# Help rename Five! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753 "2001-01-25T18:50:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/1 "2001-01-25T18:50:15Z")
Now that all the hubbub surrounding **slythe** ’s change to **Czarcasm** has died down, I wonder if the 'Dope can turn its attention to my own identity crisis. I’ve been **Five** for some while now, but it’s time for a change. It’s too short, too hard to do a search on (if I want to know if I’m being talked about somewhere), and it doesn’t quite have that certain _je ne say…_ uh, _j’ n’est sai_… that certain _quality_ I’m looking for. So help me choose a new one, y’all! After all, I’m not a very prolific poster, but you’re the ones who have to read my name when I do show up. Let me know your thoughts. Notes: **Glenn Five** is one I’m considering. That’s actually my stage name, and is also my name over at snopes. **Five** is really just an abbreviation of this. **Possible Joe** is another idea, and my current favorite. It’s an obscure children’s literature reference. **Chicken of Bristol** will not under any circumstances be considered. Going into this, I have an automatic bias toward anything **Eve** suggests, if anything. Just so’s y’all know. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/2 "2001-01-25T18:54:47Z")
Six? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/3 "2001-01-25T19:09:49Z")
How about **Distressing**? It would add further credibility to your signature. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/4 "2001-01-25T19:35:47Z")
How about: Wax Tadpole Abebe Bicola Fivantor Valley Peach Pheidippides ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/5 "2001-01-25T19:44:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Five \* > **Chicken of Bristol** will not under any circumstances be considered. > \*\* But **evilbeth** will be so disappointed! ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/6 "2001-01-25T20:17:22Z")
**Snooooopy** : Surely **evilbeth** is used to disappointment by now. **Rosebud** : You’re so linear. **Mjollnir** : Good ideas, but I’m not sure I can use any of them. I don’t actually work for that beverage company, so “Wax Tadpole” isn’t appropriate. I don’t understand your next two. “Valley Peach” sounds a little too girly. “Pheidippides” would be terrific, only I’m afraid it would jinx me, and I’d never run another marathon (the original Pheidippides only ran one, you know). **Sofa King** , I am sure I don’t know what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/7 "2001-01-25T20:34:18Z")
I think **Scabby Monkey** would be a lovely username. It definitely has _je ne said quoi_. If you want some connection to your previous name, you could be: **Pair of Fives** **Five Card Stud** Also, I hear that **slythe** is now available… ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/8 "2001-01-25T20:42:37Z")
Then Abebe Bicola wouldn’t be appropriate, either–a combination of “Abebe Bikila,” the Ethiopian barefoot runner, and the previously-alluded-to beverage company. But c’mon, “Fivinator?” A combination of “Five” and “Terminator” (as another person in the area has done). It might set a trend for others in the area, too. (I can just see “Tubinator,” “Mouthinator,” “Spokinator,” etc.) “Valley Peach?” Yeah, you’re probably right. “Glenn” means “valley,” and the other part should be obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/9 "2001-01-25T21:41:55Z")
Watching Thelonious Monk on _Jazz_ last night, I was reminded of what my mind always insisted on calling him: **Felonious Monk.** Well, **I** liked it! ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/10 "2001-01-25T21:49:52Z")
How about **mouthbreather’s bitch**? I asked Tina. She doesn’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![racerx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5e9695/32.png) [@racerx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racerx)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/11 "2001-01-25T21:56:22Z")
Mock5 😉 or if you are opposed to numerals. . . Mock Five ---
**Author:** ![Oicu812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f475e1/32.png) [@Oicu812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oicu812)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/12 "2001-01-25T22:07:49Z")
O _Sorry, just had to…_ ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/13 "2001-01-25T23:16:36Z")
I thought the typo version of “Fivinator,” which showed up as “Fivantor,” had a nice giant-robot kind of ring to it. Picture it: I am Fivantor! Take me to your leader! Or maybe not 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/14 "2001-01-26T00:17:08Z")
My mind remains open and these are good ideas. I do like the sound of “Fivinator.” Wonder what **Mully** would think of that. **Bumbazine** (incidentally, I love the Walt Kelly reference), you should know that I HATE jazz. **mouthbreather** , that’s very generous of you, but I decline. Heh. If I went with “slythe,” wouldn’t that confuse the hell out of people! Yet, despite all these excellent suggestions, I’m still drawn to my own idea, “Possible Joe.” Does anyone out there catch the reference? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/15 "2001-01-26T01:24:53Z")
Would “Rooster of Bristol” work any better for you? ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/16 "2001-01-26T04:11:45Z")
**Possible Joe** from one of the Danny Dunn books, about a time-machine and an alternate Joe? Go with it, **Five!** ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/17 "2001-01-26T04:20:34Z")
Funf The funfster Slaughterhouse King Cinq Cinq or Swim Cinco Cincopation Five n’ Dime Five Alive Five Glenns and a Chicken Penta-Glenn Quintboy The Five of Pentacles Funfarama Five Weddings and a Bar Mitzvah The Bristol Quintuplets Five of one, Half a dozen minus two Full House V Rocky V IIIII, Claudius 101 just how many goddamn senses do you think there are, anyway? dim(NKOTB) O’Clock Shadow Life Saver Flavours Nickel-boy The Beaver Halfdime bingosqrt 6,7,8,9,10,11,12,doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo Doo! Five! Trigeminal Maxillary Phrenic boy Mandibular Digitmon Gimme Ten Round the Corner There is no number six I am not a number! I am a free man! What is the big idea, number one, wearing my mask? Double-O-Five Hawaii Double-O-Five MTWTF Not exactly big and not exactly little GoldenRing. CallingBird. FrenchHen. TurtleDove. Beer. Fif Fifine Jive That Police Academy where they go do Moscow Kindergarden Cop Finger Discount The cinqstress ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/18 "2001-01-26T10:24:40Z")
Soixante neuf ---
**Author:** ![TheThill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheThill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheThill)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/19 "2001-01-26T10:34:57Z")
How about **Countless**? Btw, is it really that easy to change your name? ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753/20 "2001-01-26T13:57:39Z")
I give my permission for everyone on the board to add -inator to the end of their username. As for a username, I think you should stick with Five. I fear change. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-rename-five/51753.md?page=2)