# Hemorrhoids? (major TMI here!!) (also need answer fast!) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 15, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815 "2011-03-15T17:59:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/81 "2011-03-17T21:50:03Z")
Canker sores are not cold sores. Canker sores have that very typical white depressed middle part. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/82 "2011-03-17T23:04:15Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Still, others will treat me like I’m some sort of leper no matter how I feel on the inside. God damn it. My romantic life is already sad enough, this just makes it worse Then fight THEIR ignorance. And remember that to a very large extent, we get what we expect. So you need to work on easing up on your own attitude about it, it will help enormously when you face other people’s. (And in this day and age, I would hope that condoms would be mandatory in every relationship, and the only way you might consider going without is when you are ready, following a long period of intimacy, to commit to monogamy. Until that point, I think there’s a case to be made that if you get this under good control and make sure that you never have sex when there is the slightest question in your mind that you might be having an outbreak, and you are religious about condom use, that you don’t have to announce it to anyone you have sex with before you have sex. And before anyone has a heart attack, I said I think there’s a case to be made. On both sides. Wait…this sounds like a poll! I believe I’ll make one. WITHOUT reference to you or this thread…) ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/83 "2011-03-17T23:30:32Z")
Look, it’s no big deal. I have oral herpes right smack in the middle of my upper lip. It flares up once every 12-24 months, usually in times of high stress combined with lack of sleep. I feel it coming on by a little swelling and a little tingling. I start on my supply of Acyclovir immediately, and the whole thing is resolved in about 10 days with just minor discomfort and a bit of social awkwardness as I have a little wound on my face. Other than that, it’s not a problem, not noticeable, not contagious, and I never think about it. 10 days of no kissing, no sharing food & drinks, and a bit of awkwardness once every year or two. Big deal. Just make sure during an outbreak that you and your hands stay clean clean clean. Don’t transmit the virus from its current location to other people or to other locations on your body … mouth, eyes, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/84 "2011-03-18T00:00:09Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > Look, it’s no big deal. I have oral herpes right smack in the middle of my upper lip. It’s estimated that 80% of the population has oral herpes. Next time you feel it coming on, IMMEDIATELY buy Bactine and RUB IT on the lesion…RUB RUB RUB it. Turns out Bactine is identical to the only known treatment for oral herpes that actually makes a difference, the name of which currently escapes me. (search the board for the word bactine and you’ll find the thread about it, or google “herpes” and “bactine”) I’ve used it, and it’s about as close to a miracle drug as I’ve ever encountered. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/85 "2011-03-18T01:38:08Z")
> [@](#): > > I still had to throw another pair of underwear away though. Get some maxi pads. Cheaper to throw away than undies. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/86 "2011-03-18T01:53:48Z")
trying to picture a person who is embarrassed to see a doctor buy a maxi pad for his own use. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/87 "2011-03-18T03:18:11Z")
He doesn’t have to announce that it’s for his own use. Most people, if they notice a man buying pads at all, will assume that he’s buying them for some female in his life. ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/88 "2011-03-18T03:51:38Z")
oh i didn’t mean that he couldn’t or shouldn’t do it, just that it would be amusing as a Seinfeld episode. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/89 "2011-03-18T03:56:09Z")
Some thoughts 1. Bactracian is an anti-bacterial, not an anti-viral, so if it works that actually argues against it being HSV 2. When was your last sexual encounter? I think HSV usually presents itself within 2 wks of transmission 3. HSV-2 usually resolves within a few years of the initial outbreak, I think. 4. It’s almost certainly not HSV-1 in your genital area. It’s true that herpes viruses can present in different areas, but HSV-1 doesn’t usually present in the genital area. I agree that he should have taken a culture, but obv. viruses cannot be cultured, so if he suspected that it was viral, there’s no reason to culture. Also, many doctors with actual offices and lab facilities don’t culture, so I can see why a doc in a mall wouldn’t. Maybe he wouldn’t even have somewhere to send it? ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/90 "2011-03-18T04:19:59Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > I have to say I don’t know how doctors make the distinctions between skin conditions. When you look at the photos (GAH!) everything starts to just blend together into redness, bumps, pustules and general grossitude. To a large extent the diagnosis is made based on history rather than the appearance of the lesions. Also, for tricky situations, dermatologists (and possibly primary care docs) will stain and look under a microscope. To me it still all looks the same but to a trained eye that is a good way to differentiate. And, many docs if stumped will just go with the most likely thing, and if that treatment doesn’t work, the next most likely thing, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/91 "2011-03-18T04:58:48Z")
> [@Gestalt](#): > > Some thoughts > > 1. Bactracian is an anti-bacterial, not an anti-viral, so if it works that actually argues against it being HSV > 2. When was your last sexual encounter? I think HSV usually presents itself within 2 wks of transmission > 3. HSV-2 usually resolves within a few years of the initial outbreak, I think. > 4. It’s almost certainly not HSV-1 in your genital area. It’s true that herpes viruses can present in different areas, but HSV-1 doesn’t usually present in the genital area. > > I agree that he should have taken a culture, but obv. viruses cannot be cultured, so if he suspected that it was viral, there’s no reason to culture. > > Also, many doctors with actual offices and lab facilities don’t culture, so I can see why a doc in a mall wouldn’t. Maybe he wouldn’t even have somewhere to send it? Wow. Wrong on a whole lot of counts, here. HSV never “resolves itself” - it can persist as a latent infection and outbreaks can reappear at any time, but especially when the immune system is compromised. You can have either HSV-1 or HSV-2 in the genital area, even though HSV-2 is more common there. Infections with either virus will cause the same symptoms and can only be [differentiated by culture](http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003739.htm). Because, yes, you _can_ culture viruses. Or you can run a [PCR amplification](http://www.aruplab.com/guides/ug/tests/0060041.jsp) on the swab and look for HSV DNA. Specimen collection would be the same as for a bacterial culture, just a swab (the transport media will likely be different). Your assertion that “obv. viruses cannot be cultured” is completely wrong. You’re right on the bacitracin being antibacterial and not antiviral, though. The acyclovir pills are antiviral medication. ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/92 "2011-03-18T05:30:17Z")
I didn’t mean “resolve” in the sense of “cures”, but ppl who contract it in their twenties generally don’t still have outbreaks in their forties. _Generally_. HSV viruses track back along nerves and reside in their ganglia. Outbreaks occur in the areas in which those nerves supply. HSV-1 is simply generally not trophic for the genital area. Thanks for the correction on the culture. I was not aware that HSV was one of the viruses that can be intracellularly cultured. Although I would imagine that it’s much easier to run a PCR. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/93 "2011-03-18T11:04:24Z")
> [@Gestalt](#): > > Some thoughts > > 1. It’s almost certainly not HSV-1 in your genital area. It’s true that herpes viruses can present in different areas, but HSV-1 doesn’t usually present in the genital area. While rare, HSV-1 can, indeed, present in the genital areas. This is confirmed by the CDC fact sheet on genital herpes: [http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm](http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/94 "2011-03-18T20:25:33Z")
We’re just learning about this in medical microbiology, and here’s what the powerpoint has to say: > [@](#): > > Because of the life-long infection with significant ramifications for health, relationships, and pregnancy, laboratory diagnosis is recommended. Also only 70 - 95% of genital herpes infections are HSV-2, so HSV-1 is not all that uncommon. In light of this thread, I found this slide to be interesting: > [@](#): > > What They Think They Have\* > > Males > > Folliculitis > Jock itch > “Normal” itch > Zipper burn > Hemorrhoids > Allergy to condoms > Irritation > -Tight jeans > -Sexual intercourse > -Bike seat > Insect or spider bites > > Females > > Yeast infection > Vaginitis > Urinary tract infection > Menstrual complaint > Hemorrhoids > Heat rash > Urethral syndrome (may be on antibiotics) > Allergy to Condoms, Sperm, Spermicide, Elastic/pantyhose > Irritation > -Bike seat > -Shaving > -Douching > > \*Culture positive for HSV, Clin Microbiol Rev. 1999;12:1-8. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/95 "2011-03-18T20:31:04Z")
