# Help nickname my dingdong! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 26, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764 "2007-02-26T20:20:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/1 "2007-02-26T20:20:44Z")
My question is my cite, No, really though, I’ve come to that age where I’m thinking about a proper name for my penis. Very soon I’m probably going to be introducing it to a wide variety of pleasure receptacles, so I think it’s only natural that it has a name. I’m a huge fan of Homestar so my first thought was Trogdor, but then I remembered that he’s also called “The Burninator” and that is something I _definitely_ do not want to associate with my love toy. It must be something masculine, of course, but I want something creative also. Thus, Smasher, Destroyer, and The Fonz, are out. (Heeeeyyyy) You know what. My real surname is John, and my ex-GF always used to call it “Little John.” My ex-GF was Japanese and had never seen Robin Hood, but I actually kinda liked it. Little… but actually really big. Has a sexy baritone voice and what-not. There’s nothing really unusual about my penis that I could give it a descriptive nickname. Length is average, maybe it’s a little thicker than the usual. I for one certainly enjoy it at least. Ok, I think I’ve said enough. toodle-loo, Autolycus ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/2 "2007-02-26T20:27:24Z")
Trunk. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/3 "2007-02-26T20:34:01Z")
Happy. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/4 "2007-02-26T20:40:22Z")
Gruntsperkle. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/5 "2007-02-26T20:40:34Z")
Juggernaut Conan Princess Sophia… tbh I don’t call my penis anything and it’s been introduced to a number of “Pleasure receptacles” (Band name?) in its time. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/6 "2007-02-26T20:43:44Z")
The Heat-Seeking Moisture Missile? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/7 "2007-02-26T20:45:00Z")
Little Richard ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/8 "2007-02-26T20:45:26Z")
You should always address it as “Sir.” After all, it’s giving the orders even though it has to stand at attention. Actually, it gives orders _especially_ when it’s standing at attention. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/9 "2007-02-26T20:46:33Z")
One-eyed Peter. ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/10 "2007-02-26T20:48:19Z")
Either of Richard or John Thomas Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/11 "2007-02-26T20:48:51Z")
Fetusmaker. > [@enigm4tic](#): > > tbh I don’t call my penis anything and it’s been introduced to a number of “Pleasure receptacles” (Band name?) in its time. Same. To be honest I always thought it was a little immature, and not having a name for it certainly hasn’t detracted from its ability to find pleasure receptacles. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/12 "2007-02-26T21:07:32Z")
Frodo. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/13 "2007-02-26T21:09:51Z")
Cyclops ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/14 "2007-02-26T21:15:00Z")
Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Dervorin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Dervorin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dervorin)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/15 "2007-02-26T21:15:49Z")
Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong? 😃 Sorry, no suggestions forthcoming from me. I must confess that for one who names all his toys (computer, camera, car…) I’ve never thought to give my penis a nickname. Perhaps someday I will meet someone who will do this for me, and then I will know she’s The One. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/16 "2007-02-26T21:40:22Z")
How about [your junk](http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0418.html)? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/17 "2007-02-26T21:47:16Z")
I would be inclined to keep the name Little John. Failing that, there’s always [Mr. Pickle](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8143657&postcount=22). ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/18 "2007-02-26T21:50:18Z")
Why do men have to name it, anyway? Learn to use it well, and nobody cares what you call it. Well, ok, I’d probably care if I heard you calling it “Mom”. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/19 "2007-02-26T22:00:55Z")
Heh… I’ve got just the thing. [QUOTE=enigm4tic] Princess Sophia… [/QUOTE] D’oh! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2007, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764/20 "2007-02-26T22:02:59Z")
Winky ? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-nickname-my-dingdong/393764.md?page=2)