# Help With Kissing **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 29, 2007, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885 "2007-06-29T06:13:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/21 "2007-06-29T16:35:43Z")
heh. gotta ask. what makes a GOOD kisser, fellow dopers? 😛 or should this be a new thread, mods? ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/22 "2007-06-29T16:43:21Z")
[QUOTE=Kozmik] I bet Dr. Phil gets this alot. My advice: one, two, there, four, I declare a tounge war! [/QUOTE] I agree. Out-tongue the bastard. Also, listen to whatever **Giraffe** has to say on the issue. Prehensile tongues aren’t jut made overnight, yaknow. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/23 "2007-06-29T17:11:48Z")
I had a toy when I was young, a rubber person/doll thing. You squeezed it and the tongue and eyes stuck out. (Maybe you’re squeezing too hard…) ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/24 "2007-06-29T17:20:22Z")
I think there are some compatibility issues with kissing as well. Some people would call Darth Tongue a master, I’m sure. A smaller percentage, probably, but someone surely somewhere gets off on the stable-proud-tongue thing. I used to date a girl who was similarly aggressive with the tongue, and I actually kind of got to like it. She was excellent in other areas as well, so I am sure she does not receive much in the way of negative feedback. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/25 "2007-06-29T17:25:26Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Yeah. Does anyone actually like that, or am I going to have to nickname him “Wet Willy”? [/QUOTE] I like it. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/26 "2007-06-29T17:35:49Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia] I like it. [/QUOTE] I’m still going to call him Wet Willy, though. Just because I feel like it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/27 "2007-06-29T17:37:58Z")
[QUOTE=Scubaqueen] heh. gotta ask. what makes a GOOD kisser, fellow dopers? 😛 [/QUOTE] I don’t know. But I can guess. I suspect that it comes down to being aware of the other: whether he or she relaxes into you or advances into your embrace, as opposed to pulling away or stiffening up. Responding to subtle cues before they degenrate into bruising. 🙂 You know. All that subtle body-language stuff that us geeks have to _work_ at learning. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/28 "2007-06-29T17:38:28Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Yeah. Does anyone actually like that, or am I going to have to nickname him “Wet Willy”? [/QUOTE] ::: Shyly raises hand::: I do. **Scubaqueen** see the bottom of post #4 for one suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/29 "2007-06-29T17:41:26Z")
I’d send my boy to you guys then, but as he’s straight (and if I remember rightly, so are you two), that wouldn’t help. Next question: any _women_ who like that? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/30 "2007-06-29T18:20:49Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Yeah. Does anyone actually like that, or am I going to have to nickname him “Wet Willy”? [/QUOTE] Love it, both as giver and receiver. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/31 "2007-06-29T18:24:45Z")
Thanks for the advice guys! I am going out with him again on Saturday so I will see if I can gently persuade him to stop thinking of himself as the tounge master. The only stumbling block I can see is that he is much older than me. He is 14 years my senior, and in my dating experience generally with such a large age gap the older person feels like there is nothing they can learn from the younger one. I am hoping he doesn’t subscribe to that theory and can learn to be a good kisser. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/32 "2007-06-29T18:30:09Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] How do I politely teach him that my mouth is not his tounge storage unit? [/QUOTE] Bite and hold. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/33 "2007-06-29T18:34:12Z")
TONGUE! T-O-N-G-U-E! Okay, got that off my chest (and the word has lost all meaning now). Yeah, you might be right about a guy that much older not being very responsive to learning, but I’d still give him a chance to prove me wrong. You could phrase it as this is what YOU like, not implying that he has been a dead fish kisser all of his life. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/34 "2007-06-29T18:58:23Z")
Maybe you should just go “pbbth” next time he does that. That’ll learn 'im. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/35 "2007-06-29T19:05:32Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob] [Lynyrd Skynyrd] I don’t know much about love, but Baby, I can guess the rest… [/Lynyrd Skynyrd] [/QUOTE] Ahem, it’s “I know a little about love, and baby I can guess the rest.” I always though that song ended with “and baby I want your breast”, but I guess it’s “and baby I want your best.” ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/36 "2007-06-29T19:21:15Z")
[QUOTE=DianaG] …you should try straddling him and saying “Don’t move, just pay attention.” and \*showing \* him what you like. [/QUOTE] That’s some damn good advice. Hell, if I knew I’d get this result, I’d start licking the girl’s face…anything to encourage her to straddle me and order me not to move while she _demonstrates_ Yowza! ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/37 "2007-06-29T19:52:33Z")
[QUOTE=Atomicktom] That’s some damn good advice. Hell, if I knew I’d get this result, I’d start licking the girl’s face…anything to encourage her to straddle me and order me not to move while she _demonstrates_ Yowza! [/QUOTE] Oh, honey, would that ever backfire. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/38 "2007-06-29T23:07:31Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] Just be careful about how you tell him this lest he go off in a huff. However, if he goes off in a huff, good riddance. [/QUOTE] According to Groucho Marx, If you can’t get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/39 "2007-06-29T23:16:11Z")
Ya know, we all have our pluses and minuses, and we all get by with a little help from our friends. So make a deal with him. You’ll teach him how to kiss, and he’ll teach you how to spell “tongue.” ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2007, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885/40 "2007-06-29T23:51:14Z")
I’m imagining this guy posting on another board: TongueMaster: “Yeah, I met this great girl, we really hit it off, but she just doesn’t know how to kiss at all. I mean, I stick my tongue in her mouth, and I wait, and it’s like she has no idea she’s supposed to start chewing on it. I’m starting to think she doesn’t really like me.” ToothMark327: “Have you tried talking to her? Maybe she doesn’t know what she’s doing wrong.” TheLickNibbler: “Man, a woman who doesn’t know how to chew on your tongue, she probably won’t be any good when it comes to sinking her teeth into your nutsack, either.” ChewTalkaOK: “I dated this one girl once who had never chewed a tongue before. After a few days of sticking my tongue in her mouth, I had to grab her jaw while we were kissing and show her how it was done. It was great while we were together. Man, I do miss her tongue-chewin’. My current girlfriend has dentures. Just not the same.” And thus goes the day on [TongueBiters.blogspot.com](http://TongueBiters.blogspot.com)… 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/help-with-kissing/409885.md?page=3)