Alright, so the initial shock has worn off now and has been replaced by a gradual mounting anxiety as the follow up doctor’s visit looms closer. Assuming it’s the worst and I do have herpes, I need to know how to deal with it I’ve obviously touched things since I had this flare up a week ago, and for some time I thought it was nothing more than some broken skin. It’s definite that there are some herpes viruses in my house Should I wipe down the toilet seat every time I use it with water and soap from now on, or is it only when an outbreak occurs? Or at all? What about doorknobs? I’m sure I touched the wound last week, and a couple doorknobs afterward without washing. Would it be a good idea to wipe those down now? How long can the virus survive on a surface anyway? Can this be transmitted through kissing, sharing food/drinks, or spread through the washing machine to other clothes? I feel like a human germ factory…Can I never share food again? Are my underpants like poison to others now? What about cooking? If I wash my hands, can I still cook and handle food that other people can eat? Or am I doomed forever to a lonely prison of cooking for one? ☹ Is it just body fluid or are my nail clippings, hair, and dead skin also carriers as well? Not that anyone eats those or rubs them against their genitals, but these kinds of things shed off your body and is everywhere ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/96 "2011-03-18T20:48:58Z")
Holy shit dude, I know you’re freaking out and I’m sure it’s terrifying what you’re going through but just READ some of the informational links people have posted and you will see that, indeed, you will not have to live in a sterile bubble, never to so much as glance at another human. Do you see about 1 in every 4 adults doing that? You’re not a dirty untouchable, and neither are folks who have contracted herpes. Here are some links. I just googled “herpes”, and these are the first few hits you might want to read. Take a deep breath, and just read: > **[Genital Herpes - STD information from CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/)** > > Genital Herpes - STD Information from CDC. Facts, Statistics, Treatment, and Other Resources. > **[STD Facts - Genital Herpes](https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm)** > > Genital Herpes Fact Sheet from CDC. What is Herpes? How common is Herpes? How do people get Herpes? And more... > **[Herpes simplex](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes_simplex)** > > Herpes simplex is a viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus. Infections are categorized based on the part of the body infected.\[citation needed\] > Oral herpes involves the face or mouth. It may result in small blisters in groups often called cold sores or fever blisters or may just cause a sore throat. > Genital herpes, often simply known as herpes, involves the genitalia. It may have minimal symptoms or form blisters that break open and result in small ulcers. These typically heal ov... > **[Genital Herpes](https://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/default.htm)** > > Learn about genital herpes causes (HSV-1, HSV-2), symptoms, signs, information and treatment. Get the facts about this common STD caused by the herpes simplex virus. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/97 "2011-03-18T21:30:59Z")
Dude, it’s not Ebola, and it’s not HIV. Relax already. ---
**Author:** ![Tixenfleaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9a140/32.png) [@Tixenfleaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tixenfleaz)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/98 "2011-03-18T22:30:14Z")
**Rasa** ’s right. If it does turn out to be herpes, then you’re not alone. Statistically, you already know a mess of people who have it, unless you’re some kind of Morlock basement dweller. I’d take a dose of herpes over some deadly butt MRSA anyday. And again, you don’t even know for sure that you have it. I always liked Doug Stanhope’s take on it: “I am a player in this life, not a spectator. Herpes to me is like a skateboarder with a skinned knee.” ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/99 "2011-03-21T18:27:08Z")
So… how’s the taint? When is the follow up visit? Are you going to ask your doc to confirm the diagnosis to be sure? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815/100 "2011-03-21T22:13:17Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > Gotta any links on what and how to? I’d love a bidet, this sounds like a good second option. Looks like it’s time for my bimonthly free ad for bidets! [http://sanicare-bidets.stores.yahoo.net/acehsbidet3.html](http://sanicare-bidets.stores.yahoo.net/acehsbidet3.html) Costs $100, easy to install, changes your life forever. Best thing ever. We have one on each of our toilets. I like this much better than the hand-held shower-head type. (ETA: I make no money from this, I am just a huge fan and kind of proselytize about the damned things.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hemorrhoids-major-tmi-here-also-need-answer-fast/574815.md?page=6)