# Hemorrhoids are fucking little ass demons. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2014, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226 "2014-07-28T09:53:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226/21 "2014-07-28T18:03:19Z")
I’ve had some butt issues as well, especially post pregnancy. I’ve been sucking down a green smoothie with [this high fiber protein powder](https://store.nutiva.com/hemp-protein-plus-fiber/) (it’s cheaper on Amazon). Just a heaping tablespoon in there and my butt is happier than it’s ever been. Here’s my recipe: Take a handful of walnuts and blend with 8-10 oz LaCroix Coconut (or just water, but I like the taste) Add [ul] [li]a lightly nuked carrot[/li][li]about a cup of frozen spinach (or other leafy green)[/li][li]a cored apple[/li][li]a small knob of ginger[/li][li]a tablespoon of chia seeds[/li][/ul] and blend after every addition. Add more liquid if necessary. Toss in a heaping tbsp of the protein powder and about 5 ice cubes. Blend until the ice cubes are killed. ---
**Author:** ![Matt1075](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/94ad74/32.png) [@Matt1075](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Matt1075)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226/22 "2014-07-28T22:34:12Z")
I agree with jturr88. Probably the quickest and most sure way to deal with this is to see a doctor and get it removed. I’ve known people who had the surgery- they said it was no big deal. But once you’ve killed the little bugger, remember that hemorrhoids have a cause. If you don’t address the issues that caused it, there will be more. One doctoer I saw about my problem MANY years ago put me on a stool softener- Colace. It was not long before my body adjusted and the softener had no effect. Not a good long term solution. More water and fiber does the trick. For me, the problem went away when I started taking a fiber supplement and pine bark. No surgery. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226/23 "2014-07-28T23:19:27Z")
My little brother had an ongoing issue with hemorrhoids that wouldn’t resolve with home remedies. Don’t know what caused it but he typically eats a very high fiber, mostly-vegetarian diet so probably not diet-related. He had some sort of laser office-surgery done, seven or eight years ago and has been fine ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226/24 "2014-07-29T00:07:46Z")
I don’t think those that are recommending “get it removed” have a clue what they are talking about. A hemorrhoidectomy is pretty serious and has a very long and painful recovery period. It is definitely not something to just go do on a whim for some quick relief. If you are talking about getting it lanced then that’s something different, though you still don’t just run over to the doc and get your rood sliced open on a whim either. If it’s thrombosed then yes, but an avg run of the mill rood no. I’ve had one a couple times, about the size of a small grape. Very irritating and nasty feeling. Topicals did nothing for mine. Sitz bath is where it’s at. That helped a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2014, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226/25 "2014-07-29T01:16:56Z")
Tie it off tight with some dental floss and in a few days it will drop off. just kidding If Preparation H won’t decrease it within an hour or so, you should see a doctor, 'cause it’s not just your garden variety hemorrhoid. Interestingly, the active ingredient in Preparation H is phenylephrine, the same stuff I spray up my nose when I’m congested. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_Carlson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bc79bd/32.png) [@Not\_Carlson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_Carlson)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2014, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226/26 "2014-07-30T15:49:45Z")
> [@Jmurph7488](#): > > **Hemorrhoids are fucking little ass demons.** Those poor little ass demons. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-are-fucking-little-ass-demons/694226.md?page=1)