# Hemi ad campaign(s). They almost said your penis will grow if you buy a Hemi. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 18, 2004, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752 "2004-05-18T13:00:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/41 "2004-05-19T07:23:33Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > When and why did Plymouth die? I thought Neons were Plymouths now? > > And what other car companies are dead? Just the other day I noticed I haven’t seen any new Buicks or Oldsmobiles in a loooong time. Buick is still around. Oldsmobile dies next year and Plymouth died about three years ago. It’s all about redundancy, consolidation, and sales numbers. They weren’t selling in any volumes and the models they sold were duplicated by Dodge/Chrysler and Chevrolet. Still, that sucks. All that history just cast away… screw that. Give me a Superbird, Roadrunner, Cutlass, or 442 any day. Oh, and Neons were originally badged as both Dodge AND Plymouth, now they’re just Dodges. Also, the Prowler ended life as the Chrysler Prowler. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/42 "2004-05-19T11:40:16Z")
Oldsmobile officially died last week when the last car, a crappy Alero, rolled off the assembly line. I still want a 1968 4-4-2 convertible. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/43 "2004-05-19T11:55:14Z")
When Oldsmobiles officially die, what will become the Official Old Peoples Car of America? ™ I’ve been wondering that for some time. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/44 "2004-05-19T12:08:13Z")
I thought Buicks were Official Old People Cars, anyway… so they can carry the torch a bit longer. I wonder how many Buicks or Olds there are in Florida? ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/45 "2004-05-19T14:03:56Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > If we’re talking about a _truck_ here, it’s moot. I don’t care if you’ve got the Space Shuttle engine in there, it’s too fucking heavy to ever be fast. These wieners in their pickups, driving around like they think they’re fast, crack me up. The only thing to do is to let this comment die on it’s own, or prop it up so others can see the ignorance. **blowero** , it’s your comment that started it, and you should realize the ignorance littered within it. ---
**Author:** ![Hook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@Hook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hook)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/46 "2004-05-19T17:31:21Z")
Perhaps not totally relevant to the discussion but the story about this Chrysler Hemi may be interesting. [http://www.fastlane.com.au/default.htm](http://www.fastlane.com.au/default.htm) ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/47 "2004-05-19T19:01:06Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > The only thing to do is to let this comment die on it’s own, or prop it up so others can see the ignorance. > > **blowero** , it’s your comment that started it, and you should realize the ignorance littered within it. Listen, numb-nuts - your own link says it all: > [@](#): > > Others thought that making a pickup go fast, despite its speed-sucking flaws, such as major weight and a raised center of gravity, was a complete waste of effort. Trying to make a fast pickup truck is stupid, because a car will _always_ be faster. I guess what you’re trying to do is take my comment _absolutely_ literally, and you think that because you cited _one_ truck that’s fast, that you think you have invalidated my point. Here’s a news flash: The yokels who are driving around in pickups with big attitudes, who I routinely blow away in a Jetta with only a little over 1/2 their horsepower, aren’t driving Ford F-150 Lightnings. But they still mistakenly think they are in a fast truck. If you want to compare the _fastest_ truck with the _slowest_ car, and think you have made some sort of point, be my guest. I’ll just laugh at you. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/48 "2004-05-19T19:51:43Z")
