# Here are some public transit rules, douchebags. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 25, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029 "2012-05-25T01:10:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/41 "2012-05-25T19:31:32Z")
Yes, I’m very impressed with that massive hog you’re packing good sir, but would you mind closing your fucking legs whlie I’m sitting next to you? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/42 "2012-05-25T19:33:25Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Rarely happens in today’s world of texting and apps. Everybody is completely absorbed by some mindless game or in texting their latest “OMG and he was like so like LOL!!!”, and so totally disconnected from the world around them that to reconnect would require an open-handed slap to the ear to get their attention. I once said to just such a young woman who took up a handicapped seat and spent the whole bus trip texting and not noticing that elderly and handicapped people were getting on the bus “Having your head in cyberspace is the only think worse than having it up your ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/43 "2012-05-25T20:44:38Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > What I don’t get is why the bus driver lets people exit through the front door, keeping boarding passengers waiting in the rain, in the snow, or just plain waiting. Front door is for IN, rear door is for out–what’s so fucking hard to understand? Not in Seattle, because you variously have to pay as you get on, as you get off, or not at all. So as you can probably imagine, it’s confusing and a lot of people always use the front door so they can figure out what the hell they have to do that time. ---
**Author:** ![LawMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@LawMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LawMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/44 "2012-05-25T21:54:42Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > No, she said a drink should precede a fucking. 😛 > > But I concur with all of the rules above. Can I add something about teenaged boys whose testicles are apparently so massive that they must sit with their legs open at a 120-degree angle thus blocking the seats on both sides of them? Jeezus, kid, you’re not fooling anyone. Move your damned leg. Teenaged boys? I thought it was everyone of the male persuasion who ever sat next to me on any bus, train, or aeromobile. Also, I want to hit the people who stand in the doorways upside the haid. And the escalator people are just oblivious. Actually, that describes lots of people, everywhere, all the time. Maybe most. The world would be a better place if people would pay the fuck attention. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2012, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/45 "2012-05-25T23:54:07Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > When the massive crush of people who just left the crowded train have exited and are now all making their way up the one staircase, that’s not the best time to sit on the steps playing with your phone. Oops, I accidentally slammed my bag into your head. So sorry about that. Ha. I’ve done this more times than I should. My bag makes a great barrier and defensive block that I can feign ignorance to it smacking people. A little less confrontational than an elbow, just as effective! ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/46 "2012-05-26T21:16:50Z")
In Toronto, if not elsewhere as well, never stand near the yellow line in subway stations. You may as well have a sign on your back saying “Throw me in front of a train.” ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/47 "2012-05-27T01:50:33Z")
> [@Stendhal\_Syndrome](#): > > And please mind your children. > I have children of my own, but I don’t let them pull strange people’s hair on public transit and no…I don’t think it is cute. > > And other’s with kids…I know it gets packed in there sometimes, but please try not to shove the goddamned stroller into my legs, over and over again. Most strollers come with brakes, apply it and let it be. Say it twice! Or allow them to play acrobatics in the chair next to someone where every 5 seconds they’re wiggling all around, little feet flipping out and kicking the person next to them, and then get annoyed because the person they’re using as a jungle gym has the gall to not want to be climbed all over. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/48 "2012-05-27T01:52:31Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > That happened to me once in Korea. Constant bawk bawk bawking. Finally someone shut the damn thing up. (this one’s for Curlcoat). You sure that wasn’t the MASH series finale? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/49 "2012-05-27T02:35:15Z")
> [@Taomist](#): > > Add Rule 4: > > -Stick to the right when walking up stairs, down stairs, on escalators, walking ANYWHERE in a mass transit area. ESPECIALLY if you’re just going to let the escalator carry you up; do NOT block the people behind you from moving past just so you can chat with your friend next to you. Or, don’t [walk on the escalator](http://www.slate.com/articles/life/walking/2012/04/walking_in_america_what_scientists_know_about_how_pedestrians_really_behave_.html): > [@Slate](#): > > And when people walk on an escalator, the capacity is, a bit counterintuitively, reduced, because of the subsequent shuffling—and accidents. (Escalator walking was actually banned in Japan.) Sounds like walking on the escalator is one of those things that improve your time, but reduce the overall efficiency of the system. The Slate series on walking is interesting, if anyone follows the link. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/50 "2012-05-27T02:42:43Z")
[quote=“Chefguy, post:37, topic:623029”] And while we’re at it, drivers who jack-rabbit away from bus stops before passengers are seated or at least have a grip on something should be fired immediately. I saw one limping vet catapulted down the aisle by one asshole driver. /QUOTE] It’s part of the [training](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5TTA4f7Q3E). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/51 "2012-05-27T13:41:54Z")
