Ooh, good ones. I’ll see if he likes your versions.
(And no, he’s not married. He’s 16).
Another thought. Is there some Merrie Olde England -ish town that sounds much like “Early”?
How about adding yet another groan:
Make it the whirlly (or is that whirly with one ell?) bard gets the wyrm.
All you have to do is have one of your bards stamp and wave his arms, another shout and leap in the air and the third one spin around in circles before killing the dragon.
When your brother joinsthe SCA, make sure he becomes a herald. He’ll fit right in.
How about Earley (also spelled Erleigh or Erlegh)?