# Help! There's no gorgeous men after me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162 "2002-12-16T20:47:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/1 "2002-12-16T20:47:45Z")
I come to you, the SDMB, for help. If any of you Dopers could help me remedy this problem, I’d be _ever_ so appreciative. Very grateful indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/2 "2002-12-16T20:50:43Z")
I can’t remedy the situation, but I _do_ have the qualifications to join your little club. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/3 "2002-12-16T20:58:44Z")
If In Consequential is anywhere near Mpls, maybe I can be of assistance. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/4 "2002-12-16T21:01:33Z")
Okay **Cosmopolitan** , but you have to be second in line. Deal? After all I’m not only President of this club, but I’m a member too. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/5 "2002-12-16T21:02:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rubes \* > \*\*If In Consequential is anywhere near Mpls, maybe I can be of assistance. \*\* In Consequential is near anywhere you want it to be. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/6 "2002-12-16T21:13:36Z")
/me feels the shiver of delight tingling up his spine! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/7 "2002-12-16T21:21:45Z")
Well, there’re no gorgeous men chasing after me, either… _that I know of…_ so I guess I’m in the club, too. W00t, as they say. ---
**Author:** ![Rug\_Burn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a87d85/32.png) [@Rug\_Burn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rug_Burn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/8 "2002-12-16T21:28:00Z")
Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/9 "2002-12-16T21:29:57Z")
I’m also in the club. Can I be sergeant at arms? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/10 "2002-12-16T21:31:13Z")
What if the gorgeous men have pitchforks and torches? Do you still want them chasing you? ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/11 "2002-12-16T21:33:38Z")
I’ve heard of your little club, and I am most anxious to join. **Zebra** , pitchforks and torches are fine. At least with me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/12 "2002-12-16T21:34:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rubes \* > \*\*/me feels the shiver of delight tingling up his spine! \*\* That tingle won’t be confined just to your spine… **Rug Burn** , we’ll need you to be more specific. Whose back do you have? **amarinth** , you’re not gonna carry…guns or anything are you? We make love, not war, in this club. 😉 **Zebra** , you already know the answer to that. Definitely. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/13 "2002-12-16T21:39:08Z")
Hummmmmm **Lsura, jazzmine** some pitchforks and torches and me. A guy could have a pretty good time Vegas with that. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/14 "2002-12-16T21:39:21Z")
Wait, am I too late? I make some great oatmeal raisin cookies, if that helps sway opinion enough to let me join. Because I’m definitely lacking in the georgeous-men-chasing-after-me department. ---
**Author:** ![Rug\_Burn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a87d85/32.png) [@Rug\_Burn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rug_Burn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/15 "2002-12-16T21:48:30Z")
Psst, jazzmine, turn around. \<- \<- \<- ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/16 "2002-12-16T21:52:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rug Burn \* > **Psst, jazzmine, turn around.** _shiver_ ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/17 "2002-12-16T21:58:22Z")
what a delightfully almost naughty tease of a thread, says rubes as he struts down the catwalk ---
**Author:** ![Rug\_Burn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a87d85/32.png) [@Rug\_Burn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rug_Burn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/18 "2002-12-16T22:03:02Z")
Is that shiver- cold, shiver- freaked out, or shiver- excited. Any response can be dealt with. You can borrow my jacket, I could take off the mask, and, well… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/19 "2002-12-16T22:03:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jazzmine \* > \*\ ***amarinth** , you’re not gonna carry…guns or anything are you? We make love, not war, in this club. 😉 > \*\* I think (I’ve never been s-a-a, I just think it’s a cool title) that I get to be in charge of general order and equipment. So if gorgeous men do decide to chase us, directing the chase to appropriate field conditions. And making sure that pitchforks are as pointy (or unpointy) as the person being chased wishes them to be, or that any other equipment is ready and available for those members who may wish to use it. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/20 "2002-12-16T22:04:33Z")
_thinks about whistling at **rubes** but then realized that would sort of defeat the purpose of the “after me” part of “There’s no gorgeous men after me.”_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162.md?page=2)