From the perspective of a pedestrian who sometimes has to walk around transit patrons, I’ll add a couple more rules: 1. Don’t block the fucking sidewalk. Look around you - is there a way for people to walk through? Is it a busy downtown sidewalk? Then leave a path. 2. Be aware when you’re getting off a bus that there might be a pedestrian on the sidewalk - don’t just walk right into them. Actually, this applies to getting on the bus, too - don’t stampede over a pedestrian because you see your bus coming. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/52 "2012-05-27T13:42:56Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > > [@Chefguy](#): > > > > And while we’re at it, drivers who jack-rabbit away from bus stops before passengers are seated or at least have a grip on something should be fired immediately. I saw one limping vet catapulted down the aisle by one asshole driver. > > It’s part of the [training](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5TTA4f7Q3E). My father-in-law, the city bus driver, thinks that’s hilarious. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/53 "2012-05-27T22:53:37Z")
–Don’t bring smelly food onto the bus. (Here in Montreal, the bus I usually take is right near a McDonald’s. At certain times of day, you can almost guarantee that at least one person is going to smell up the bus with McDonald’s food. I wish Montreal would follow NYC and Vancouver and ban food on public transit.) –Don’t play music too loud in your headphones. Also, for goodness sake, DON’T play music WITHOUT headphones! People keep doing this on the buses and metros/subways here in Montreal. It’s strictly against the rules, but they never get in trouble for it, so they keep doing it. And I always hate the music they play. –Please, no long and loud cellphone conversations, especially before 7 AM and after 11 PM, unless maybe you’re talking to someone in another time zone and it’s the only time you can reach them. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/54 "2012-05-27T23:20:03Z")
I heard some strange words uttered on public transit Friday. A woman ended a brief but testy phone call with “Can we talk about this later? I’m on the train.” ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/55 "2012-05-27T23:22:02Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I heard some strange words uttered on public transit Friday. A woman ended a brief but testy phone call with “Can we talk about this later? I’m on the train.” Hmm, at least she ended the call instead of going on in great detail in front of everyone? ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/56 "2012-05-27T23:37:23Z")
Well, it sounds a little like she only ended the call because she _wanted_ to, and had a ready excuse to do so. Who knows what she would’ve done had she wanted to continue the conversation. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/57 "2012-05-28T00:08:50Z")
–Also: don’t put your feet on the seats. In nearly every metro (subway) car I enter, if the car isn’t completely full and there are empty seats available, one or more people will be putting their feet up on the empty seats. They do this even when it’s snowy or rainy out, making the seats filthy. ---
**Author:** ![ThisSpaceForRent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thisspaceforrent/32/345_2.png) [@ThisSpaceForRent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisSpaceForRent)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/58 "2012-05-28T02:48:22Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > If you’re waiting for the bus or streetcar and you need to show a pass or pay, FUCKING HAVE IT READY. Don’t step onto the bus and start digging around in your monstrous purse or all fifteen of your coat pockets, looking for the fare or the pass, when there are ten or fifteen crabby pissed-off angry people behind you waiting to get on. > > This goes double or triple when it’s pouring rain or well below zero outside. Sorry MOL…this is #1… ok…what is OLD?..i ride metro every day and can say i follow all the aforementioned…RULES ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/59 "2012-05-28T13:38:48Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > Hmm, at least she ended the call instead of going on in great detail in front of everyone? Well right, that’s what was so shocking about it – that someone shut the fuck up on the phone instead of detailing their private dramas loudly on the train. > [@ThisSpaceForRent](#): > > ok…what is OLD?..i ride metro every day and can say i follow all the aforementioned…RULES I dunno. Old enough that I’d give up my seat for them. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029/60 "2012-05-28T14:08:02Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > –Also: don’t put your feet on the seats. In nearly every metro (subway) car I enter, if the car isn’t completely full and there are empty seats available, one or more people will be putting their feet up on the empty seats. They do this even when it’s snowy or rainy out, making the seats filthy. Reminds me… Saturday last week, a bunch of drunk 20sh guys got on the train; one of them was clearly of a philosophical bent, he kept explaining the mysteries of the universe to his friends, the 30sh woman sitting across the aisle and me. At one point, another guy got on, sat in our area and plopped his feet on the seat across from himself. And the philosopher stared at him and said “dude, I’m drunk and I’m loud, but YOU are a pig,” and shoved the guy’s feet off the seat. The pig went to reply but suddently realized that the other guys scattered in the area were with Mr Loud, they had just taken spread out seats rather than clumping up… Apparently having a bunch of 20yo guys stare at you intently is a very good deterrent against putting your feet up. It’s not one I think should be widely implemented, but at the time it was funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-some-public-transit-rules-douchebags/623029.md?page=4)