# Help! There's no gorgeous men after me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162 "2002-12-16T20:47:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/21 "2002-12-16T22:04:44Z")
mmm… cookies… ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/22 "2002-12-16T22:07:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rug Burn \* > \*\*Is that shiver- cold, shiver- freaked out, or shiver- excited. Any response can be dealt with. You can borrow my jacket, I could take off the mask, and, well… 😉 \*\* Excited of course. 🙂 Definitely excited. _wonders what’s under the mask_ ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/23 "2002-12-16T22:08:28Z")
You won’t sucker me in, as soon as I start chasing, you’ll all run in different directions. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/24 "2002-12-16T22:08:34Z")
I’ll volunteer to chase any ladies that need it - I may not be 100% gorgeous, but I _do_ have an English accent. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/25 "2002-12-16T22:11:44Z")
Okay, now I’ll have to just swoon. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/26 "2002-12-16T22:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eunoia \* > \*\*You won’t sucker me in, as soon as I start chasing, you’ll all run in different directions. 😛 \*\* Or they’ll all _stop,_ and then where would you be? ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/27 "2002-12-16T22:41:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*Or they’ll all _stop,_ and then where would you be? \*\* In the driver’s seat? Yesssss.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/28 "2002-12-16T22:42:16Z")
Hey! No swooning! You’ll miss all the fun 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/29 "2002-12-16T22:43:22Z")
Let’s see… Torches? Check. Pitchfork? Check. Tranquilizer darts? Check. Running shoes? Check. Light supper and a bottle of wine? Check. Massage oils? Check. Okay, who wants to be chased first? ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/30 "2002-12-16T22:50:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Let’s see… > > Torches? Check. > Pitchfork? Check. > Tranquilizer darts? Check. > Running shoes? Check. > Light supper and a bottle of wine? Check. > Massage oils? Check. > > Okay, who wants to be chased first? \*\* Well, I think I’m the 6th lass to apply for membership (if I counted correctly). I would love to be chased first by **Monstre** but I probably have to wait my turn. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/31 "2002-12-16T22:56:17Z")
I want a cute guy to chase after me too. I haven’t had that in awhile. _pouts_ ---
**Author:** ![Rug\_Burn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a87d85/32.png) [@Rug\_Burn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rug_Burn)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/32 "2002-12-16T23:04:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jazzmine \* > \*\*Excited of course. 🙂 Definitely excited. > > _wonders what’s under the mask_ \*\* All in good time fair jazzmine. Let me lay my jacket on the ground so you can get comfortable, as I pour you a glass of wine ( sorry, Boone’s Farm is all I caould find at this hour). ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/33 "2002-12-16T23:10:10Z")
**jazzmine** , if I offer you access to the Mensa Cabana Boys, can I join the club? While they’re not physically gorgeous, (Shhh! Don’t tell them that!) they are intelligent, witty and think intelligence is sexy. They are also required to bring drinks on command and give massages, specializing in one body part. Yes, they’re real! Why do you think I joined in the first place? Yes, we can arrange to have one shipped to Consequential. Oh yes, you can also have all the gorgeous men who aren’t chasing me, either. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/34 "2002-12-16T23:21:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > \*\*I’ll volunteer to chase any ladies that need it - I may not be 100% gorgeous, but I _do_ have an English accent. \*\* Well, as long as you promise to say _naughty_ often (at least twice a day), then it doesn’t matter what you look like. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![cherry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/35 "2002-12-16T23:32:15Z")
I submit cherries on a platter for your inspection. \*\* jazzmine can I join your club too?\*\* I will wait my turn, being 7th in line ( I think). ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/36 "2002-12-16T23:42:30Z")
My fools folly. I always thought **Ethilrist** was a guy. When you look at the name you realise it ain’t so. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2002, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/37 "2002-12-16T23:43:31Z")
I meant dammit in a good way, mind you. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/38 "2002-12-17T00:17:37Z")
**Jazzmine** says: \<\< Help! There’s no _gorgeous_ men after me! \>\> Well, hon, you know I’m after you. … Plus a few others in your little club. _ **ponders momentarily** _ Ok, I get it. … I’ll just stand over here out of the way. ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/39 "2002-12-17T00:36:37Z")
Oh no you don’t, **Jim**. No standing in the corner. Active pursuit is all that’s required of you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/40 "2002-12-17T00:38:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rug Burn \* > \*\*All in good time fair jazzmine. Let me lay my jacket on the ground so you can get comfortable, as I pour you a glass of wine ( sorry, Boone’s Farm is all I caould find at this hour). \*\* Boone’s Farm? That’ll take me back to my school days. \*sits on his jacket, looks into his eyes and says…\*check your email. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162.md?page=3)