# Help my future child not get beat up on the playground. (A Baby Name Poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483 "2004-10-21T20:32:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/1 "2004-10-21T20:32:30Z")
As some of you make know **ShadiRoxan** is about 4 months pregnant with what we assume to be a normal human… or as normal as can be expected, considering its parents. Since we both have rather strong opinions on that whole linguistic pigeonholing activity known as naming, we’ve been unable to come to any firm agreement on what to call him or her. So, your job, gentle Dopers, should you choose to accept it, is twofold. First, review the following list of names and make whatever comments about them you feel compelled to make about your impression of them. Second, if you wish, is to suggest names. Zakary Milo Ajax Tymaz Lela Jasher Darya Keira Erlyn Xerxes ---
**Author:** ![Mithril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mithril/32/3517_2.png) [@Mithril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mithril)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/2 "2004-10-21T20:42:48Z")
Oh, dear. Maybe Lela, Darya, or Keira for a girl and Zakary for a boy wouldn’t get your future baby beaten up. Are you really serious about this list? Xerxes? Unfortunately, you seem to like unusual names, and those are the ones that will get a kid beaten up. How about giving a more commonplace first name and an unusual middle name? ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/3 "2004-10-21T20:43:00Z")
I reviewed your list, and realized that because I cringe at the thought of any of those names, nothing I suggest will be acceptable to you. Sorry. Good luck with the whole name thing, and may I suggest karate lessons, beginning in pre-school, for your progeny. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/4 "2004-10-21T20:45:05Z")
My comments: Zakary - weird spelling, DLI Milo - Good name for cartoon character, otherwise, DLI Ajax - Good name for a cleaning product or town, but DLI Tymaz - not a name, DLI Lela - Not a bad name Jasher - Sounds like a name an adolescent would bestow on their Final Fantasy character, DLI Darya - “Dare ya?” What are ya getting him/her into? Keira - Kee-ra. Ky-ra. Kay-ra. Just too hard. DLI Erlyn - Had to double-check the subject. You remember asking about names that would NOT result in beatings, right? Xerxes - Child abuse! \*DLI = don’t like it My suggestions: Amy Tyler James Sarah Elizabeth Michael McChild (c’mon…it’s no worse than “Xerxes”) Jennifer John ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/5 "2004-10-21T20:47:59Z")
Ajax and Xerxes look like trouble to me. And why “Zakary,” instead of “Zachary.” If you use the standard spelling you’ll probably save your kid a significant chunk of his life that can be spent on something other than saying, “No it’s actually spelled…” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/6 "2004-10-21T20:49:03Z")
What **Mithril** said, right down to the “Oh, dear.” I know someone who goes by Amadeo to his family, and John to the rest of the world. I think the common first name, unusual middle name is good. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Girl)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/7 "2004-10-21T20:51:30Z")
1. Spelling is extremely important. Just search for threads wherein numerous dopers complain about incessent misspelling of their names. 2. Pronunciation is important and accompanies spelling. Consider that if it’s not spelled how it sounds or pronounced how its spelled, there’s going to be a problem. 3. The unusualness of a name will always get a kid teased. Not saying it’s fair, but if that’s your primary concern, Xerxes is probably not a great idea. That is unless hundreds of thousands of people start naming their child Xerxes too. 4. Any name that is also a body part or some other ‘unseemly’ item will cause grief earlier in years, but not so much as an adult, I would imagine. If any Dicks care to disagree, I’m willing to amend by statement, however. 5. Also, names that can be shortened to nicknames may be resented. When Joey is older, he may hate being called Joey. Personally, I prefer names that can’t be shortened. OTOH, if you choose a shortened version as the legal name, people may insist that your child’s name is really the longer version, much you kiddo’s chagrin. 6. Traditionally masculine names for girls, or worse, trad. fem. names for boys are asking for trouble. Again, not saying it’s right, but… 7. Interesting list. My opinion: give your kiddo the name that you appreciate and establish your reasons. We all eventually get over whatever damage kids cause, and if there’s a significant reason you chose one name for your child, s/he may appreciate the meaningfulness of it. In that case, pick it yourself! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Martha\_Medea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@Martha\_Medea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martha_Medea)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/8 "2004-10-21T20:57:00Z")
These are the only two I would consider. **Milo** , in homage to the hero of the Phantom Tollbooth and my four year old son’s favourite Tweenie / **M.** “Why is he your favourite? Is he like you?” \*\*S. \*\* “No, :rolleyes: Mum, he’s _purple_.”/ **Lela** : that one - or a variation like Leila - I quite like and would be on my list of possible girls’ names. If my son had been a girl we would have called her **Maia**. His name is\*\* Lucas\*\*. ---
