# Here are the defenses offered (so far) for Trump's “Grab them by the pussy" comment **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2016, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029 "2016-10-09T03:55:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ganthet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de0a6/32.png) [@ganthet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ganthet)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/21 "2016-10-09T05:40:23Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Oh please. Many many people have said things slike this. In my younger days when I was with the guys, we’d say things somewhat like that. I know I’ve sad things like, I’d jump her bones, and the like. And women - many of them have said similar things, like Hey, I’d wrap my legs around that, or I’d f### him in a heartbeat. > > Who doesn’t agree with this, and why not? A lot of the defenses seem to be variations of this - “when I was younger, I might have said something like this” or “frat guys talk like this all the time.” Except the statements were said by Trump in 2006 when he was 60, hardly a young guy who may not have “known better” and hardly a guy who is currently in a fraternity. Particularly since he married Melania in 2005 and she was pregnant with their first child in 2006. Saying statements like these “with the guys” also implies that these sorts of things would be said around friends who might understand/agree whether or not you meant to objectify and debase women. Friends would additionally be more willing to keep such statements private. Trump said these things openly around a television personality who he did not seem to know that well or be personal friends with. Basically admitting that Trump is a sociopathic asshole is one thing. But openly being a sociopathic asshole who freely expresses and relishes his privilege to do so also, among other things, indicates colossally poor judgment. We probably shouldn’t be electing a younger version of you or a frat guy to the presidency. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/22 "2016-10-09T05:40:34Z")
All I am surprised by is that apparently on a scale of “bad” crass comments apparently rank much higher than racism, xenophobia, islamophobia, intentions to order mass deportations, friendship with dictators etc etc. ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/23 "2016-10-09T05:42:34Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > No of course not! That is not what I am saying. If he reaches for a woman’s crotch, and if she sees him reach and she does not pull back or turn or say no but instead stands there and lets him do it, and after he has touched her crotch she does not act or say No, then hasn’t she allowed it? Isn’t it consensual? No. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/24 "2016-10-09T05:42:37Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > I fully agree with this. > > In my ost that you quoted, I said she permits the kiss. She has allowed it. But that’s a hypothetical, you seem to be okay with what actually happened and (again I haven’t followed up with any of it) _did_ the women pull away or say no (not that it really matters)? We’re any of them employees that were concerned about job security (getting fired? getting raises?)? Even if they did pull away, the likely did it after he kissed or grabbed them. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/25 "2016-10-09T05:44:37Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > All I am surprised by is that apparently on a scale of “bad” crass comments apparently rank much higher than racism, xenophobia, islamophobia, intentions to order mass deportations, friendship with dictators etc etc. There. Are. Not. Just. Crass. Comments. He advocated sexual assault. And, yes, that is worse than all those other things you described. There’s a reason why sexual assault is a crime, while those other things are not. He wasn’t just rude. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/26 "2016-10-09T05:46:02Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Also, his words were him explaining what he does/did, so if it’s words were offensives, shouldn’t his actions be as well? I haven’t really kept up with the media story surrounding this, but haven’t a few women come forward basically confirming that he actually does do this. Just go up and grab them or kiss them? Not even a ‘nice shoes’ first? > > BTW, if someone takes your wallet and you don’t fight them off or explicitly tell them not to, does that mean you consented to it? Good point, makes me stop and think. Sure his words are similar to things many have said and/or thought, but yes his actions have the weight of his power behind them. So, not likely consensual. Thanks for that, yes, it’s an abuse of his power. That applies to the crotch grabbing I posted a few minutes ago that I thought was okay. Again, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/27 "2016-10-09T05:46:16Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > All I am surprised by is that apparently on a scale of “bad” crass comments apparently rank much higher than racism, xenophobia, islamophobia, intentions to order mass deportations, friendship with dictators etc etc. That, more than anything, is probably just due to it being the latest thing to come up. Tomorrow something even more minor (politically speaking) could come up and it would over shadow this. In the age of the internet, TMZ, 24 hour news stations etc, things move fast and people tend to talk about what’s going on in the last few days. ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/28 "2016-10-09T05:46:52Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Good point, makes me stop and think. > > Sure his words are similar to things many have said and/or thought, but yes his actions have the weight of his power behind them. So, not likely consensual. Thanks for that, yes, it’s an abuse of his power. That applies to the crotch grabbing I posted a few minutes ago that I thought was okay. > > Again, thank you. I’m very glad that this bit of ignorance has been successfully fought 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/29 "2016-10-09T05:47:08Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > But that’s a hypothetical, you seem to be okay with what actually happened and (again I haven’t followed up with any of it) _did_ the women pull away or say no (not that it really matters)? We’re any of them employees that were concerned about job security (getting fired? getting raises?)? Even if they did pull away, the likely did it after he kissed or grabbed them. See my post at #26. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/30 "2016-10-09T05:49:27Z")
