# Help! There's no gorgeous men after me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 16, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162 "2002-12-16T20:47:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/61 "2002-12-17T11:48:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*And the predator becomes the prey… 😉 > > ::: leaping off in pursuit of **Slainte** ::: \*\* woo-hoo! Good thing I don’t run too fast… ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/62 "2002-12-17T12:27:03Z")
So… _Can I take on the job of secretary for the club?_ You know…I am a married man who can not chase chicks officially… …but then if you check out … …secretaries of clubs are usually people who are ineligible for membership… and of course i could chase any one of you around with a piece of document and a pen in my hand… …pretending I need your signature for something related to the club’s operation or whatever… and if I get caught chasing you, I will claim: **"I was doing my job!"** ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/63 "2002-12-17T12:29:49Z")
Ooops… You wimmins need a reference to decide if you want to accept me or not… [size=1]Clue: check the sig! ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/64 "2002-12-17T12:35:31Z")
Ooops… You wimmins need a reference to decide if you want to accept me or not… Clue: Check the sig! ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/65 "2002-12-17T12:40:35Z")
Looks like I already blew it… what with the double post and all!!! damn!! ☹ 😃 I aint gorgeous or what, anyway 😛 😛 ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/66 "2002-12-17T13:25:59Z")
**Rubes** rips off his shirt, and starts the chase in earnest ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/67 "2002-12-17T14:30:15Z")
I forget, Who am I chasing? ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/68 "2002-12-17T15:18:26Z")
Anything that runs, I guess, **Zebra**! Kn(Lacing up my sneakers and taking off at a leisurely jog)ckers ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/69 "2002-12-17T15:31:54Z")
[Zebra takes hit off of his asthma inhaler] Hey! **Kn\*ckers** wait up! ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/70 "2002-12-17T15:37:47Z")
_starts running and hopes that someone will actually chase her_ (Anahita is right, Steve is a lovely man) ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/71 "2002-12-17T15:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Watermelon Man \* > **You know…I am a married man who can not chase chicks officially…** Hey, I’m married, and _I_ can chase chicks! I just can’t _catch_ chicks. A subtle but important distinction. (And as we all know, the thrill is in the case …) ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/72 "2002-12-17T15:48:06Z")
**WMM** : good idea including the picture on the upper right for scale; otherwise, it looks like you’re about five feet tall… or she’s about seven… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/73 "2002-12-17T15:52:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Xavier \* > My fools folly. I always thought **Ethilrist** was a guy. When you look at the name you realise it ain’t so. Dammit. Umm, what? Last I checked, I was a guy (and I check pretty often). My first post was what’s commonly referred to as a “joke.” See, I’m a guy, so there aren’t any guys chasing me… You’d think with all this LOTR fervor there’d be more people out there who had an understanding of Sindarin… ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/74 "2002-12-17T16:10:15Z")
You know, with all the women _running_ from us guys, the odds are pretty low that we’ll catch any of them. Therefore, I am just gonna stand somewhere around here in the middle of things with my giant butterfly net and snag me a few as they go running by. [sub]heh heh heh, fiendishly clever…Max E. Carnage, SUPER Genius![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/75 "2002-12-17T16:20:54Z")
Are we allowed to eat what we catch or is this a catch and release program? ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/76 "2002-12-17T16:25:30Z")
Is it not a catch and release program. Eating what you catch is encouraged. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/77 "2002-12-17T16:27:10Z")
Eating is encouraged. Oh this whole “pyramid” scheme is starting to make sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/78 "2002-12-17T16:28:28Z")
Pyramid scheme referring to the food pyramid, though it appears I’m using lust & passion as a food group ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecccb3/32.png) [@Lord\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/79 "2002-12-17T16:43:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jazzmine \* > Eating what you catch is encouraged. Now this is my kind of chase. **snugs laces up a little tighter** ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162/80 "2002-12-17T16:49:07Z")
Nah. Really, I’m too old and portly to chase gorgeous women. I’ll leave that to you younger fellers. I’ll just trip them up as they run past me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-theres-no-gorgeous-men-after-me/143162.md?page=5)