**Author:** ![lightingtool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/57b2e6/32.png) [@lightingtool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lightingtool)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/9 "2004-10-21T20:59:03Z")
After reading your list, my first thought was my favorite road sign of all time: [Zzyzx Road](http://wordways.com/zzyzx.htm). All the names on your list seem to be leaning towards the type that will get a kid beat up on a playground, if such a name-to-beatings-received correlation actually exists. (My name’s Dan, so what do I know.) Basically, I agree with **Cinnamon Girl**. ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/10 "2004-10-21T21:01:07Z")
Is there a particular reason why you and **ShadiRoxan** chose the names that you did? Are they family names, names from your respective ethnic backgrounds, or names of people you admire? **Zakary** – spelled Zachary, it’s a nice name. Is this spelling unusual for any reason, or just because you like ‘k’ more than ‘ch’? **Milo** – “Milo & Otis”. No thanks. Similar names: Miles, Michael. **Ajax** – Er, no thanks, unless you have a very good reason. **Tymaz** – What culture is this from? It sounds Persian to me. \*\*Lela \*\* – nice name. Also consider Leila. **Jasher** – ditto **Standup Karmic**. **Darya** – not bad. **Keira** – did Keira Knightley have some deep impact on your life? No? Then, no. **Erlyn** – save it for a goldfish. **Xerxes** – better middle name. ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/11 "2004-10-21T21:01:44Z")
> [@1010011010](#): > > Zakary > Milo > Ajax > Tymaz > Lela > Jasher > Darya > Keira > Erlyn > Xerxes Hmmmm … Towards the goal of avoiding unnecessary childhood abuse from a given name, you’ll have to hold your nose and go conventional. Some other kids will just happen to have your conventionally-named child’s name. Small price to pay, me thinks – but this is a decision you’ll have to ultimately make yourself. From your list, I am used to “Zakary”, as I attended school with two guys named “Zachary”. If you go with that name, consider whether or not there is a compelling reason to go with the “k” spelling. My opinion is that mere individuality is not enough of a reason to spell a name in a unique way – YMMV. “Lela” works for me even though it is pretty unique. “Darya” would be fine if spelled “Daria”. Just my opinions. People value different things in life, and I readily concede to not having much of an individualistic streak. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/12 "2004-10-21T21:05:03Z")
I’d definitely go with Xerxes. If not, and it’s a boy, then you _must_ go with Agamemnon. Wally or Fidgit are also good. For a girl, I’d go with Amber, Jade, Cheyenne or Crystal. Any rock, really. Ebony if appropriate. Names of expensive cars are also good. Think Porsche (Portia, Porshe), Mercedes, Lexus, Hummer. ---
**Author:** ![kevja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/aeb1de/32.png) [@kevja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevja)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/13 "2004-10-21T21:06:16Z")
Zakary – good, but I prefer it spelled Zackary Milo – sounds like an old person. Ajax – sink cleaner Tymaz – I think Timex. Keeps on tickin’ Lela – saloon keeper, like Miss Kitty on “Gunsmoke” Jasher – my first though was, and Donner and Blitzen. but it’s kind of cool. Darya – meh Keira – OK, is it pronounced Keye ra, or Keer a Erlyn – Like Merlin, not so sure. Xerxes – put my Xanax script in the Xerox machine. I like names that are a little more conventional. Laura, Carrie, Holley for a girl. Keith, Roger, Jack, Frank for boys. But if I ever had kids I would be tempted to name them Jevin, Devin, Tevin, just to match my name. Too cornaball though. ---
**Author:** ![MsPrufrock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@MsPrufrock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsPrufrock)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/14 "2004-10-21T21:11:03Z")
I like Lela, Darya, Keira and Zachary w/o the “k”. Some of the other names aren’t bad but they are unusual enough that your child will either live up to them or be crushed under them. My friends have a theory on the benefits of unique names. I have a fairly unusual name myself (although more and more young children seem to be running around with it) and I hated it as a child. It was awful. I was the tallest child at school, had braces, glasses, and breasts years before anyone else did and the kicker was my name - a beer-selling dog on tv had my name. I just wanted to be a Jennifer or a Lisa. But now that I’m grown I like my name. I have only ever had one class (my final semester in college) where a girl had the same name as myself. When I was a freshman in college I checked the campus directory and out of 36,000 not one had my name. Pretty darn cool! So what I’m getting at is an odd name builds character. I didn’t get teased to tears too often (but that could have been for the full foot of height I had some of the kids). I wouldn’t trade my uncommon name for anything now. Although it is frustrated to introduce myself with the caveat “–yes, that is my first name.” And now that I’m done babbling a few more suggestions: Ella Alexandra Theodore Chloe Abigail Joseph ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/15 "2004-10-21T21:12:31Z")
Your list is sooooo bad that I suspect we’re being whooshed a bit. Anyway, I agree with the others – Zachary and Lela okay; everything else - sign up for self defense class now. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/16 "2004-10-21T21:14:47Z")
