# Herbie Vs. General Lee..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274 "2005-06-21T23:52:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/1 "2005-06-21T23:52:13Z")
Okay, lets assume that the “magic” that allows Herbie to self-drive has also been cast on the General Lee (the Hemi Orange Dodge Charger that was the _real_ star of the Dukes of Hazzard (both the TV series and the upcoming movie) 2 competitions; the Drag Race…i see the General winning here, don’t care how much “magic” is under Herbie’s hood, it can’t compete with the mighty Hemi 440, the Herbster’s going to be coughing in the General’s tire smoke, sorry but there’s no replacement for displacement… the “Fight” (Demolition derby)…once again, the General wins here, but it’ll be a close fight, Herbie’s got the maneuverability advantage, he can easily out-turn the General (the Charger may have been known for it’s tire-blistering straight-line acceleration, but it was _not_ known for it’s prowess in the twisties), but the General has another _major_ thing going in his favor… weight and inertia, the General is a LOT heavier than Herbie, so all it’ll take is one crushing blow to his rear section to take out the motor, no power, no motion, the tricky part is _catching_ that maneuverable little Bug… so, who are you betting on, the Mighty Mopar Musclecar (abbreviated as MMM…), or The ‘Love’ Bug… what other good Herbie Vs. General competitions would you set up? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/2 "2005-06-21T23:53:09Z")
The Batmobile beats both of them, if it’s prepared. 😉😃 ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2005, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/3 "2005-06-21T23:54:59Z")
Oh, and i forgot to add, the winner goes up against K.I.T.T. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/4 "2005-06-22T03:34:19Z")
I think the competition between Herbie and G.L. should play to their strengths. How about a race to save the family farm from an evil foreign-based corporation while eluding the trio of dimwitted bank robbers that wants to use them as a getaway car and simultaneously finding the lost, heartbreakingly-cute puppy a good home, preferably with a lonely blind moppet of a child? Time limit: one hour, fifty-seven minutes. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/5 "2005-06-22T04:21:03Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > … it can’t compete with the mighty Hemi 440… That’s true but Hemi engines are 426 cid. I’d give any performance wins to GL but Herbie outsmarts every time. And wouldn’t Christine be involved, too? ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/6 "2005-06-22T04:27:27Z")
If both cars had the same cute magic Herbie has, Herbie would win hands down. Herbie has sort of a pre-teen flirty side to him (he winks at cute girls and makes little “bleep-bleep” sounds) and he does this while going about his business. They wouldn’t be able to break the General Lee away from humping Daisy Dukes Jeep. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/7 "2005-06-22T15:01:59Z")
I would think The General could take the long jump competition. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/8 "2005-06-22T15:08:10Z")
Which one could deliver the most Coors beer from Texarkana to Atlanta in 24 hours? ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/9 "2005-06-22T16:18:04Z")
I don’t know much about the two competitors, but I imagine them giving a verbal smackdown in car-horn language before the match. Although I don’t really know how much you can say in a “language” that consists only of the first twelve notes of _Dixie_. > [@MacTech](#): > > Oh, and i forgot to add, the winner goes up against K.I.T.T. The General Lee’s best for that job. K.I.T.T. _is_ black, after all. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/10 "2005-06-22T16:30:59Z")
A few other competitions… Fuel Economy; Herbie by a longshot Burnout competition; The General melts his tires off the rim, winner; GL “Cute” competition; Herbie “Intimidation” competition; GL long-term reliability competition; a close tie, but Herbie has the edge off-roading; GL and introducing special guest competitor; Megaweapon! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fringe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b5a626/32.png) [@Fringe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fringe)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/11 "2005-06-22T19:27:40Z")
I think the A-Team van would trump them all. Hands down. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/12 "2005-06-22T20:02:32Z")
Clearly, this contest boils down to Lindsay Lohan in a racing jumpsuit vs. Jessica Simpson in Daisy Duke shorts. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/13 "2005-06-22T20:22:50Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Which one could deliver the most Coors beer from Texarkana to Atlanta in 24 hours? Herbie would refuse to deliver beer, because he’s kid-friendly. After the match with KITT, the winner has to go on to fight Optimus Prime (the real deal, not that National Guard guy). ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/14 "2005-06-22T21:07:27Z")
> [@MacTech](#): > > Oh, and i forgot to add, the winner goes up against K.I.T.T. > 😉 What, not K.A.R.R.? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/15 "2005-06-23T02:34:44Z")
Okay, using my extremely unscientific testbed of Gran Turismo 4, here’s the acceleration results, each car is raced _once_ no re-runs for best time, _NO_ nitrous '49 Bug - 81 HP; 1/4 mi dragstrip 17.59 seconds @ 79 MPH (fully upgraded w/ all the upgrades) '70 Charger - 380 HP (Hemi Orange, if it matters, which it doesent, so anyway) 13.294 seconds @108 MPH (bone stock) '70 Charger - 689 HP (fully upgraded) 12.084 seconds @132 MPH it’s clear the General is the clear winner in the 1/4 mile drag 😉 and since i had the game booted up anyway and was bored, here are some other notable cars… DeLorean DMC-12 - 448 HP (fully modified) 11.85@127 MPH Dodge Viper - 927 HP (from the “Viper” TV show 😉 , fully modified) 9.877@153 MPH James Bond’s Lotus Esprit Turbo - 436 HP; 11.366@131 MPH ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/16 "2005-06-23T13:47:03Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Clearly, this contest boils down to Lindsay Lohan in a racing jumpsuit vs. Jessica Simpson in Daisy Duke shorts. Which really means it boils down to how low that racing jumpsuit zipper is unzipped on Ms. Lohan. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/17 "2005-06-23T13:57:50Z")
Herbie’s got krisma. Bags of it. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/18 "2005-06-23T14:27:15Z")
So, is “krisma” what you get when you cross “krishna” with “charisma”? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/19 "2005-06-23T20:01:02Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > Which really means it boils down to how low that racing jumpsuit zipper is unzipped on Ms. Lohan. I think Ms. Lohan wins that one; Mrs. Simpson is not a real person but a Barbie golem. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274/20 "2005-06-23T20:37:22Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > So, is “krisma” what you get when you cross “krishna” with “charisma”? 😉 No, it’s… Ahahaha. \*\*Ponder Stibbons \*\* not recognizing a Discworld joke when he sees one? You almost got me there, buddy. Nice try. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herbie-vs-general-lee/309274.md?page=2)