# Hemi ad campaign(s). They almost said your penis will grow if you buy a Hemi. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 18, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752 "2004-05-18T13:00:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/21 "2004-05-18T18:07:37Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > If we’re talking about a _truck_ here, it’s moot. I don’t care if you’ve got the Space Shuttle engine in there, it’s too fucking heavy to ever be fast. These wieners in their pickups, driving around like they think they’re fast, crack me up. Easy does it. Probably 99% of them can be taken down by various mid-size family cars, but the elite trucks are still damn fast. Yes, for the most part, they crack me up too. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/22 "2004-05-18T18:10:55Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > Easy does it. Probably 99% of them can be taken down by various mid-size family cars, but the elite trucks are still damn fast. > > Yes, for the most part, they crack me up too. Sorry, what are “the elite” trucks? ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/23 "2004-05-18T18:24:11Z")
> [@GaWd](#): > > Commentary on the author of the article you wrote: > > Well pardon me, but duh. Whoever wrote that article is an idiot. Huh? ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/24 "2004-05-18T18:27:03Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Sorry, what are “the elite” trucks? It’s generally a truck with a higher gear ratio(lower RPMs to keep the engine in it’s power band), exhaust modifications(usually louder and dual pipes), and a remapped computer that will provide more gas and spark at certain speeds/RPMs. For example, the new “Rumble Bee” released by Dodge- Hemi Powered, Exhaust mods, new gears, Etc. It’s much faster than the comparable Hemi-powered truck of the same series. Other Manufacturers trucks also fall into the category, but I don’t know their names. It’s really a custom truck with a marketing scheme attached to it. Funky names generally accompany the vehicle. Sam ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/25 "2004-05-18T18:37:14Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Huh? What I was referring to was the notion that in recent years smog equipment and laws have put a clamp on performance engines. “Duh”. The example I provided below it was to prove my point-that car manufacturers have been putting the clamps on engine output vs. smog output for decades. It’s such a well-known fact to me that I assume to most people it is also a forgone conclusion. That’s all I was saying. I think the author of that article was stating facts that are redundant. Sam ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/26 "2004-05-18T18:42:01Z")
“The quarter-mile now whooshes by in an amazing 13.8 seconds at 104 mph, faster than an SVT Mustang Cobra and only a few ticks behind the $55,675 Mustang Cobra R, which performs the feat in 13.0 seconds at 111 mph…” from Car and Driver article on F150 Lightening. > **[2003 Dodge Viper SRT-10](https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a15136932/2003-dodge-viper-srt-10-first-drive-review/)** > > The new, improved hyper-Viper. GM and Dodge have - or will have - trucks with comparable performance. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/27 "2004-05-18T18:42:08Z")
> [@GaWd](#): > > I think the author of that article was stating facts that are redundant. What article did I post? What the hell is going on? ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/28 "2004-05-18T18:50:09Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Well to be honest I’m not much of a gearhead, but I read an article about the hemi, saying due to tighter emission standards and such, they aren’t the same muscle engines they were back in the day. > [@World Eater](#): > > What article did I post? > > What the hell is going on? It seems as if you stated that you read an article on the new hemi that said it “wasn’t the same” due to emissions. I replied with a “Duh”. What the hell is going on? Did I read your post(quoted at the beginning of this post), incorrectly? Huh? Sam ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/29 "2004-05-18T19:00:26Z")
> [@GaWd](#): > > It seems as if you stated that you read an article on the new hemi that said it “wasn’t the same” due to emissions. I replied with a “Duh”. What the hell is going on? Did I read your post(quoted at the beginning of this post), incorrectly? > > Huh? > > Sam No, no I get it now. 🙂 \ Thought I was going nuts for a second. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/30 "2004-05-18T20:31:06Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > Then what will you dig up? We’ll know the fad is on the cusp of disappearing when the “hemi” is referred to as “X-treme!” Any time now. Any time. _–tap tap tap–_ ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/31 "2004-05-18T20:44:45Z")