For what it’s worth, being a mom of a child who is ‘doomed’ by a bad name ;), I will be honest with you as I wanted people to be with me. Zakary - it’s not spelled right. Spelled correctly it’s a nice name. When I see mispelled names, my first impression is that the parents are young and possibly uneducated. Milo - My first thought: Milo and Otis. Ajax - You can not be serious. Tymaz - A life long of “Tas the Tasmanian Devil”. Other than that I don;t care much for it. Lela - eh Jasher - Don’t care for it. Darya - reminds me of the Mtv cartoon. Keira - I think Kyrie is much niftier. I don’t think so, but are you pronouncing this: Key-ah-rah? If so, it’s mispelled. I’m thinking it’s Key-rah, right? Erlyn - Sounds like Erleene. Xerxes - See comment on Ajax. ---
**Author:** ![Standup\_Karmic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Standup\_Karmic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Standup_Karmic)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/17 "2004-10-21T21:17:47Z")
> [@MsPrufrock](#): > > my name - a beer-selling dog on tv had my name Your name is [Spuds](http://www.bullterrierdallas.com/spudgirl.htm)? How unfortunate! Then again, at least it’s not _Xerxes_! ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/18 "2004-10-21T21:20:22Z")
I don’t really like any of those names minus Keira, Zackary, and Darya but I still wouldn’t use those names either. Keira because I would expect it to be trendy due to Keira Knightley and the other two because I do not like creative misspellings. (I assume Darya is Daria). I have no names to suggest to you other than a handful of names I like which, sadly, are also trendy at the moment. I like anglicized Celtic names like Ian, Collin, Colm, Errol, Sean, etc but it seems like they’re all the rage right now much to my chagrin. Maybe if I ever have a kid, the names will be relatively uncommon again and I can name my child without having to worry he’ll have a ton of peers with the same name. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/19 "2004-10-21T21:21:16Z")
> [@Cinnamon Girl](#): > > 1. Spelling is extremely important. Just search for threads wherein numerous dopers complain about incessent misspelling of their names. > > 2. Pronunciation is important and accompanies spelling. Consider that if it’s not spelled how it sounds or pronounced how its spelled, there’s going to be a problem. > > 3. The unusualness of a name will always get a kid teased. Not saying it’s fair, but if that’s your primary concern, Xerxes is probably not a great idea. That is unless hundreds of thousands of people start naming their child Xerxes too. > > 4. Any name that is also a body part or some other ‘unseemly’ item will cause grief earlier in years, but not so much as an adult, I would imagine. If any Dicks care to disagree, I’m willing to amend by statement, however. > > 5. Also, names that can be shortened to nicknames may be resented. When Joey is older, he may hate being called Joey. Personally, I prefer names that can’t be shortened. OTOH, if you choose a shortened version as the legal name, people may insist that your child’s name is really the longer version, much you kiddo’s chagrin. > > 6. Traditionally masculine names for girls, or worse, trad. fem. names for boys are asking for trouble. Again, not saying it’s right, but… I agree with all but #5. A name that can be shortened allows the child to choose his own name to an extent. Jonathan can be Jon or Jonny or several others. This is a GOOD thing. There was some study once that showed that giving a child a gender- confused name leads to problems later on. As for spelling- please god don’t give them a name that will have to be spelled every single damn time. Don’t. Please! ☹ Listen to me on this. There is no name that can’t be made fun of. Just don’t make it easy on the bullies, OK? Zakary- spell it right, and it’s OK. “Zach” is a nice nickname. Milo- not so bad, I kinda like it. Yes, it comes from a book- a great book, so… Ajax- could be worse. Tymaz- oh god no. Lela- Ok for a girl Jasher- NOOOOOOOO!!! Darya- Umm, no. Keira- OK, but the spelling… Erlyn- No way!! Xerxes- Oh for pities sakes no! Why not just tattoo “beat me please” on his forehead? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2004, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483/20 "2004-10-21T21:28:23Z")
The contrarian in me says follow the advice of uncle Shelby; if a boy then “Sue.” You have to think long term about these things. Weigh a few bloody beatings in first grade against a lifetime of knowing how to defend one’s self. I have to be honest and say that all names on your list, with the possible exception of Lela, would be bad choices. IMO you are playing a cruel joke on a kid to give them a name that stands out or has weird spelling. If you want to take something and make it more exotic then tie die a poodle and perform home plastic surgery on it. That would be far less cruel than providing an excuse for your child’s classmates to taunt him with “Xerxes Jerksies,” I’m really glad my grandpa was named Steve and not one of the weirder biblical names. He was named after his dad which was probably an uncommon name in 1862. I really like the name Lela. Mind you I like it because I think Turonga Lela is possibly the cutest purple haired cyclops to ever appear in a prime time cartoon. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-my-future-child-not-get-beat-up-on-the-playground-a-baby-name-poll/270483.md?page=2)