# Here comes the Judge. Ready with that towel and cigarette. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 19, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604 "2004-08-19T20:13:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/1 "2004-08-19T20:13:42Z")
Yes. It’s just what you think. An OK judge is retiring rather than fight charges that he repeatedly masturbated at trials, used a “penis pump” under his robes, and exposed himself to court staff. [Here is the Reuter’s story,](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20040819/od_nm/life_judge_dc) ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/2 "2004-08-19T22:59:46Z")
I guess now he’s going to have to settle for wanking off to Judge Judy reruns. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2004, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/3 "2004-08-19T23:41:10Z")
Quoth the judge: > [@](#): > > I have greatly enjoyed my public service I’ll bet. ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/4 "2004-08-20T08:09:08Z")
Wow, he’s in Sapulpa! That’s just south of me. I’d heard about this guy, but I wasn’t aware he was so close! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/5 "2004-08-20T08:12:05Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > I guess now he’s going to have to settle for wanking off to Judge Judy reruns. I heard power is a great aphrodisiac, but this guy must take the cake! For some reason I find the concept of a judge beating off during a trial absolutely hysterical. OVERRULED! :o ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/6 "2004-08-20T13:17:27Z")
Could any cases he ruled on now be appealed, under reasoning that he was distracted during the case and thus didn’t pay adequate attention? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/7 "2004-08-20T13:19:50Z")
Thank ghod it wasn’t another Tennessee judge… I can’t wait to see if somebody gets this joke. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/8 "2004-08-20T13:43:14Z")
Will everyone please rise for the Honorable Judge Thompson…except you Judge. Does this give a new meaning to the Penal system? Isn’t justice blind…or soon will be? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2004, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/9 "2004-08-20T14:32:31Z")
> [@MidnightRadio](#): > > Wow, he’s in Sapulpa! That’s just south of me. I’d heard about this guy, but I wasn’t aware he was so close! (slight hijack) **MidnightRadio** , I used to live in Sand Springs!–In the Colony. Is that still standing? it’s been many years (about 15) since I’ve lived there. ---
**Author:** ![MidnightRadio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@MidnightRadio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MidnightRadio)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2004, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-comes-the-judge-ready-with-that-towel-and-cigarette/260604/10 "2004-08-21T07:03:51Z")
> [@phall0106](#): > > (slight hijack) **MidnightRadio** , I used to live in Sand Springs!–In the Colony. Is that still standing? it’s been many years (about 15) since I’ve lived there. Yeah, it’s still there. It and the Sand Springs Home.