# help - what does a unicorn eat? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 18, 2019, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977 "2019-01-18T14:23:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2019, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/41 "2019-01-20T09:58:02Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Are you sure it isn’t a narwhal? They are easily confused. Them there is water unicorns.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2019, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/42 "2019-01-20T10:40:52Z")
Ass. Of both genders. …Wait, shit, wrong unicorns. ---
**Author:** ![Uniqueorn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uniqueorn/32/2807_2.png) [@Uniqueorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uniqueorn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2019, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/43 "2019-01-20T11:53:06Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > A common misconception. The term “Unicorn” does not come from “uni” (one) and “corn” (a veggie), it is instead a bastardized contraction of “unique horn”. Each unicorn horn is as distinctive as a human fingerprint and is, in fact, the most common way a criminal unicorn is identified. > > Speaking of bastardized, all unicorns are, by the way. Bastards, that is. Greedy, sparkle hogging liars who stain your carpets ROYGBIV and make it feel like you’re living in a tie-dyed, disco ball hell-hole. They just happen to have a PR firm that puts DeBeers to shame. > > What do they eat? Shit’n’die, for all I care. > > [sub]Bitter? Me? Nah.[/sub] Didn’t look at the warranty, did you? ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2019, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/44 "2019-01-20T12:24:32Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > A common misconception. The term “Unicorn” does not come from “uni” (one) and “corn” (a veggie), it is instead a bastardized contraction of “unique horn”. Each unicorn horn is as distinctive as a human fingerprint and is, in fact, the most common way a criminal unicorn is identified. > > Speaking of bastardized, all unicorns are, by the way. Bastards, that is. Greedy, sparkle hogging liars who stain your carpets ROYGBIV and make it feel like you’re living in a tie-dyed, disco ball hell-hole. They just happen to have a PR firm that puts DeBeers to shame. > > What do they eat? Shit’n’die, for all I care. > > [sub]Bitter? Me? Nah.[/sub] [Obligatory](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9auOCbH5Ns4). ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2019, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/45 "2019-01-20T20:55:32Z")
I don’t blame you for not knowing, it’s actually not well known, but unicorns eat shish kabob. It stems from their natural hunting habits. First, one of the herd will stab the prey, often in the throat or some place else to cause massive blood loss. The unicorns will then follow the blood trail at their leisure until they find the nearly dead animal and proceed to chop it into bloody bits with their sharp hooves. Then they’ll roast the meat with jest of flame from their nostrils and skewer bits with their horns and feed them to each other. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2019, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/46 "2019-01-22T14:25:41Z")
> [@Uniqueorn](#): > > Didn’t look at the warranty, did you? Look at it? Sure. Read it? How could I, the whole thing was written in 4 pt [unicorn font](https://creativemarket.com/OnTheSpotStudio/1403674-Unicorn-Letters-Font-SVG-Letters). They do that crap on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2019, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/47 "2019-01-23T23:30:23Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > I don’t know, but I’ll bet these people carry it. And are happy to charge an arm and a leg for it. [https://www.mazuri.com/](https://www.mazuri.com/) > > Don’t ask me how I know. :mad: > > All looks like dog food to me. They… they have cockroach food. Who in the world deliberately _feeds_ cockroaches? :eek: I know, there are probably researchers who need to keep their cockroaches healthy and happy, but still ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2019, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/48 "2019-01-23T23:45:09Z")
Unicorns are wild and have never been successfully domesticated. For those who attempted this only a horse was left, there are plenty of resources as how to feed your horse. A unicorn needs to be free and will find the food it needs. ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2019, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/49 "2019-01-24T14:30:09Z")
They eat Lucky Charms marshmallows. Not the cereal itself (they prefer grass to the oats) but just the marshmallows. [Amazon.com](https://www.amazon.com/Cereal-Marshmallows-8-Pounds-Bulk/dp/B004BBR95I) ---
