# Hemorrhoids? (major TMI here!!) (also need answer fast!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 15, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815 "2011-03-15T17:59:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/61 "2011-03-16T21:05:41Z")
Herpes can be passed if you sleep with someone who doesn’t know they’re infected. [Learning about the herp!](http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm) > [@](#): > > Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected… > > Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. … It’s not the end of the world. You didn’t get it from a toilet seat. > [@](#): > > Nationwide, 16.2%, or about one out of six, people 14 to 49 years of age have genital HSV-2 infection. You have lots of company. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/62 "2011-03-16T21:12:00Z")
No Stoid, he didn’t take a culture to test. Maybe I should have brought him some of my soiled underpants with the dried brown-red stuff on it. Fuck, this is just fuck. I don’t think I got it from anyone in the past either, nobody’s ever told me about their being infected. Is it normal to feel like you’re a zombie in a zombie movie just before you turn? Shit, at least with the flesh eating bacteria, there’s no intrinsic shame in it. I can’t tell anyone this, they’ll think I’ve been fucking random homeless people while sticking needles in my arm. How far can I fake a stomachache? Maybe if I made myself vomit at work they will leave me alone. Maybe I’ll come in with a cast. God damn it ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/63 "2011-03-16T21:13:42Z")
You could have slept with someone who didn’t know they were infected, you know. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/64 "2011-03-16T21:14:41Z")
Seriously dude, you need to calm down. It seems weird that they didn’t culture you, and no, he doesn’t need to have a pair of your soiled underpants in order to do a culture. Did he give you any other possibilities for what it might be besides herpes? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/65 "2011-03-16T21:15:41Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Maybe I’ll come in with a cast. God damn it IF you can manage to put and keep a cast on that thing down there, please post some pics. Its okay if you wear a paper bag on your head though. Personally, from the sound of things earlier, I thought this might be the first case of a “need answer fast” thread where the poster never returns, except maybe in an electronic ghost form. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/66 "2011-03-16T21:22:04Z")
Are you prone to cold sores on your mouth or lips? They are caused by a related virus and can rarely be spread to other parts of the body. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/67 "2011-03-16T21:39:28Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > NShit, at least with the flesh eating bacteria, there’s no intrinsic shame in it. There’s no intrinsic shame in this, either. If you feel ashamed, it’s because you are deciding to, for no discernable reason. > [@](#): > > I can’t tell anyone this, they’ll think I’ve been fucking random homeless people while sticking needles in my arm. If they are ignorant, they might. If they are reasonable and reasonably informed adults, they will not. There is nothing about herpes that makes it particularly wrong, evil, bad, dirty or anything else. It’s just a virus. Viruses are spread by all kinds of human beings via close contact with all kinds of other human beings, without any connection whatsoever to the wealth, education, cleanliness or drug use of the people involved. Seriously STOP THIS. This is THE STRAIGHT DOPE. We FIGHT ignorance here, please allow your ignorance to be fought! ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/68 "2011-03-17T00:02:09Z")
Shame on your doctor for not taking a culture. Here’s the thing: that combination of meds would likely cure a number of things other than herpes (in addition to herpes). So, getting better after the round of meds =/ a diagnosis of the herp. You really need actual laboratory tests and he should have ordered some to be sure. There are things like infections and lesions and fissures that could cause what you’re experiencing. “Might be the herp” isn’t good diagnostic medicine. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/69 "2011-03-17T03:39:27Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Shame on your doctor for not taking a culture. Agreed. Looking at it and saying hmmm, might be this, so take some of these pills and maybe that’ll help? Not good medicine. We’ve got tests for herpes, you know. Also for bacteria and fungi. Handing out drugs and not making an accurate diagnosis based on _tests_ is pretty pathetic and irresponsible. Hope you feel better soon, **Yog** , whatever it is. Sounds like hell to live with right now! ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/70 "2011-03-17T04:01:10Z")
I hope at least the topical gave some relief quickly. I can’t imagine suffering with that for yet another night! Hope you’re feeling better as soon as tomorrow. Also agreeing with the wishy washy diagnosis being something the OP should be unhappy about. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/71 "2011-03-17T10:07:21Z")
