# Help my friend out of a strange Facebook paradox **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [September 9, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012 "2014-09-09T20:25:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/1 "2014-09-09T20:25:25Z")
My best friend has a problem. A rew years ago, he became FB friends with the long-estranged mother of his adult daughter. However, she has turned out to be a vitriolic and hateful BFH, leaving nasty and libelous messages for him. It occurred to me today, why not just unfriend her? (my friend is not super familiar with computer stuff.) So I went to do this for him, but she does not appear in his friends list. He says that once when he tried to reply to something she said, FB told him that he was not able to respond. I think what must have happened is that she has blocked him, leaving him in the unenviable position of being connected to her in such a way that she can blast him with hate at will, but he cannot unfriend or block her. Is there a way out of this? ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/2 "2014-09-09T20:28:38Z")
> [@brujaja](#): > > My best friend has a problem. A rew years ago, he became FB friends with the long-estranged mother of his adult daughter. However, she has turned out to be a vitriolic and hateful BFH, leaving nasty and libelous messages for him. > > It occurred to me today, why not just unfriend her? (my friend is not super familiar with computer stuff.) So I went to do this for him, but she does not appear in his friends list. He says that once when he tried to reply to something she said, FB told him that he was not able to respond. I think what must have happened is that she has blocked him, leaving him in the unenviable position of being connected to her in such a way that she can blast him with hate at will, but he cannot unfriend or block her. > > Is there a way out of this? He should be able to block her, friends list or not. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/3 "2014-09-09T20:34:37Z")
Oh- I guess I am not so swift with FB then, either. I assumed that you start with the person, and implement some choice to block. How exactly is it done, please? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/4 "2014-09-09T20:34:50Z")
> [@](#): > > How do I unfriend or remove a friend? > To unfriend someone: > > Go to that person’s profile > Hover over the Friends button at the top of their profile > Select Unfriend > Note: If you choose to unfriend someone, you’ll be removed from that person’s friends list as well. If you want to be friends with this person again, you’ll need to send a new friend request. > [@](#): > > How do I block someone? > To block someone: > > Click at the top right of any Facebook page. > Click How do I stop someone from bothering me? > Enter the name or email address of the person you want to block and click Block. > If you entered a name, select the specific person you want to block from the list that appears. > People will not be notified when you block them. > > If you can’t find someone using this method, try going to the person’s profile and selecting Block from the menu on their cover photo. > > If you still can’t find the person you want to block, it’s possible that this person no longer uses Facebook or has restricted their privacy settings. Keep in mind that you can always control the audience of stuff you share. > [@](#): > > How do I unfollow someone? > > To unfollow someone, go to their profile and click to uncheck the Following button. Friends won’t know if you’ve chosen to unfollow them. > [@](#): > > What is blocking? What happens when I block someone? > You can block someone to unfriend them and prevent them from starting conversations with you or seeing things you post on your profile. > > People you block can no longer: > See things you post on your profile > Tag you > Invite you to events or groups > Start a conversation with you > Add you as a friend > Blocking is reciprocal, so you also won’t be able to do things like start a conversation with them or add them as a friend. Keep in mind that blocking someone may not prevent all communications or interactions, such as in apps or groups, and only affects your experience on Facebook, not elsewhere on the web. > > Note: Removing a block will not restore the friend connection. If you block a friend and then remove that person from your block list, you’ll need to send them a new friend request. If none of that works, you can try getting facebook involved. My conversations have an option to report spam or abuse that he could try. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/5 "2014-09-09T20:37:41Z")
> **[Log into Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/settings?tab=blocking)** > > Log into Facebook to start sharing and connecting with your friends, family, and people you know. Go to Settings, choose Block, add facebook name or e-mail in box The above is what I copied from my address bar when at that point ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/6 "2014-09-09T20:43:01Z")
Wow, thanks! Worked perfectly! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/7 "2014-09-09T20:44:04Z")
He can also set his account so that only Friends can reply to his non-public posts, then set his post options so the posts only go to Friends. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/8 "2014-09-09T20:45:16Z")
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. At least by allowing her to continue sending him messages he will have the evidence of intent, when his house is burned down. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/9 "2014-09-09T20:50:03Z")
This goes into IMHO territory now, but I subscribe to the mindset that Facebook friend stuff is not any sort of contract. I can come and go at will. So can they. We are not bound by someone’s wanting to interact with us on social media. Heck, I even block some numbers _on my phone_ ymmv ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/10 "2014-09-10T00:08:48Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. At least by allowing her to continue sending him messages he will have the evidence of intent, when his house is burned down. Even better would be to have all of her messages routed to an automatic response mechanism that gives her the impression of engagement while being completely invisible to him. It would keep her distracted for years. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2014, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-friend-out-of-a-strange-facebook-paradox/698012/11 "2014-09-11T03:29:52Z")
> [@susan](#): > > He can also set his account so that only Friends can reply to his non-public posts, then set his post options so the posts only go to Friends. This is the reason for the asymmetry, most likely. He allows everyone to post; she allows only friends to post. He can either change his global setting, or block her specifically. I confess I’m annoyed when someone comments on a post and I’d like to comment too, but I’m not allowed. But hey, it’s a free internetz.