> [@Cervaise](#): > > We’ll know the fad is on the cusp of disappearing when the “hemi” is referred to as “X-treme!” > > Any time now. > > Any time. > > _–tap tap tap–_ My money is on a stage left exit, when the bottom line goes does the crapper. Until then, _hemi hemi hemi_! ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/32 "2004-05-18T20:48:31Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > “The quarter-mile now whooshes by in an amazing 13.8 seconds at 104 mph, faster than an SVT Mustang Cobra and only a few ticks behind the $55,675 Mustang Cobra R, which performs the feat in 13.0 seconds at 111 mph…” > > from Car and Driver article on F150 Lightening. > > [http://www.caranddriver.com/article.asp?section\_id=19&article\_id=3082&page\_number=1](http://www.caranddriver.com/article.asp?section_id=19&article_id=3082&page_number=1) > GM and Dodge have - or will have - trucks with comparable performance. Almost, but not quite: [http://www.ssmoparmuscle.com/speedcomp.htm](http://www.ssmoparmuscle.com/speedcomp.htm) 2004 Dodge Ram SRT-10 (Viper Truck 6-spd) - 13.60 But if we’re comparing _custom_ trucks to cars, then let’s make the comparison fair, and use custom cars: 2004 Ferrari Enzo - 11.20 Trucks are still slower than cars, unless you know of a way to defy gravity. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/33 "2004-05-19T01:43:04Z")
Um, there are fast trucks, even relative to cars. Do we need to argue this? I don’t recall saying that trucks are faster…but some trucks have serious balls, and they come that way right from the factory. And I agree that most yahoos in a big ol’ truck have dogs because they are so damn heavy and aren’t exactly tuned or geared for accel/top speed. (btw…My son’s middle name is Enzo, in honor of Mr Ferrari. I don’t want to fight with you, **blowero** ) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Pastrami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/96bed5/32.png) [@Captain\_Pastrami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Pastrami)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/34 "2004-05-19T01:47:04Z")
> [@Weirddave](#): > > [fry cook] > > SWEET! > > [/fry cook] Judging from the ad that **Weirddave** referenced, Dodge seems to be implying that only the mentally disabled/mouth breather types can truly appreciate the Hemi. Which, of course is true. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/35 "2004-05-19T01:56:57Z")
But it makes your penis bigger, right? Where can I get one? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/36 "2004-05-19T02:04:57Z")
Too bad it’s in a crappy line of cars. I fucking hate Chrysler. And Dodge. And Plymouth (even though it’s dead). And Jeep can kiss my ass, too! ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/37 "2004-05-19T02:13:10Z")
Is a Hemi better than a flux capacitor? ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/38 "2004-05-19T03:21:38Z")
Can a flux capacitor make your penis bigger? And bolted into a DeLorean, I believe the flux capacitor and said DeLorean would have their asses kicked by a Honda Accord. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/39 "2004-05-19T06:29:35Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > Um, there are fast trucks, even relative to cars. Do we need to argue this? The fastest car is faster than the fastest truck, and the average car is faster than the average truck. What exactly is the argument here? > [@](#): > > I don’t recall saying that trucks are faster…but some trucks have serious balls, and they come that way right from the factory. > > And I agree that most yahoos in a big ol’ truck have dogs because they are so damn heavy and aren’t exactly tuned or geared for accel/top speed. > > (btw…My son’s middle name is Enzo, in honor of Mr Ferrari. I don’t want to fight with you, **blowero** ) Great, then. You’re the one who said “easy does it” to me, and then tried to contradict what I said. Not sure what kind of response you were expecting from me after that. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/40 "2004-05-19T07:04:23Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > And Plymouth (even though it’s dead). When and why did Plymouth die? I thought Neons were Plymouths now? And what other car companies are dead? Just the other day I noticed I haven’t seen any new Buicks or Oldsmobiles in a loooong time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752.md?page=3)