# Here comes the Bullshit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 13, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307 "2003-01-13T15:43:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/1 "2003-01-13T15:43:07Z")
With a capital “B”. Yes, they’re coming out of the woodwork now, the presidential candidates for 2004. I want to restore America to its former greatness … blah blah blah … I have a plan to fix Social Security … yadda yadda yadda … the American people have suffered long enough … hubba hubba hubba … I will be president of all the people … [cough] except atheists [cough] … and I will yackity yackity yackity… read my lips Who believes this shit? What do they depend on, constant turnover of bright-eyed eighteen-year-olds replacing old people who know better but are dying? If you dickheads want to do this, fix that, and make so-and-so affordable for all Americans, _ **THEN WHY THE HELL HAVEN’T YOU?!** _ You’ve been in the Senate for forty-eleven years. You say the same crap and break the same promises every four years. I wish you had Liar-Liar hexes on you. Just for once, I’d like to hear you give a speech like this: I want to use my power and influence to increase my wealth. I want to serve the needs of those who provide me the most financial assistance. I really can’t do anything any better than the people before me, but I just want to be called “Mr. President” and hold the power to interrupt prime-time TV. Your life won’t be measurably better when my term is finished, and if it is, it’s a coincidence. I think all of you are idiots. My smile is practiced. And my word is meaningless. I can’t possibly keep all these promises, but I know they’re what you want to hear. I have all kinds of plans, but I know they won’t work. Right now, I’m very concerned about everything you’re complaining about, but when I become president, I’ll avoid you like the plague, pretend I don’t hear you, and answer your questions with jabberwocky. So, vote for me. You might as well. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/2 "2003-01-13T15:47:43Z")
that was a great fake speech there. Trouble is, if anyone ever said that, they wouldn’t get elected. You can’t expect the voters to reward truth-telling now… so…youre voting Libertarian, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/3 "2003-01-13T16:02:39Z")
I guess so. At least their bullshit is more original. > [@](#): > > I want to get the federal government completely out of every area where it’s made such a mess — health care, education, law enforcement, welfare, foreign aid, corporate welfare, highway boondoggles, farm subsidies. Not only are these programs unconstitutional, they do tremendous damage to our lives. > I want to make the federal government so small you won’t pay any income tax. (The tariffs and excise taxes already being collected are enough to finance the constitutional functions of government.) > I want to free you immediately and completely from the Social Security system. I want to sell off government assets to finance private retirement accounts for anyone now dependent on Social Security — so you and I and every other American can immediately stop paying the 15% Social Security tax. > I want to end the nightmare of Prohibition by stopping the insane War on Drugs. At least 90% of the invasions of your civil liberties over the last 30 years have been justified by the Drug War. You may have no interest in drugs, but the government still snoops in your bank account, monitors your email, and claims the power to search and seize your property without due process. > I want to restore completely your unconditional right to keep and bear any weapon necessary to defend yourself and your family. We can’t end gun violence with new laws or by enforcing the laws on the books now. The gun laws are the principal cause of gun violence, so we must repeal those laws. > I don’t want to appoint Supreme Court judges who are “strict constructionists” or who divine “original intent.” I want to appoint judges who can read the plain language of the Constitution — who understand that when the Constitution says “Congress shall make no law,” it means Congress shall make no law. I want judges who will strike down government programs that are not authorized by the Constitution. Harry Browne, LP candidate, 2000 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/4 "2003-01-13T16:14:47Z")
It’s a shame you don’t have the [Monster Raving Loony Party](http://www.omrlp.com/) to vote for in the US. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/5 "2003-01-13T16:16:34Z")
BTW, I realise my post might look like I’m comparing the OMRLP to Libertarianism. I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/6 "2003-01-13T16:18:51Z")
That’s nice, **Lib**. So do you have any cites regarding how many promises candidates keep after they come into office? Like a percentage or something? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/7 "2003-01-13T16:25:09Z")
> [@](#): > > If a politician ever ran for president under a slogan such as “Harlan Frubert: Basically, He Wants Attention,” I would quit my job to work for his campaign. - Dave Barry ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/8 "2003-01-13T16:28:08Z")
When making love women like to hear the words “I love you”. People like to be lied to when they’re being screwed. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/9 "2003-01-13T16:35:26Z")
Nuerotik, One of my dream “after-I’ve-won-the-lottery” projects is to have a website that tracked such things. Campaign promises vs. results, for one thing. And honest analyses of congressional and senatorial bills and voting. As in, this bill started out being about X. Here are the issues that opponents and supporters weighed. Also, here are the attachments that got put on the bill, and by whom. It drives me crazy when during campaigns, someone attacks an incumbent for “voting AGAINST the bill that increases school bus safety!” When for all we know, they voted against it because it included a seat belt requirement that a new study had proved unsafe. Or because Senator PorkBarrell attached a rider that funded a $500,000 petting zoo attraction in downtown Nowhere. I’d like to have a non-partisan site that helps illuminate those things. ---
