a volcano, but it could be underwater so Jar Jar Binks could, you know, “take the ring, although I do not know the way”? And a cross-species romance. This is largely unexplored territory. So, you know, the catfight between hotties could really be, you know, a catfight? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-me-write-the-worlds-next-highest-grossing-film-of-all-time/446983.md?page=3)