# Helping My Couple Friends Move And SHE Doesn't Plan To Be There? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2011, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696 "2011-08-30T23:43:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/41 "2011-09-03T05:55:20Z")
Don’t do it. Friend had 2 chances; you were a sap to even offer in the beginning. Here’s your way out: “Sorry, something’s come up…” BTW, why do I sense that you \*will \*do it? If you do, be sure and clean the toilet and the shower extra clean-I hear that she can’t stand a dirty bathroom! hh ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/42 "2011-09-03T07:04:36Z")
First of all, he didn’t _expect_ you to do anything, you volunteered, right? That’s going on what you told us. I think the girlfriend is a douche. But the guy is still your friend so if I were in your position I’d still help him out. That being said, if he’s letting her get away with this shit… I guess I don’t know what I’d do. Maybe move all his shit and leave hers in boxes outside to move in when she gets back or something. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/43 "2011-09-03T09:07:08Z")
**crazytooth615** , if he’s a good enough friend for you to volunteer you and yours for the god-awful task of moving, how is it that he’s not a good enough friend to just be honest? Is it not possible to simply say, “I find it curious that your girlfriend expects everyone _else_ to move her. What’s the deal? My offer still stands, but without her actually being there on the day, I feel more like her unpaid slave than your good friend wanting to offer a helping hand.” Who knows - there may be a reasonable explanation for her outrageous behaviour. At worst, you’ll alleviate the feeling that your good intention is being abused. You _will_ probably deny yourself years of The Day That Lazy Bitch Suckered Us In To Moving Her And Other Stories, though. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/44 "2011-09-03T09:47:34Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > **crazytooth615** , if he’s a good enough friend for you to volunteer you and yours for the god-awful task of moving, how is it that he’s not a good enough friend to just be honest? The friend didn’t volunteer the OP. She said she volunteered herself (and her boyfriend). ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/45 "2011-09-03T11:35:09Z")
I think it’s reasonable only on one condition: all her shit is already in boxes and ready to go. They just need to be put in a truck and unloaded somewhere else. For a simple move, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask a good friend to help out like that, if in fact the circumstances leading to not being there were unavoidable. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/46 "2011-09-03T11:39:57Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > The friend didn’t volunteer the OP. She said she volunteered herself (and her boyfriend). Ah, yeah, I know. Where is the confusion? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/47 "2011-09-03T12:16:49Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Ah, yeah, I know. Where is the confusion? I misread your post. Read it as “good enough friend to volunteer you and yours.” ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/48 "2011-09-03T13:09:40Z")
Fair enough, **Clockwork**! **BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed** - what is this “simple move” of which you speak? I am unfamiliar with this animal. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/49 "2011-09-03T14:23:00Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > Fair enough, **Clockwork**! > > **BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed** - what is this “simple move” of which you speak? I am unfamiliar with this animal. I once moved from a one-bedroom apartment to the two-bedroom next door. _Literally_ next door: same building, same floor, from 1206 to 1204. I hired a couple of homeless guys to carry my furniture from one apartment to the other, and my girlfriend and I carried the boxes of clothes and such. We’d also bought some new furniture and appliances, which were delivered by the store at which I was an appliance manager. _That_ was a simple move. I’m not sure there are many others. Oh, and I bought the homeless guys pizza afterwards in addition to the money I promised them, and I paid 'em more than I’d promised because I was too lazy to go get change. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/50 "2011-09-03T14:53:05Z")
**Dangerosa** , I approve of your list. I move we send it to everyone we know, and tell them to send it to everyone _they_ know. We’ll teach these bastards the etiquette of moving somehow, some way! I’ve run into most of those moving family, too, which is why we’re so glad we’ve opted out of the reciprocal moving obligation by using movers for our last move. So long, suckers! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Caiata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@Caiata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caiata)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/51 "2011-09-05T01:54:18Z")
`1 ` ETA: My dog typed that. Sorry! I don’t have any advice. She just wanted my chicken. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696/52 "2011-09-05T02:57:48Z")
> [@Caiata](#): > > `1 ` > > ETA: My dog typed that. Sorry! I don’t have any advice. She just wanted my chicken. 🙂 Translation: Your friend’s girlfriend is a bitch. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/helping-my-couple-friends-move-and-she-doesnt-plan-to-be-there/594696.md?page=2)