**blowero** , the quote from my link “Others thought that making a pickup go fast, despite its speed-sucking flaws, such as major weight and a raised center of gravity, was a complete waste of effort.” has been taken outta context by YOU. The point made in the F150 Lightening article was to say, “…tada! Take a look a a production truck that can outrun an SVT COBRA, and give a Cobra R a run for it’s life!” Those who thought trucks had to be slow are dead wrong. Cobra R’s compete with ‘fast’ cars like Corvettes, and now we have production trucks hanging with Vettes and other fast cars. An F150 Lightening ain’t the Ferrari Enzo of the truck world, dummy. It’s just a factory option, and trucks like this are quite common. Are you the only one who doesn’t know how emabarassing your posts are? You came in unsolicited to declare, “…If we’re talking about a truck here, it’s moot. I don’t care if you’ve got the Space Shuttle engine in there, it’s too fucking heavy to ever be fast…” And, well, that’d be just dumb to say and dumber to try to defend it. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/49 "2004-05-19T19:57:51Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Trying to make a fast pickup truck is stupid, because a car will _always_ be faster. What the hell does that have to do with anything? > [@](#): > > I guess what you’re trying to do is take my comment _absolutely_ literally, and you think that because you cited _one_ truck that’s fast, that you think you have invalidated my point. Here’s a news flash: The yokels who are driving around in pickups with big attitudes, who I routinely blow away in a Jetta with only a little over 1/2 their horsepower, aren’t driving Ford F-150 Lightnings. But they still mistakenly think they are in a fast truck. If you want to compare the _fastest_ truck with the _slowest_ car, and think you have made some sort of point, be my guest. I’ll just laugh at you. This is just silly, it doesn’t even make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2004, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/50 "2004-05-19T22:07:24Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Here’s a news flash: The yokels who are driving around in pickups with big attitudes, who I routinely blow away in a Jetta with only a little over 1/2 their horsepower, aren’t driving Ford F-150 Lightnings. But they still mistakenly think they are in a fast truck. I find it hard to believe that you “blow away” most pickup trucks with your Jetta. Maybe a 4-cyl Ranger, but not the average V-6 or V-8 truck. My friend has a 6-cylinder Grand Cherokee and he has “blown away” the last three cars I’ve had: a 1996 Saturn SC2 (the fastest Saturn at the time), a 1998 Civic EX (top-model Civic) and a 2004 Civic EX (also top-model Civic, also VTEC.) My girlfriend and my sister both drive Jettas and neither one could beat any of my cars, which in turn can’t beat my friend’s Cherokee, which in turn wouldn’t stand a chance against any V-8. Ergo, while the fastest trucks stand no chance against the fastest cars, you’re still thoroughly full of shit. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/51 "2004-05-20T08:11:05Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I find it hard to believe that you “blow away” most pickup trucks with your Jetta. Maybe a 4-cyl Ranger, but not the average V-6 or V-8 truck. Ugh. The testosterone is really flowing now. :rolleyes: Yes, My Jetta is faster than the average V-6 or V-8 truck or SUV. Here are the 1/4 mile times for 5 SUVs having 2-3 times the displacement of my car: [http://www.edmunds.com/reviews/comparison/articles/53479/page014.html](http://www.edmunds.com/reviews/comparison/articles/53479/page014.html) 16.1, 17.1, 16.3, 18.3, 16.4 Here’s the 1/4 mile time for the Jetta 1.8T: > **[Supercar & Sports Car Pictures (Ultimate Hub)](https://www.supercars.net/blog/supercar-pictures-videos/gallery-home/)** > > An awesome collection of epic supercar pictures and galleries. Enjoy the beauty, aggression and outright strinking nature of the best cars on the planet. 15.5 > [@](#): > > My friend has a 6-cylinder Grand Cherokee and he has “blown away” the last three cars I’ve had: a 1996 Saturn SC2 (the fastest Saturn at the time), a 1998 Civic EX (top-model Civic) and a 2004 Civic EX (also top-model Civic, also VTEC.) Nope. A 1999 Civic SI has a 1/4 mile time of 15.7. No way in hell a 6 cyl. Jeep beats that. The EX is not the fastest model Civic. > [@](#): > > My girlfriend and my sister both drive Jettas and neither one could beat any of my cars, which in turn can’t beat my friend’s Cherokee, which in turn wouldn’t stand a chance against any V-8. Again, you’re comparing SUVs with huge engines to cars that are designed to get good gas mileage, not speed. Apples & oranges. > [@](#): > > Ergo, while the fastest trucks stand no chance against the fastest cars, you’re still thoroughly full of shit. Nope, you are. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/52 "2004-05-20T08:14:29Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > You came in unsolicited to declare, “…If we’re talking about a truck here, it’s moot. I don’t care if you’ve got the Space Shuttle engine in there, it’s too fucking heavy to ever be fast…” > > And, well, that’d be just dumb to say and dumber to try to defend it. Philster, you proved that if you put a gigantic engine in a truck, it can go fast. Congratu-fucking-lations. So what part of ‘trucks are heavier than cars’ don’t you understand, you stupid fuck? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/53 "2004-05-20T08:20:31Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Yes, My Jetta is faster than the average V-6 or V-8 truck or SUV. > > Here are the 1/4 mile times for 5 SUVs having 2-3 times the displacement of my car: > [http://www.edmunds.com/reviews/comparison/articles/53479/page014.html](http://www.edmunds.com/reviews/comparison/articles/53479/page014.html) > 16.1, 17.1, 16.3, 18.3, 16.4 > > Here’s the 1/4 mile time for the Jetta 1.8T: > [Supercar & Sports Car Pictures (Ultimate Hub)](http://www.supercars.net/garages/marcusmv3/166v2.html) > > 15.5 Ok, so you’re Turbo Jetta (you failed to mention earlier that it was turbo) beats an SUV in the quarter mile by six tenths of a second. Big effing deal. What does a normal Jetta do? > [@](#): > > Nope. A 1999 Civic SI has a 1/4 mile time of 15.7. No way in hell a 6 cyl. Jeep beats that. The EX is not the fastest model Civic. No one mentioned the year 1999 **or** the letters SI, and you didn’t even look up what a 6-cylinder Jeep would do. Why did you bother to make a post with cites if they weren’t accurate? > [@](#): > > Again, you’re comparing SUVs with huge engines to cars that are designed to get good gas mileage, not speed. Apples & oranges. Umm, what’s your point? Earlier you said that your car that was designed to get good gas mileage, not speed, routinely “blew away” those SUV with huge engines. Now you’re saying they’re apples and orange? Did you come back to this thread solely for the purpose of making yourself look stupid? > [@](#): > > Nope, you are. Yea, I think we can all see you proved that :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/54 "2004-05-20T13:46:20Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Philster, you proved that if you put a gigantic engine in a truck, it can go fast. Congratu-fucking-lations. So what part of ‘trucks are heavier than cars’ don’t you understand, you stupid fuck? **Space Shuttles are heavier than cars** , fuckface. **blowero** , to repeat the issue at hand here and to save everyone the pain of trying figure out what the fuck your numbnut brain has been doing here, **blowero** jumps into this thread, and introduces this concept out of no where…and I’ll paraphrase… **blowhard’s initial claim** :A Space Shuttle engine couldn’t make a truck fast. Why? Trucks are too heavy to be fast. -end of blowhard’s claim. REPEATING blowhard’s point, which he just dropped into the thread out of the theme of the thread: TRUCKS ARE TOO HEAVY TO BE FAST. What happened next? I disagreed, and pointed out that some production trucks can outrun cars that are widely accpeted as fast. F150’s that hang with Vettes…Cobras, etc. Numbnuts **blowhard** proceeds to argue in response that the Ferrari Enzo is faster than the fastest truck. He then chimes back in again to point out that trucks are heavier than cars and that if you put gigantic engines in them, trucks can go fast. \*Got that? His first point: Trucks: TOO DAMN HEAVY TO EVER BE FAST. His latest point: if you put a gigantic engine in a truck, it can go fast.\* ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/55 "2004-05-20T13:52:23Z")
blowero, what the fuck is your point? You’re such an ass, concede and let it drop. Sam ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/56 "2004-05-20T20:15:23Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Ok, so you’re Turbo Jetta (you failed to mention earlier that it was turbo) beats an SUV in the quarter mile by six tenths of a second. Big effing deal. What does a normal Jetta do? My Jetta is a 1.8 liter turbo. It _is_ normal. It’s not even the fastest model. The VR6 has an even bigger engine. Mine isn’t even a particular noteworthy car. Subaru’s making a turbo now that’s about 100 more horsepower than mine. The point is that those SUVs, even though they have a much bigger engine, are not as fast. Why? Because they are HEAVY. I’m not sure why you folks are having so