# Help Summarize Our Knowledge of the Aliens! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 11, 2008, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909 "2008-05-11T11:52:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/21 "2008-05-12T17:24:25Z")
Even though they are a different life form from a different planet they closely resemble people. Two legs, two arms, stand upright, eyes and mouth in the same spot. There are no aliens that look like plants, dogs, elephants, etc. And they are always roughly the same scale as humans. No 1 foot tall aliens and no 12 foot tall aliens. Always somewhere between 4-7 feet. They like to really mess with rural folk knowing that if they ever talk about what they saw they will only be ridiculed. They find this highly amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/22 "2008-05-12T17:30:40Z")
Their preferred food is small rodents, per the tv documentary ‘[V](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V_(TV_series))’. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/23 "2008-05-12T17:31:28Z")
They have come to take our women! ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/24 "2008-05-12T17:57:40Z")
It’s pronounced “Big-boo-tay”! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/25 "2008-05-12T18:02:25Z")
[QUOTE=Amp] All aliens seem to have an odd fetish for probing human anuses. [/QUOTE] Not true, actually. Most of the abduction and anal probing is done by members of the _human_ Evil Community, masquerading as extra-terrestrials, as part of our long quest to find the prophesied hero who will– Um, never mind. Forget I said anything. In fact, use the amnesia ray on yourselves. And by “amnesia ray” I mean “revolver.” ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/26 "2008-05-12T18:13:58Z")
every alien, (whether a little green man with anntenae, or a grey-skinned creature with huge eyes) has a body temperature the same as ours, and they breathe the exact same quantities of oxygen as we do. So they don’t need to wear any special equipment while landing on a foreign planet. (Just like the crew of Star Trek, actually… 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/27 "2008-05-12T18:52:00Z")
One lucky thing about the aliens: they are not the carriers of horrifying diseases that they have long since developed immunity to. All that close contact – anal probing and whatnot – but no one has caught the alien version of smallpox. Whew! Dodged a bullet there. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/28 "2008-05-12T18:58:43Z")
[QUOTE=Hampshire] And they are always roughly the same scale as humans. No 1 foot tall aliens and no 12 foot tall aliens. Always somewhere between 4-7 feet./QUOTE] Not entirely true, as this documentary made clear. Those that are small, however, possess enlargement technology so they can walk among us without being conspicuous. (Once they’ve had their bodies shaved, anyway.) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/29 "2008-05-12T19:01:25Z")
They’re really kinda “meh” on the whole meeting our leaders thing. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/30 "2008-05-12T19:02:32Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] they are not the carriers of horrifying diseases that they have long since developed immunity to. [/QUOTE] Perhaps _they_ die from _our_ diseases ala H.G.Welles. That would explain why they keep coming back; no contact team has lived to return to Alpha Centauri. Simple little contact mission…bunch of primative simians…where the hell _are_ they? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/31 "2008-05-12T19:25:13Z")
There seems to be 100s of different alien species involved, judging by the descriptions given by the victims. Some of these aliens seem to be interested in cross breeding with humanity. Some of these aliens have special messages for humanity, which for some reason can only be expressed to the victims. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/32 "2008-05-12T20:05:39Z")
Aliens are always peaceful, because advanced societies always respect less advanced civilizations, as Earth history has proven. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/33 "2008-05-12T21:51:23Z")
Even when they try to appear in human form, they always seem to screw something up. If they aren’t emotionless vegetables coming out of pods, they have 3 eyes or webbed feet or pointy ears and green blood. In any case, there’s always something subtle that positively identifies them as an alien. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/34 "2008-05-12T23:29:28Z")
[QUOTE=kunilou] Even when they try to appear in human form, they always seem to screw something up. If they aren’t emotionless vegetables coming out of pods, they have 3 eyes or webbed feet or pointy ears and green blood. In any case, there’s always something subtle that positively identifies them as an alien. [/QUOTE] Or they just can’t come to grips with human interaction and act weird while trying to blend in. Those that can, for whatever reason, mate successfully with humans are generally considered great lovers because they have highly developed organs and/or are used to things humans think of as freaky but fun. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2008, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/35 "2008-05-12T23:47:15Z")
Some aliens just want to serve us… ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/36 "2008-07-01T01:06:10Z")
I just found this thread. Please excuse me for posting to something this old, but… All aliens are way bad and nasty and want to take over Earth and kill us, so we must kick their asses. Hard. Like in Indepencence Day. I really think that this is true. Yes, I know I am a crackpot. But just you wait… ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2008, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/37 "2008-07-01T01:11:56Z")
[QUOTE=Mach Tuck] Kang: Stop! We have reached the limit of what we can learn from rectal probing. [/QUOTE] Hey, it’s [just a job](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogXJ7YBb3NE). “Do you know how many people Intergalactic Anal Probing employs?” “All we’ve really learned is that about one in ten really doesn’t mind.” ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/38 "2008-07-01T03:52:13Z")
Their form isn’t constant - it has changed a fair amount over time. It’s much influenced by human media - e.g. after a popular movie, sightings will tend to conform to the movie’s depiction. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/39 "2008-07-07T21:14:42Z")
[QUOTE=Xema] Their form isn’t constant - it has changed a fair amount over time. It’s much influenced by human media - e.g. after a popular movie, sightings will tend to conform to the movie’s depiction. [/QUOTE] Therefore, aliens are all shapeshifters. ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2008, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909/40 "2008-07-07T22:23:21Z")
[QUOTE=photopat] Therefore, aliens are all shapeshifters. [/QUOTE] And, by inference, Humans drew the short end of the shapeshifting evolutionary stick. Clearly, that’s why the aliens are so interested in us- we’re the only sentient species which is stuck in one shape. One can also surmise that the shapeshifting organ is located in the anus… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-summarize-our-knowledge-of-the-aliens/448909.md?page=3)