# Help The Onion **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 2, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774 "2005-09-02T18:49:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/41 "2005-09-03T21:15:26Z")
**Louis Armstrong Releases New Album Entitled _Floatin’ Home._** ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/42 "2005-09-03T22:44:19Z")
**ignored Warnings In Blues Lyrics Slammed** ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/43 "2005-09-03T22:50:47Z")
“Al Queda hijacks submarine - takes out One Shell Square” ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/44 "2005-09-03T23:03:48Z")
**Devil Criticises Blocked Access To Crossroads** ---
**Author:** ![Scruloose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e68b1a/32.png) [@Scruloose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scruloose)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/45 "2005-09-03T23:09:02Z")
**New Orleans destroyed, millions homeless. Geico, however, has some good news.** ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/46 "2005-09-03T23:29:16Z")
**New Orleans - White Person in Looting Shock** ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/47 "2005-09-04T02:12:01Z")
“New Orleans offers great real estate investment opportunities” says expert ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/48 "2005-09-04T02:45:12Z")
**[New Orleans Disaster Predicted By Canadians In 1989](http://www.radioparadise.com/modules.php?name=songinfo&song_id=31046)** **TV Tonight - 8:00** CNN - Larry King Tonight: How Katrina Will Affect The Search For Natalee Halloway Fox News - Katrina: The Clinton Connection Lifetime Movies - Mother, May I Sleep With Danger In The Superdome? Travel Channel - Las Vegas Buffet Secrets #14 HGTV - House Detective: Where Did My Shotgun Shack Float Off To? Before I forget … **The Outside Scoop By Jackie Harvey** **Item!** What do you get when you combine warm water with converging winds that move along the same track as the prevailing wind? **Katrina!** Not **Katrina Leskanich** of **Katrina and the Waves** – you’ll hear about her in next week’s column – but rather a stormy sensation that recently made an appearance in **New Orleans!** On a related note, word has it that **Dennis Quaid** , who starred in **The Big Easy** , made an appearance in the recent film **Flight of the Phoenix**. Bet a lot of soggy people in the Fifth Ward wish they were in Phoenix now, too! ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/49 "2005-09-04T03:25:21Z")
**Area Man Makes It To Crossroads, Sells Soul For Large TV** ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/50 "2005-09-04T03:27:53Z")
> [@Sternvogel](#): > > News Briefs > > **Purdue Assistant Coach Must Change Name, Says NCAA** > > WEST LAFAYETTE, Indiana – Citing a need for sensitivity to victims of the hurricane which recently devastated New Orleans and the Gulf Coast of Mississippi and Alabama, the National Collegiate Athletic Association has demanded that Purdue University assistant women’s basketball coach [Katrina Merriweather](http://purduesports.collegesports.com/sports/w-baskbl/mtt/merriweather_katrina00.html) rename herself something less offensive. “Hurricane Katrina hardly provided merry weather to those who were killed, uprooted, or otherwise affected by the wrath of its wind, rain, and subsequent flooding”, declared NCAA President Myles Brand. “Therefore, we urge that the Boilermakers and their third-year aide work together to find her a name that will not cause offense when the team, or any subsequent one which may employ her, plays against Tulane, the University of New Orleans, or South Alabama.” Failure to comply by November 18, the date of the Boilers’ regular-season opener against Butler, may be met with sanctions including, but not limited to, loss of scholarships and a ban on post-season play. Winner~ ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/51 "2005-09-04T03:32:51Z")
**Fedral Aid Suspended As Louisiana Purchase Declared Illegal: ‘Go Ask The French’, Says Bush** ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/52 "2005-09-04T03:37:29Z")
God, after reading all the bitching on the boards lately and the news I needed this. Thanks guys! **God Goes Back on the Rainbow Covenant.** _Who’s gonna stop me, Buddha?_ ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/53 "2005-09-04T06:08:20Z")
**Neocons Says Hurricane is God’s Punishment For Being Black, Poor.** ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/54 "2005-09-04T17:22:15Z")
**"Have you ever noticed how some black people look almost like Condoleeza?" asks Bush, after seeing them close-up** ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/55 "2005-09-04T17:28:43Z")
**Bush Dons Flight Suit, Addresses Refugees at Astrodome**. Subhead: **“Mission Accomplished”**. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/56 "2005-09-04T22:01:18Z")
**Putin Criticises Rescue Delays, Offers Submarine To Aid** ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/57 "2005-09-04T22:29:16Z")
**Cannibalism Reported Amongst Survivors** Refugees want Tube Steak. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/58 "2005-09-05T04:09:32Z")
**BIGGER DISASTER ON HORIZON:** **NEW ORLEANS HURRICANE INSPIRES CROSSOVER WATERWORLD/BLUES BROTHERS 2000 SEQUEL** ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/59 "2005-09-05T04:49:00Z")
**Bad Weather Makes New Orleans Slightly More Disgusting** ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774/60 "2005-09-05T07:01:19Z")
**Theme of Rawhide heard playing in Superdome.** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-the-onion/319774.md?page=4)