# HELP! My birds love me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 25, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586 "2009-05-25T18:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/1 "2009-05-25T18:01:31Z")
I read books and see videos that talk about how, with much patience and great care, you will, one day, induce your pet bird to sit on your finger. Much joy will ensue. Let me tell you, after awhile the ensuing joy starts to wear off. My birds love me. Insanely. They want to be on me ALL THE TIME. I have one on my shoulder right now, another grooming the nape of my neck, and a third one standing on my left ring finger which is really slowing down my typing speed. HOW DO I GET THEM OFF ME? HELP! Too. Much. Love. They will NOT leave me alone! They complain when removed - even when removed to a food bowl. Yes, it was fun at first to me nuzzled lovingly by a warm, feathery bundle of affection but it is TOO MUCH for this mammal! HEEEEELLLLLLP! ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/2 "2009-05-25T18:13:47Z")
Put the cat on your lap. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/3 "2009-05-25T19:27:12Z")
Bwahahaha, that’s just evil! ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/4 "2009-05-25T21:55:34Z")
They are still here! I tried to put them in their cages for a nap, but they just made pitiful noises. LOUD pitiful noises. The only time the conure has been off me is to poop in the trashcan (liked she’s been trained to do) and then it was right back to my left hand. Nibbled to death by ducks is _nothing_ compared to loved to death by parrots! ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/5 "2009-05-25T22:11:04Z")
Just wait til they love you enough to upchuck on you. Sounds like youve got boundary issues. They’d spend 7-24-365 with you if they could. If you need peace, cover the cages. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/6 "2009-05-25T22:23:56Z")
Break out some flour, Seven Herbs and Spices and a pot filled with vegetable oil, see if they take the hint, if they do, great, you get peace and quiet, if not, you get a really fresh dinner it’s win-win for you 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/7 "2009-05-25T22:41:13Z")
Broomstick, are all your birds conures, or do you have a mix? Parrots are flock birds, so really needy in the social aspect of life. Since you are the Flock leader, it’s especially important to their mind to cultivate your favor. That’s what they are hard-wired to do. This is one of the main reasons that people who want to have parrots as pets should know what they are getting into. A lonely parrot is a truly sad individual; they really need attention and companionship. Toys can help while away the hours, but parrots really need good attention. I guess I’d have to ask: do you like spending time with them, and, do you like the attention they give at all ? You gotta really like birdies at a close relationship to have parrots, and, since they live a good while, be prepared for a long time. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/8 "2009-05-25T23:19:29Z")
I’ll take the stance that the common line ‘You have to devote ungodly amounts of time to your birds to keep them socialized and happy’, is bunk. We have a Cockatiel that’s going on 24 and an African Grey that’s 10. They get a little attention each day (15-30 minutes) and they’re well adjusted and happy. I spent a long time initially weaning and training the Grey, but the time spent dropped significantly once the kids were born. He’s had his moments, but he’s not neurotic, well socalized, and not especially needy. The kids have also been raised in a bird household with no major ill effects. One got a pretty good nip as a toddler and that was all it took for them to respect the bird’s space. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/9 "2009-05-25T23:49:30Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Just wait til they love you enough to upchuck on you. Oh, they’ve done that already! > [@elelle](#): > > ``` > Broomstick, are all your birds conures, or do you have a mix? > > ``` Right now a conure and two cockatiels. We’ve had a different conure, other cockatiels, and lovebirds in the past. We’ve been bird people for, oh, 15+ years now. > [@](#): > > Parrots are flock birds, so really needy in the social aspect of life. Since you are the Flock leader, it’s especially important to their mind to cultivate your favor. Well, actually, the conure’s favorite human is my husband, but he wasn’t feeling well and sleeping most of the day, and when that happens the conure tends to get even more needy and seek me out more. > [@](#): > > I guess I’d have to ask: do you like spending time with them, and, do you like the attention they give at all ? Sure - but I’m not a bird. I’m not even a particularly social human being. Not feeling terribly well myself (both the humans have had some sort of bug this weekend) and thus feeling even less social than usual. Nonetheless, I pretty much wore the flock all day. For about two blessed hours they all took a nap (while sitting on me) but for some reason they were full of energy today where I wasn’t. My husband finally woke up and and took over flock leader duties. The only time I get really peeved is when they decide to “help” me play WoW or Guild Wars. And the guild loves it when they hear _chweeep_-SQUAAAAAACK! over ventrilo. Just feeling a bit overwhelmed by them today, it happens - most days I don’t mind being a mobile bird perch. If I’m in the house and in their line of sight they want to be with me, it’s nothing more than that. When it came time to put the darlings in their cages while I cooked dinner (safety first!) the conure didn’t want to go - she got on the opposite side of the cage from me, glared at me, and I could have sworn she said “F\*\*\* you!” I hope she didn’t. I really don’t want her to learn to swear. Regardless, the _sentiment_ was there! ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/10 "2009-05-26T01:58:18Z")
Sorry, Hon, after seeing you know birds well…yeah, I understand…my Cockatiels were shouting as I typed the above, noted as, um…hmm. ironic. So, Hope you forgive me for for being wondering and querying, but, my cockatiells are rescue birds, and cockatiels tend to end up in shelters because of their Very Vocal abilities, and shreikiness in expressing loneliness. Have had other parrots too, and hate too see them mistreated. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/11 "2009-05-26T02:46:03Z")
Have you got a separate dedicated bird room with a door you can close? Have you tried making a reaaallly interesting playstand or rope web festooned with toys and food puzzles? Sometimes they can be eased into self-entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/12 "2009-05-26T03:01:49Z")
Tear up your pilot’s license in front of them. They will take it as a terrible insult and snub you. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/13 "2009-05-26T03:55:36Z")
My parrotlet, if I’m home, he’s on me. He gets pissed when I move; if I leave the vicinity of his cage, sometimes he’ll bite my neck to remind me who’s in charge. If I blow my nose he attacks the handkerchief out of, I assume, jealousy. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-birds-love-me/497586/14 "2009-05-26T12:16:46Z")
> [@elelle](#): > > So, Hope you forgive me for for being wondering and querying, but, my cockatiells are rescue birds, and cockatiels tend to end up in shelters because of their Very Vocal abilities, and shreikiness in expressing loneliness. Oh, yeah - they can just throw their heads back and _howl…!_ Conures, though, make cockatiels look quiet and reserved. I married a man who played bagpipes for a living. Noise I can handle. > [@](#): > > Have had other parrots too, and hate too see them mistreated. Me, too - I can see where if you didn’t know me you might find the OP alarming. The little girl conure was being mischievous last night. I heard my husband mildly scolding her: “No, you can’t have any beer.” “No, you can’t have chocolate” “No swearing at the wife” “No, you can’t have my eyeballs, not until I’m done with using them.” OH, but they’re so _shiny!_ Right now she’s picking dandruff flakes off my scalp while the cockatiels finish their breakfast. It’s good to be loved.