> [@Junior\_Spaceman](#): > > I’m very glad that this bit of ignorance has been successfully fought 🙂 Yes, I let my understanding of his words of Hey she’s hot, I’d F that get away towards thinking his actions were consensual. Thanks folks, a good conversation here. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/31 "2016-10-09T05:50:29Z")
> [@Junior\_Spaceman](#): > > No. Agree, see post 26. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/32 "2016-10-09T05:51:05Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Good point, makes me stop and think. > > Sure his words are similar to things many have said and/or thought, but yes his actions have the weight of his power behind them. So, not likely consensual. Thanks for that, yes, it’s an abuse of his power. That applies to the crotch grabbing I posted a few minutes ago that I thought was okay. > > Again, thank you. Good to hear. I stay away from politics, but I always encourage people (be it in politics or anything else) to try arguing the other side. If you can fight for the other side (even if you don’t believe in it), it can give you a better ability to fight for your side. However, if you can let your guard down just a little, sometimes you can see that maybe you’re not right just because you’ve already dug your heels in. And, again, not just in politics. Hell, at work, I spend a lot of time going back and forth with a (stubborn) co-worker that helps me fix a lot of mechanical stuff. Same thing, sometimes I just have to mentally pretend like I’m on his side trying to convince myself that he’s right and I’m wrong. Doing that, even for a few minutes can make a huge difference, either in making me say ‘nope, he’s way wrong, and for these specific reasons’ or ‘well, I guess that does actually make some sense’. ETA, and on a totally unrelated matter, the sooner you do this, even if it’s something like tracking down a hydraulic leak or fixing a deli slicer, the less awkward it is to say ‘wait a minute, hold up…I think you’re right, let’s try it that way’. ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/33 "2016-10-09T05:51:47Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > Good point, makes me stop and think. > > Sure his words are similar to things many have said and/or thought, but yes his actions have the weight of his power behind them. So, not likely consensual. Thanks for that, yes, it’s an abuse of his power. That applies to the crotch grabbing I posted a few minutes ago that I thought was okay. > > Again, thank you. Good show. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/34 "2016-10-09T05:53:42Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > You’ve never thought or said things like that? _ **Never ever?** _ If you did, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Most normal people get horny, and some vebalize it. I have never, ever boasted/gloated about making sexual moves on a married person, nor would I. I don’t have a daughter, but if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t be condoning - in a public forum - some old lech referring to her as a piece of ass. So, no - I have never thought or said things like that. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/35 "2016-10-09T05:54:36Z")
> [@ganthet](#): > > Trump said these things openly around a television personality who he did not seem to know that well or be personal friends with. See post #7, about career politician. ---
**Author:** ![coremelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@coremelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coremelt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/36 "2016-10-09T05:56:02Z")
Yes Trump is a disgusting sexual predator. But another thing, it’s beyond fucked up that he still thinks such antics are amusing as a 60 year old (age when he said this). What a pathetic loser man-child. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/37 "2016-10-09T06:02:50Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > You’ve never thought or said things like that? _ **Never ever?** _ If you did, it doesn’t make you a bad person. Most normal people get horny, and some vebalize it. > [@CairoCarol](#): > > I have never, ever boasted/gloated about making sexual moves on a married person, nor would I. > > I don’t have a daughter, but if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t be condoning - in a public forum - some old lech referring to her as a piece of ass. > > So, no - I have never thought or said things like that. And many people, like you, do not. My wife does not, and I’m pretty sure she never _ **ever** _ did. She is a ‘nice’ girl. While I, yes I am a nice guy, while in my youth I was a young Marine and there was some lockerroom language back then. Today, in the office (white collar job), there have been a guy or two who talk that way. I do not condone it. ---
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/38 "2016-10-09T06:09:35Z")
> [@Bullitt](#): > > So? Trump is not a career politician. Many career politicians learn early on (I imagine) to guard their words and actions. > > Still - so what? True his words are offensive. If my words were ever taped and replayed, I’d be apologizing for them. > > So what? Well that’s why it’s scandalous. We elect lecherous old farts all the time. It’s a scandal when it’s someone running on the right. ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/39 "2016-10-09T06:13:58Z")
> [@octopus](#): > > Well that’s why it’s scandalous. We elect lecherous old farts all the time. It’s a scandal when it’s someone running on the right. ???..Gary Hart was on the right? I had forgot that Bill Clinton’s impeachment vote happened when he was a GOP member. I think this is a little bit of confirmation bias going on in your argument. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2016, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029/40 "2016-10-09T06:19:17Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > ???..Gary Hart was on the right? > > I had forgot that Bill Clinton’s impeachment vote happened when he was a GOP member. > > I think this is a little bit of confirmation bias going on in your argument. And don’t forget that staunch Republican Anthony Weiner! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-are-the-defenses-offered-so-far-for-trumps-grab-them-by-the-pussy-comment/768029.md?page=3)