**Author:** ![Anaximenes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e99b99/32.png) [@Anaximenes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaximenes)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/10 "2003-01-13T16:52:47Z")
Keep voting Libertarian, \*\* Libertarian. \*\* With luck, our party will get a president elected by 2136. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/11 "2003-01-13T17:12:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > The gun laws are the principal cause of gun violence, so we must repeal those laws. That’s rich. Actually, it’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read on this here board. Way to fight ignorance, big boy. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/12 "2003-01-13T17:53:08Z")
I said it was bullshit, didn’t I? ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/13 "2003-01-13T17:53:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by essvee \* > \*\*That’s rich. > > Actually, it’s one of the most ridiculous things I’ve read on this here board. Way to fight ignorance, big boy. \*\* That’s rather dishonest, **essvee**. The quote you highlighted is clearly within the Harry Browne, LP candidate, 2000 material that **Lib** quoted. He also gave a clear disclaimer, labeling the content he was quoting indicating that “At least their bullshit is more original.” ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/14 "2003-01-13T17:55:37Z")
Good point. I missed that. My apologies, Lib. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/15 "2003-01-13T18:00:15Z")
No problem. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalashnikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/2bfe46/32.png) [@Kalashnikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalashnikov)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/16 "2003-01-13T18:13:49Z")
meet the new boss, same as the old boss… ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/17 "2003-01-13T18:17:35Z")
I’ve said it before… If the Libertarians actually want to become a power in the land (or at least a worthwhile minority) _they’re going to have to moderate the message_. Nothing more to it than that. Don’t automatically alienate a _majority_ of the electorate by saying they want to overturn EVERYTHING. The American electorate will simply not go for that. Even if the Libertarian candidate did elected he’d never be able to push 99% of that platform through. Let’s just face that. But approach something like this… > [@](#): > > I believe that the overriding belief of the framers is that more freedom is better than less. While not wishing to disenfranchise the poor I believe the constitution requires us to eliminate the war on drugs and instead place our faith in the american people to do what is best for themselves. To that end I will redirect X number of dollars now used in the so-called War on Drugs to treatment programs for those who find themselves unable to control themselves and have become a danger to others through their addiction. This amount represents 15% of the amount currently being spent on the War on Drugs. The remaining moneys will be used to reduce the tax burden on all americans. Thank you, and God bless America. Numbers pulled out of my ass. If the Libertarian Party would just approach the issue in moderation there would be a chance of accomplishing something. The platform quoted by **Lib** up there represents nothing more than idealistic masturbation. It has no hope of ever electing a president. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/18 "2003-01-13T18:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*Nuerotik, > > One of my dream “after-I’ve-won-the-lottery” projects is to have a website that tracked such things. Campaign promises vs. results, for one thing. And honest analyses of congressional and senatorial bills and voting. As in, this bill started out being about X. Here are the issues that opponents and supporters weighed. Also, here are the attachments that got put on the bill, and by whom. > > It drives me crazy when during campaigns, someone attacks an incumbent for “voting AGAINST the bill that increases school bus safety!” When for all we know, they voted against it because it included a seat belt requirement that a new study had proved unsafe. Or because Senator PorkBarrell attached a rider that funded a $500,000 petting zoo attraction in downtown Nowhere. I’d like to have a non-partisan site that helps illuminate those things. \*\* Good luck with that. If you want to pay me to be your research assistant, I’ll gladly help. As far as actual campaign promises kept, I believe there was a study done a few years back that found that major candidates (gov, state assembly, congress, etc) kept, on average, around 95% of their campaing promises when elected. I hesitate to bring this up, though, because I don’t have a cite for it - it was something we went over in college a few years ago, but I remember because it stuck in my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/19 "2003-01-13T18:28:03Z")
“Up the butt, Bob” stuck in mine. Oh, and Jonathan, I’ve never seem more masterful irony. Thanks. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307/20 "2003-01-13T18:37:37Z")
Jst in case some folks are not well-acquainted with my buddy **Libertarian** know this: He is a libertarian, _not_ a Libertarian. While he might vote for a candidate from the Libertarian party, it’s because _that particular candidate_ is closest to his views, not because of party affiliation. Just thought that needed saying. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-bullshit/148307.md?page=2)