I’m sorry you’re having this scary and unpleasant medical issue. I in no way want to make light of it. However, I am going to go ahead and mention that after reading this thread last night I had a horrible, vivid dream that I had contracted your condition and that somehow I had contracted the infection through reading the thread on the message board! ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/72 "2011-03-17T11:11:47Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Is it normal to feel like you’re a zombie in a zombie movie just before you turn? Shit, at least with the flesh eating bacteria, there’s no intrinsic shame in it. I can’t tell anyone this, they’ll think I’ve been fucking random homeless people while sticking needles in my arm. How far can I fake a stomachache? Maybe if I made myself vomit at work they will leave me alone. Maybe I’ll come in with a cast. God damn it Why in hell does it matter what anyone else thinks? If the situation embarrasses you, then don’t say anything and go about your business. Grow up while you’re at it. ---
**Author:** ![Zulema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/db5fbb/32.png) [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/73 "2011-03-17T15:02:49Z")
If you can afford it I think you need to go to a better doctor. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/74 "2011-03-17T15:31:59Z")
> [@Zulema](#): > > If you can afford it I think you need to go to a better doctor. What do they call the person who graduates last in his class at medical school? Doctor ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/75 "2011-03-17T17:14:27Z")
I bet hemorrhoids don’t seem so bad now? I admit I didn’t really read your description of where the unpleasantness is located before. Sometimes the “tmi” tag can lead to skimming over the details. I’m with the “get a second opinion” crowd. There’s stuff that can look like herpes and if he didn’t do a culture you can’t be sure and why go on a lifetime antiviral (acyclovir) if you don’t need it? As an example of stuff that looks like herpes, there’s dermatitis herpetiformis which is called that because it looks like herpes. It can be caused by a number of things, such as gluten sensitivity. A common location for it is also in the buttockal region. If you decide to research this on your own, be warned many pictures of rashes are not safe for work. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/76 "2011-03-17T17:22:12Z")
I have to say I don’t know how doctors make the distinctions between skin conditions. When you look at the photos (GAH!) everything starts to just blend together into redness, bumps, pustules and general grossitude. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/77 "2011-03-17T21:09:42Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > I called it! Fungal infection with secondary bacterial infection. > Glad a doctor visit is happening today. I’ll go in on this. ETA: Especially the part about the OP going to a doctor. This ain’t no disco, and those ain’t no hemorrhoids. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Woo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@Dr.Woo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Woo)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/78 "2011-03-17T21:21:29Z")
Crap, missed the edit window. I agree with others that a second opinion would be a good thing, but even if it is herpes, it’s something you can live with. Get to another doc before the symptoms go away. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/79 "2011-03-17T21:32:27Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > I’m sorry you’re having this scary and unpleasant medical issue. I in no way want to make light of it. However, I am going to go ahead and mention that after reading this thread last night I had a horrible, vivid dream that I had contracted your condition and that somehow I had contracted the infection through reading the thread on the message board! Man, I think that board Ignore function is going to be way more useful and important than I ever thought! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/80 "2011-03-17T21:33:58Z")
Well it’s probably herpes, going by the medicine the doctor gave me. As soon as I took it and put on the cream, the stinky brown liquid immediately decreased its sweating through the skin. I still had to throw another pair of underwear away though. That makes like 5 or 6 so far, plus the pair I have on now that I’m burning as soon as I get home. Ugh > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Are you prone to cold sores on your mouth or lips? They are caused by a related virus and can rarely be spread to other parts of the body. Yes, but it’s been a lifelong thing so probably not related. I’ve always been prone to getting cankers in my mouth (never outside though). Sometimes they just form, sometimes they are form when I break the skin. Just 3 weeks ago, I bit my lower lip while eating and had a canker there for about 2 weeks. I have one in my mouth now in the upper part. It started around a week ago, when this whole thing happened ☹ > [@Stoid](#): > > There is nothing about herpes that makes it particularly wrong, evil, bad, dirty or anything else. It’s just a virus. Viruses are spread by all kinds of human beings via close contact with all kinds of other human beings, without any connection whatsoever to the wealth, education, cleanliness or drug use of the people involved. > > Seriously STOP THIS. This is THE STRAIGHT DOPE. We FIGHT ignorance here, please allow your ignorance to be fought! Still, others will treat me like I’m some sort of leper no matter how I feel on the inside. God damn it. My romantic life is already sad enough, this just makes it worse [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815.md?page=5)