# Hera, Aphrodite, Athena **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 29, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088 "2013-11-29T17:58:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/21 "2013-11-30T00:29:33Z")
Hera, if for no toher reason than to try to make up for my boy’s\* birth. \*Not technically mine, but I taught the little scamp everything he knows. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/22 "2013-11-30T00:38:48Z")
Well, they’d all have to sign affidavits that they hadn’t ever done porn. That takes Aphrodite out of the picture. Also, she’d have to fulfill her duties as goodwill ambassadres for the pageant, and as Goddess of War, Athena wouldn’t be allowed entry into some of the more progressive countries. And Hera: married to her brother? Jesus Christ lady, what do you think the tabloids will do with that? This is for “Most Beautiful Goddess,” not Miss Arkansas. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/23 "2013-11-30T02:44:15Z")
Athena, and I’d follow her wise advice for dealing with the jealousy of the others. Besides, Aphrodite only ever has one thing on her mind, for about twenty minutes at a time and I’ve never thought that Hera was all that, in the looks department. Don’t tell her I said so! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/24 "2013-11-30T02:58:13Z")
Hera. Power + not having a goddess whose entire fucking portfolio might as well be revenge against those she believes to have wronged her pissed at me. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/25 "2013-11-30T03:06:48Z")
Always pick the smart girl. After picking Athena and taking my gift of wisdom, I’d kill myself, proceed to the underworld and then escape. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/26 "2013-11-30T04:10:42Z")
Hera, for the power and she had a seriosuly bad attitude when it came to losing. I don’t need Aphrodite, I have mrAru and we have been happy together for better than 25 years all told. I don’t need brains, I have a good education and am happy where I am, I don’t need to be a pundit or wit while blogging. Power, on the other hand … I could be Empress of the World and actually try to make some positive changes - this is assuming that under the accepted by all clause that everybody on earth would accept me as legitimate and actually obey the new laws [or at least long enough to get some sensible regional governments in place and kill off a bunch of selected warlords that are causing a whole lot of issues. Somalia, North Korea and Islamic types I am looking at you …] ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/27 "2013-11-30T04:19:38Z")
I always liked owls. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/28 "2013-11-30T04:50:31Z")
Aphrodite of course. She was the boss of love, beauty, sex, success and military victory. Woman after my own heart. Or wait, was that Venus, I never can figure these things out, damn that Ameillus Paulus. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/29 "2013-11-30T07:26:13Z")
Athena is my favorite of all goddesses, but going strictly by the physical, it’s Aphrodite. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/30 "2013-11-30T08:28:17Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Ask Athena, the “wise” one, who turned Arachne into a spider for the presumptuous crime of, um, getting raped. By Zeus, so not even a guy you can say no to, exactly. The version I’ve always heard is about claiming to be a better weaver than anybody else, human or not; for some reason, this angered the goddess of crafts (hey, she was wise, but nobody says she suffered fools). For once, no gods’ dicks were involved. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/31 "2013-11-30T09:00:32Z")
I’d rather have [Apollo](http://dancetabs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/pk-apollo-chase-finlay-jump_1000.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/32 "2013-11-30T10:28:44Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > The version I’ve always heard is about claiming to be a better weaver than anybody else, human or not; for some reason, this angered the goddess of crafts (hey, she was wise, but nobody says she suffered fools). For once, no gods’ dicks were involved. D’oh, you’re right. I was thinking of Medusa (and she was apparently raped by Neptune, not Zeus. There’s a switch !). But even in yours, utterly destroying someone over bragging ? Seems a bit extreme. But then I’m not a god, maybe they get really bored. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/33 "2013-11-30T11:06:35Z")
Who wouldn’t get bored? Hell, you’re a GOD; even Halo isn’t going to be diverting after the first five minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/34 "2013-11-30T13:03:53Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > D’oh, you’re right. I was thinking of Medusa (and she was apparently raped by Neptune, not Zeus. There’s a switch !). But even in yours, utterly destroying someone over bragging ? Seems a bit extreme. But then I’m not a god, maybe they get really bored. Yeah, comparing oneself to the gods in any way was a very bad idea. Look what happened to Bellerophon. > [@Antigen](#): > > Can I tell them I’m into dudes and that I think Zeus is super hot? Ask Ganymede if that’s a good plan. “Cup bearer,” sure. He’s cupping _something_ at regular intervals for all eternity, you can be sure of that. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/35 "2013-11-30T13:10:03Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Who wouldn’t get bored? Hell, you’re a GOD; even Halo isn’t going to be diverting after the first five minutes. Yeah, but then you could spend the rest of eternity smiting people who brag about how good they are at Halo. l to r: [Athena, Aphrodite, Artemis](http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100904140061/hercxena/images/5/50/Apple_10.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/36 "2013-11-30T13:37:08Z")
Fine, I guess I’ll vote for Athena and hope that her advice and martial arts skills can keep me alive when the other jealous goddesses come at me. And hopefully, with all the wisdom I’ll gain, I’ll learn to stop attending the kind of parties where goddesses show up to fuck with the guests. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/37 "2013-11-30T13:51:37Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > Ask Ganymede if that’s a good plan. “Cup bearer,” sure. He’s cupping _something_ at regular intervals for all eternity, you can be sure of that. Indeed. And Zeus doesn’t strike me as the kind of bloke who’d have the common goddamn courtesy of giving a reach around. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/38 "2013-11-30T14:32:06Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I’m pretty sure that if Francis suddenly decided that I was the rightful Pope, a few (hundred) million other people would have something else to say about it. Some offices cannot be given away like that. Frankly, I wouldn’t want them in the first place. So no fame and high office for me. I’ll go with the intelligence and physical boosts. Lord knows, at 51, the physical could use it. That was just a suggestion, not saying you’d be smart to pick it. Personally I’d go with royalty, seems easier. Ain’t no physical boost with Athena. > [@Antigen](#): > > Fine, I guess I’ll vote for Athena and hope that her advice and martial arts skills can keep me alive when the other jealous goddesses come at me. You’re thinking of Ares for the physical and violent aspects of war, Athena covers the tactical nous. Think Sun Tzu, not Bruce Lee. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/39 "2013-11-30T19:14:25Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > And hopefully, with all the wisdom I’ll gain, I’ll learn to stop attending the kind of parties where goddesses show up to fuck with the guests. If either Artemis, Aphrodite or Hera are there to fuck with the guests, said guests would be having enough trouble from assorted husbands, usual-lovers, brothers, and even the horny ladies themselves, to make the Odyssey look like a day trip. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088/40 "2013-11-30T20:18:35Z")
> [@Mr.Kobayashi](#): > > Athena…well, she has what we’d call a nice personality. She’s the smartest, but her looks are nothing to really write home about. Perhaps, but keep in mind we are talking _goddesses_ here. Athena might look relatively plain when compared with Hera and Aphrodite but, from the perspective of a mortal male, she’d still be more attractive than 99.9% of the women between the ages of 18 and 49. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hera-aphrodite-athena/675088.md?page=3)