much trouble with the concept. Philster apparently thinks I was referring to the Space Shuttle LITERALLY. :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > No one mentioned the year 1999 **or** the letters SI, and you didn’t even look up what a 6-cylinder Jeep would do. You were mentioning the late 90’s, so I was trying to find a good comparison. I actually DID try to look up a 6-cylinder Jeep, and I couldn’t find anything. Probably because it most likely has a pretty lame 1/4 mile time. If you can find it, be my guest. This is just getting stupid. You want to compare a bone-stock, base model Civic, one of the slowest cars you can buy, to SUVs with engines 2-3 TIMES bigger. Yeah, that’s a really fair comparison.:rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Why did you bother to make a post with cites if they weren’t accurate? Don’t know what you’re talking about. > [@](#): > > Umm, what’s your point? Earlier you said that your car that was designed to get good gas mileage, not speed, routinely “blew away” those SUV with huge engines. Uh, no - I didn’t say that about my car, asshole. I said it about the cars _you_ were talking about. Please at least TRY to fucking read what I wrote. Thank you. Although, FWIW, my car DOES get much, much better gas mileage than an SUV. > [@](#): > > Philster: > REPEATING blowhard’s point, which he just dropped into the thread out of the theme of the thread: TRUCKS ARE TOO HEAVY TO BE FAST. HA HA HA HA. I get it! Blowero - blowhard. Oh, that’s a good one. Man, where do you come up with this stuff? You know, I’ve always thought that changing another poster’s name into an insult is just about the classiest thing you can do.:rolleyes: As fun as this has been, I’m getting a little tired of the chest-thumping in here. See ya… ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/57 "2004-05-20T20:24:15Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > Uh, no - I didn’t say that about my car, asshole. I said it about the cars _you_ were talking about. Please at least TRY to fucking read what I wrote. Thank you. Although, FWIW, my car DOES get much, much better gas mileage than an SUV. > [@blowero](#): > > Here’s a news flash: The yokels who are driving around in pickups with big attitudes, who I routinely blow away in a Jetta with only a little over 1/2 their horsepower, aren’t driving Ford F-150 Lightnings. Get the fuck out of this thread you stupid son of a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/58 "2004-05-20T20:43:17Z")
We were 'this" close to finding out that blowhard has serious issues about trucks and truck owners. I keep reading this thread and for the life of me I can’t see how in heck we needed to go from bitching about Dodge’s ad campaign to worrying about how the average car is faster than the average truck. We know alot of truck owners are weanies…and alot of car owners are, too. It is not a revelation that there are trucks with good 1/4 mile times, that they are heavy yet fast, and that while there are alot of them, prepare to see a whole lot more because trucks and SUVs are the fastest growing segment (and didn’t they outsell cars?) So, this thread is Pitting Dodge’s marketing team for: Ruining the brand…ruining the Hemi image… and for making me avoid Hemi powered Dodge trucks, because I would hate to be associated with the image of someone who just buys a fast truck (OMG I said fast truck) to overcome small penis syndrome or just to 'intimidate". ---
**Author:** ![PorkChop47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e68b1a/32.png) [@PorkChop47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PorkChop47)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752/59 "2004-05-20T22:48:55Z")
> [@Philster](#): > > Hemi ad campaign(s). They almost said your penis will grow if you buy a Hemi. The sad thing is folks will give into this sort of ad campaing. Dodge have obviously researched their market, and their market is typically (I’m not generalizing, yes woman and girls drive big trucks too but TYPICALLY) white American males. Also I have never seen the awesomely powerful HEMI truck carrying large loads of timber etc. HEMI trucks I’m used to seeing are typically poser trucks. It’s a dude carrying his six pack beer. You hardly need a HEMI for that! Then could I be jealous that I don’t have a HEMI? Nah! I’m a Toyota person all the way! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemi-ad-campaign-s-they-almost-said-your-penis-will-grow-if-you-buy-a-hemi/245752.md?page=2)