**Author:** ![Hermitian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hermitian/32/470_2.png) [@Hermitian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermitian)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2019, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/50 "2019-01-24T15:40:33Z")
Its right there in the name. Uni-corn. One corn. Sheesh. How easy can it get? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2019, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/51 "2019-01-24T15:45:38Z")
Get yourself a big bag of Purina Unicorn Chow Ralston Purinma really did make a variety of “chows” for different animals: > [@](#): > > Purina traces its roots back to 1894, when founder William H. Danforth began producing feed for various farm animals under the name Purina Mills. The predominant brand for each animal was generally referred to as “Chow”; hence there was “Purina Horse Chow”, “Purina Dog Chow”, “Purina Cat Chow”, “Purina Rabbit Chow”, “Purina Pig Chow”, and even “Purina Monkey Chow”. It’s reasonable to believe that, in a world with unicorns, they’d make Purina Unicorn Chow. Probably came in a bag with a rainbow-colored checkerboard pattern in the corner. > **[Purina Mills](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purina_Mills)** > > Purina Mills, LLC is the farm animal feeds unit of Land O' Lakes. It was previously part of Ralston Purina, until the U.S. animal feeds portion was first sold in 1986. > Purina traces its roots back to 1894, when founder William H. Danforth began producing feed for various farm animals under the name Purina Mills. The predominant brand for each animal was generally referred to as "Chow"; hence there was "Purina Horse Chow", "Purina Dog Chow", "Purina Cat Chow", "Purina Rabbit Chow", "Purina Pig Ch... ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2019, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/52 "2019-02-04T23:47:15Z")
Saw [this](https://i5.walmartimages.ca/images/Large/712/085/6000198712085.jpg) in a Walmart this weekend. Not sure if it’s food or a suppository for a constipated unicorn. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![txjim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f07891/32.png) [@txjim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/txjim)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2019, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/53 "2019-02-05T14:46:23Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Get yourself a big bag of Purina Unicorn Chow > > Ralston Purinma really did make a variety of “chows” for different animals: > … They also owned Jack In The Box in the 70s and early 80s. Explains their tacos. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2019, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/54 "2019-02-05T18:54:29Z")
What are fast food tacos if not assembly line people chow? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2019, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/55 "2019-02-05T19:02:26Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > What are fast food tacos if not assembly line people chow? It’s probably really “Bachelor Chow” [https://theinfosphere.org/Bachelor\_Chow](https://theinfosphere.org/Bachelor_Chow) > **[Futurama: Worlds of Tomorrow](https://www.facebook.com/playfuturama/posts/bachelor-chow-sweepstakes-submissions-are-almost-over-submit-your-bachelor-chow-/227792727703556/)** > > Bachelor Chow Sweepstakes submissions are almost over! Submit your Bachelor Chow recipe by 11:59PM PDT Wednesday for a chance to win a trip to LA to see the Futurama cast! > > Comment here or email... ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2019, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/56 "2019-02-05T19:49:07Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > What are fast food tacos if not assembly line people chow? And Ralston-Purina also once owned Checkerboard Farms, producers of Chex breakfast cereals (once limited to Corn, Wheat, and Rice varieties). So, [Chex Party Snack Mix](https://www.thespruceeats.com/original-chex-party-mix-483011) would appear to be an acceptable proxy for Purina Yuppie Chow. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2019, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977/57 "2019-02-05T21:19:46Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > And Ralston-Purina also once owned Checkerboard Farms, producers of Chex breakfast cereals (once limited to Corn, Wheat, and Rice varieties). So, [Chex Party Snack Mix](https://www.thespruceeats.com/original-chex-party-mix-483011) would appear to be an acceptable proxy for Purina Yuppie Chow. One of my favorite oddities: Ralston-Purina still makes “Chex”-type cereals. They are sold as store brands and such. So the box with “Chex” on it is not the real “Chex”. You can still make Chex mix with Ralston-Purina ingredients. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-what-does-a-unicorn-eat/827977.md?page=2)