# Help Needed -- Evil Coworker Needs Comeuppance! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687 "2004-04-12T23:32:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/41 "2004-04-13T16:10:49Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > A :cough: roomate of mine once filled out a change-of-address form (at the post office) for his nemesis. Caused a marvelous shitstorm of missed/overdue bills (so I heard :)) IANAL, but… Unfortunately this constitutes fraud. Each change of address form contains the phrase “Anyone submitting false or inaccurate information on this form is subject to punishment by fine or imprisonment or both under Sections 2, 1001, 1702 and 1708 of Title 18, United States Code.” Do with this information what you will. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/42 "2004-04-13T16:14:43Z")
I swear I posted that last one right after **slortar**. Sorry **The Devil’s Grandmother**. Didn’t mean to Myna bird you. I think my hamster had a seizure… ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/43 "2004-04-13T16:20:25Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > Poop on her tummy. Hah! ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/44 "2004-04-13T16:42:17Z")
If she keeps her perfume bottle where you can get at it, pour out the contents and replace with, uh, “toilet” water. No, I don’t _really_ recommend that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/45 "2004-04-13T16:50:03Z")
Oh it’s fun to read all these ideas, I am enjoying it. But I know that Eve has it right. Remember that old adage; When you get down in the mud to wrestle with a pig, remember, you both get dirty -----but the pig has FUN ! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/46 "2004-04-13T16:55:55Z")
A particular pill in my office is leaving (sadly, not the Pwincess Pwecious), and we all signed a card. I wrote, “Wishing you all the happiness you deserve.” Let her chew on _that_. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/47 "2004-04-13T16:56:56Z")
> [@Master Wang-Ka](#): > > Your best case scenario is to drive her crazy wondering when your revenge will happen… and to credit YOU with it when her karma finally catches up to her… I would like to nominate you for the SDMB **Head screwed on tightest, but not so tight you’re a raving loon** award. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/48 "2004-04-13T17:06:38Z")
Put Nair in her jock. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/49 "2004-04-13T17:09:41Z")
Oreo her car. It’s quick, it’s painless, and it’s impossible to dust for an oreo. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/50 "2004-04-13T17:10:52Z")
Not only is changing someone else’s address probably illegal, but they request picture ID to change an address as well. Well, Canada Post does, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/51 "2004-04-13T17:12:10Z")
Wish I could say that these rotten kind of people usually get what they deserve, but personally I have never seen it. I _have_ however seen them get raises, promotions, etc. _sigh_ :rolleyes: Of course, some people subscribe to the school of thought that my S.O. does: karmic justice doesn’t just take care of itself… maybe it’s YOUR turn to be the instrument of karma, and see that balance is kept in the universe 😃 With that in mind, I submit to you this website [http://www.dogdoo.com](http://www.dogdoo.com) (Might I suggest the “Poo Poo Grande”?) 😉 I can just visualize this being delivered to someone at their office, beautifully wrapped, maybe with a large, attention-getting balloon attached to it. Of course, _everyone_ would want to know what she got, and what the occassion was! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/52 "2004-04-13T17:13:20Z")
> [@GaWd](#): > > Also, I’d like to add that clear tape on the hookswitch of the phone will confound her for an extended period of time 🙂 Unfortunately, clear tape is not all that clear. Not nearly as invisible as, say, crazy glue. I also recommend surprising her with lunch. Sashimi might be especially yummy. Put a little post-it note on it saying something about letting bygones be bygones, thank you for being so helpful, etc. So that no other coworker is tempted to steal it, squirrel it away in a drawer that you know that she doesn’t use. Lock it if possible. Here’s one I heartily **do not** recommend. Do not, under any circumstances, do this. It will get you arrested. If you say I told you to do it, I will get arrested. I hereby renounce any and all responsibility for the forthcoming revenge: If you know she’s going on a plane trip soon, and bringing her laptop with her, write a little startup program that relaces her Windows bootup. It should display a clock counting down, just below the words “Time until detonation.” Airport security will get a big laugh out of it. Those guys are known for their sense of humor. “Ha ha, good one!”, they’ll say as they let her into the gate area. EC will get a kick out of it, too. If you do this. Which you will not. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/53 "2004-04-13T17:15:56Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Not only is changing someone else’s address probably illegal, but they request picture ID to change an address as well. Well, Canada Post does, anyway. Maybe in Canadia, they do. Here in the US, it’s usually a matter of filling out a form and mailing it. ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/54 "2004-04-13T17:17:22Z")
Limburger (sp?) cheese smeared on the underside of her car engine would make for a funky smellin’ drive home. That cheese reeks when it gets warm! I also agree with **Eve** , be so sweet to her that sugar wouldn’t melt in your mouth. It burns them up when they know they haven’t pushed your buttons the way that they had hoped 😉 As my mom always said _they keep doing it because you react so beautifully_ ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/55 "2004-04-13T17:21:37Z")
They sell concentrated Coyote pee to repel deer from gardens. Dump some under her desk, or on her chair, or in her car. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/56 "2004-04-13T17:28:22Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Here’s one I heartily **do not** recommend. Do not, under any circumstances, do this. It will get you arrested. If you say I told you to do it, I will get arrested. I hereby renounce any and all responsibility for the forthcoming revenge: If you know she’s going on a plane trip soon, and bringing her laptop with her, write a little startup program that relaces her Windows bootup. It should display a clock counting down, just below the words “Time until detonation.” Airport security will get a big laugh out of it. Those guys are known for their sense of humor. “Ha ha, good one!”, they’ll say as they let her into the gate area. EC will get a kick out of it, too. If you do this. Which you will not. > > Ever. I can’t remember if you’re a level headed dude or not, because there are too many people around here, but I have a question. What was the point of even mentioning that? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/57 "2004-04-13T17:33:19Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > I can’t remember if you’re a level headed dude or not, because there are too many people around here, but I have a question. > > What was the point of even mentioning that? Just feeding a revenge fantasy is all. ---
**Author:** ![MysticMilt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@MysticMilt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysticMilt)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/58 "2004-04-13T17:33:31Z")
Three things you could try. Two innoccuous, one malicious but fun. 1. Assuming she’s not using an optical mouse, clear tape on the mouse ball will have most people flailing about madly, trying to get the cursor to move. 2. While she’s away from her desk, do a screen capture of whatever it is she’s working on using the print screen button. Save the image, and then expand the image to take up the whole screen. Again with the flailing. and for the really mean thing… I’ve been told that for true revenge one should piss on the person’s radiator/grill of their car (or pour a cup of piss on, if anatomy restricts direct pissing). The stale urine smell will haunt them every time they turn on the air conditioning, and it will be only worse in the wintertime when they have the heat on. Heh. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/59 "2004-04-13T17:33:58Z")
He probably posted it in the tongue-in-cheek fashion that many other posters have been…Worldy, is your humor bone broken this morning? Sam ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687/60 "2004-04-13T17:38:06Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve been told that for true revenge one should piss on the person’s radiator/grill of their car (or pour a cup of piss on, if anatomy restricts direct pissing). The stale urine smell will haunt them every time they turn on the air conditioning, and it will be only worse in the wintertime when they have the heat on. Heh. Hate to bust a myth, but this one is false. THe smell of your radiator has no effect on what you smell inside your car. Your radiator sees some ugly shit on the roadway…tar, oil, grease, bugs, animals, rain, crap, dirt, Etc. If all of that affected smell of the HVAC, we’d all be in a world of hurt… It might smell a bit on the outside until the first rains came… Sam [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-needed-evil-coworker-needs-comeuppance/239687.md?page=4)