# Here Cums The Judge... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764 "2005-09-21T20:02:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/1 "2005-09-21T20:02:10Z")
[Judge accused of using sex toy during court.](http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1144052) > [@](#): > > Prosecutors allege he masturbated with a penis pump under his robe while presiding over two murder trials and a civil trial in 2003. Thompson denies the allegations and said the penis pump seized in the case was a gag gift from a friend. ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/2 "2005-09-21T20:06:09Z")
“Honestly, it’s not mine! That sort of thing’s not my bag, baby.” ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/3 "2005-09-21T20:07:01Z")
> [@](#): > > Brewster said there was no evidence to link the pump to his client, but High countered that the testimony would help show “this defendant committed the same crime over and over and over again.” He was masturbating like a motherfuck!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/4 "2005-09-21T20:53:28Z")
Now _that’s_ what I call judicial activism! We’ve had threads on this guy before. Here’s my favorite chunk from today’s update: > [@](#): > > Brewster argued that the state should be prevented from submitting the device as evidence, contending that not only did it not function but that it also was sawed in half while in the state’s custody. > > Prosecutor Pattye High said an Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation chemist followed procedure in sawing the pump in two to swab it for DNA evidence. McCall denied the defense request. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/5 "2005-09-21T21:01:21Z")
And to think he sustained the motion through 3 trials! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/6 "2005-09-21T21:02:56Z")
I saw the headline “Jurors Will See Judge’s Alleged Sex Toy” and thought to myself, “What? Again?” Then I thought, “Oooh. On purpose this time.” And as **Otto** states, we’ve been having fun at this idiot’s expense for quite some time now … ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/7 "2005-09-21T21:03:07Z")
“Objection, your honor.” “What grounds?” “You’re badgering your witness.” ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/8 "2005-09-21T21:05:56Z")
> [@CandidGamera](#): > > “Honestly, it’s not mine! That sort of thing’s not my bag, baby.” Prosecutors also allege that they discovered credit card receipt for the penis pump with the former judge’s name on it, and a book titled “Swedish Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me: This Sort Of Thing Is My Bag, Baby,” written by the former judge. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/9 "2005-09-21T21:06:12Z")
…braces self for yet another round of judicial masturbatory euphemism… ---
**Author:** ![OhFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecccb3/32.png) [@OhFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OhFace)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/10 "2005-09-21T22:45:33Z")
Please tell me this last sentence is not true: > [@](#): > > “If convicted, Thompson would face up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine on each charge and would have to register as a sex offender upon his release.” Offender of what? Himself? It’s just completely ridiculous! ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/11 "2005-09-21T22:51:29Z")
> [@OhFace](#): > > Please tell me this last sentence is not true: > > “If convicted, Thompson would face up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine on each charge and would have to register as a sex offender upon his release.” > > Offender of what? Himself? It’s just completely ridiculous! No he was allegidly exposing his activities to others on purpose, that makes his actions applicable to requiring sex offender registration. ---
**Author:** ![EnderWay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d26b3c/32.png) [@EnderWay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnderWay)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/12 "2005-09-21T23:37:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Thompson, 58, who spent more than 20 years on the bench before stepping down This guy can walk after 20 years on the bench with a penis pump :eek: ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/13 "2005-09-22T01:44:01Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > He was masturbating like a motherfuck!! :eek: Indeed he was! [The Smoking Gun](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html) has a copy of the original petition for the judge’s removal. And here’s the original thread from last year: [Woo hoo! The Court is masturbating like a motherfuck!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263298) ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/14 "2005-09-22T01:48:26Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > Indeed he was! > > [The Smoking Gun](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html) has a copy of the original petition for the judge’s removal. > > And here’s the original thread from last year: > > [Woo hoo! The Court is masturbating like a motherfuck!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263298) Ha ha Smoking Gun… 😉 Seriously this thread has my vote for Greatest Pun of the Year. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/here-cums-the-judge/322764/15 "2005-09-22T05:08:44Z")
IIRC, he also shaved his genitalia during court. Clearly he was dedicated to his work.