# Help! Things a bear likes to eat **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2011, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486 "2011-10-03T21:58:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/21 "2011-10-04T02:19:04Z")
Given that bears like honey and nuts, I would have suggested baklava. ---
**Author:** ![Speak\_to\_me\_Maddie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Speak\_to\_me\_Maddie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speak_to_me_Maddie)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/22 "2011-10-04T02:28:50Z")
Beets. They also enjoy Battlestar Galactica. ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/23 "2011-10-04T02:36:43Z")
Don’t be constained by black bears and grizzlies: Panda Bears like Bamboo. Koala bear (not a bear) like eucalyptus leaves. Polar bears like seals and walruses. But my first though was honey (even though I do not like honey) ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/24 "2011-10-04T02:48:38Z")
If you want to go big with the presentation and keep it realistic, you could put a chocolate bar in the back seat of a small car and have the club members rip the doors off to get at it. ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/25 "2011-10-04T02:56:57Z")
camper tartare ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/26 "2011-10-04T12:52:54Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > camper tartare With some pepper spray for seasoning! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/27 "2011-10-04T13:54:21Z")
Make little gingerbread men/women and break off some of their appendages, then apply some bright red icing onto the wounds. Maybe some little ribbon tourniquets. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/28 "2011-10-04T14:01:21Z")
> [@Superbia-acedia](#): > > I have to bring dessert. [Mousse](http://chocolatemousserecipe.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/chocolate-mousse_2.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/29 "2011-10-04T15:34:47Z")
Used deep fryer grease. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/30 "2011-10-04T16:20:19Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Untrustworthy Narrators: > > [Amazon.com: HELP! A Bear is Eating Me!: 9781933929699: Hansen, Mykle: Books](http://www.amazon.com/HELP-Bear-Eating-Mykle-Hansen/dp/1933929693) Hey! I’ve been drinking with him! Great guy; go buy his book. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/31 "2011-10-04T17:50:01Z")
Doesn’t matter, it’s all gonna end up in the woods. ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/32 "2011-10-04T20:19:04Z")
Venison? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/33 "2011-10-04T20:50:50Z")
Gummiberries ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/34 "2011-10-04T20:55:23Z")
I’d go with the despoiled camp thing and bring s’mores. ---
**Author:** ![minionkat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@minionkat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minionkat)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/35 "2011-10-04T21:46:32Z")
Lots of great ideas, now I am spoiled for choice. I am going to print this out and share the jokes at dinner club. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2011, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/36 "2011-10-04T23:13:40Z")
small woodland creatures? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/37 "2011-10-05T02:54:30Z")
In Soviet Union, bear eats YOU! Bring a person. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/38 "2011-10-05T11:32:43Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > [Mousse](http://chocolatemousserecipe.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/chocolate-mousse_2.jpg). Absolutely the best suggestion yet. I actually laughed out loud in real life here. ---
**Author:** ![Paranoid\_Randroid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paranoid_randroid/32/18_2.png) [@Paranoid\_Randroid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paranoid_Randroid)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2011, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/39 "2011-10-05T12:49:08Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Absolutely the best suggestion yet. [Sir? This is a favorite Canadian dessert, the chocolate mousse. Can I cut you an antler?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHElDZtInH0&feature=channel_video_title#t=2m46s) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2011, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486/40 "2011-10-06T00:51:48Z")
Colbert…cheese. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-things-a-bear-likes-to-eat/598486.md?page=1)