# Herein a Facebook message from my oldest niece. And what I wanted to say. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788 "2008-08-12T23:16:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/1 "2008-08-12T23:16:13Z")
(Real names edited for anonymity) From niece (12) > [@](#): > > hi [Lobsang] im sooooo excited to be comin 2 da isle of mann nxt week can u get me a charger for my laptop im bringing it to the isle of mann so u will be able 2 see what size the hole is How I replied > [@](#): > > Hi [Niece]. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I’ll see about getting you a charger but I will need to find out more than just the size of the hole. How I wanted to reply… > [@](#): > > Hi [Niece]. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I’ll see about getting you a charger but I will need to find out more than just the size of the hole. > > P.S. As your Uncle I advise you not to use internet-speak. It only makes you look dumb and I know you are not dumb. 🙂 🙂 Or > [@](#): > > Hi [Niece]. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I’ll see about getting you a charger but I will need to find out more than just the size of the hole. > > P.S. I’ll speak to you when you get here about talking that way, for example using ‘2’ instead of ‘to’. I know you’re better than that. 🙂 🙂 Or even. > [@](#): > > Hi [Niece]. I’m looking forward to seeing you. I’ll see about getting you a charger but I will need to find out more than just the size of the hole. > > P.S. It’s nice to ask more politely 🙂 🙂 I wanted my colons and right parentheses to be converted to smileys to indicate that what I was saying was meant in the nicest possible way. (where you see SDMB smiles I typed a colon and a right parenthesis) I know I am biased, but I genuinely believe she is far too intelligent to be using this type of language on the internet. I’ve seen handwritten things from her that are perfect in both spelling and grammar (and with immaculate handwriting to boot). I think there’s a thing people do to fit in: which is to mimic the speech-patterns of those they perceive to be popular. Is this what my niece is doing? edit: I guess the meaning of this thread is that things I have an easy time getting across in person I have a hard time getting across in typed words, because type words lack the body language (and other things) ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/2 "2008-08-12T23:23:25Z")
How about “Who are you and what have you done with my niece – the niece I’m always bragging about because she’s so polite and well spoken?” Signed: Uncle Lobsang, Netspeak Curmudgeon\* \*Because you need to give her at least one word to look up. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/3 "2008-08-12T23:39:35Z")
[QUOTE=Lobsang] I think there’s a thing people do to fit in: which is to mimic the speech-patterns of those they perceive to be popular. Is this what my niece is doing? [/QUOTE] Almost certainly. My master’s level linguistics class focused on this general phenomenon (using language to fit in) in great detail. I’m not a linguist, but I can vouch for the fact that there’s a substantial body of academic research that says people use language to fit in. Your niece’s example is interesting. She doesn’t actually misspell anything or have any typos. 90% of US teens would be referring to “the aisle of man 🙂 .” She is using unconventional punctuation and abbreviations. I never use that text-speak myself, but it is the lingua franca of Facebook. Personally, I wouldn’t alienate her over the grammar. You might remind her she left off the “plz.” ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/4 "2008-08-12T23:48:12Z")
Cut her some slack, she’s 12. When I first got on AOL, age ~15, i WaNTeD To TaLK LiKe THiS OR IN ALL CAPS. It’s “fun”. You should take it as a compliment - she sees you as young and hip. She wouldn’t talk to some old fuddy duddy that way (per your assertion that she’s smarter than that.) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/5 "2008-08-13T00:04:05Z")
[QUOTE=Harriet the Spry] She doesn’t actually misspell anything or have any typos. [/QUOTE] Except “Isle of Mann” instead of “Isle of Man” and “da” instead of “the.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/6 "2008-08-13T00:08:39Z")
If she’s clever, I think a ‘What, no plz?’ would have gotten the message across. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/7 "2008-08-13T00:19:00Z")
lam0rz ur mad cuz u dun kno howta type coo. LOLz ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/8 "2008-08-13T00:27:03Z")
I am perfectly sane because I know how not to type ‘coo’. I laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/9 "2008-08-13T01:05:05Z")
Perhaps you could avoid bring up the subject of her writing “style” until you are able to mention it in person. Not that she will ever arrive if she is too trendy to spell her destination, of course. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/10 "2008-08-13T08:58:05Z")
Just a little anecdotal observation: I happen to have a couple of examples of writing from one particular pupil, and they fit in with those **Lobsang** has from his niece. The first is typed (on Facebook, thank God for restricted profiles 😉 ) - minimal punctuation, numerous typos and spelling mistakes, no capitals, and ‘gr8’ is used at one point. The other is in beautiful handwriting, with perfect spelling and grammar. Significantly, only the latter example was actually going to be seen by any of her peers - it’s written in a thank-you card she organised to be passed around a large group of kids. What I take from this is that her typing on Facebook has nothing whatsoever to do with mimicing those considered ‘popular’. Nor can it be any concern for a particular perception people could have of her, given I know her well enough to not need to try to draw any meaning from such things. However, stating that anyone ‘looks dumb’ solely because of such typing _is_ an imposition of a particular (and quite likely false) stereotype, based on inadequate evidence. > [@Harriet the Spry](#): > > She is using unconventional punctuation and abbreviations. I never use that text-speak myself, but it is the lingua franca of Facebook. Isn’t this contradictory? Doesn’t this mean that they’re conventional, just a convention which you (or **Lobsang** ) are not entirely familiar with? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/11 "2008-08-13T09:40:22Z")
I have a friend who is a qualified engineer with a master’s degree. When he sends me texts they say stuff like: “hel0 m8, u going to da pub l8tr 4 sum beerz?” I mentioned predictive text to him once, he said he uses it. “Why then do your texts look like they were written by a 14-year-old?” I asked him. “Oh, I taught it those words,” he replied. Give up, **Lobsang** ; we’ve lost. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/12 "2008-08-13T10:01:05Z")
I thought the strange text messaging words were designed to economize on time, thumb gymnastics and cost of texting. It’s shorthand. I don’t see anything wrong with it in a text message. Was she posting to Facebook via a hand-held device? If you feel the need to correct her, just remind her that unless she’s texting, she would be better off to use traditional spelling and punctuation. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/13 "2008-08-13T11:58:44Z")
Twelve-year-old kids have facebook sites? Man, am I out of the loop!! ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/14 "2008-08-13T12:48:09Z")
[QUOTE=Kalhoun] If you feel the need to correct her, just remind her that unless she’s texting, she would be better off to use traditional spelling and punctuation [/QUOTE] ‘Better off’ means what? Certainly there’s no issue of anybody not understanding the original message, so as a method of communication it does its job just fine. Yes, it started with early (pre-predictive text) phones, but has both outlasted and spread beyond that origin. Most 12-year-olds will never have used a mobile without predictive text! ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/15 "2008-08-13T13:29:04Z")
[QUOTE=GorillaMan] ‘Better off’ means what? Certainly there’s no issue of anybody not understanding the original message, so as a method of communication it does its job just fine. Yes, it started with early (pre-predictive text) phones, but has both outlasted and spread beyond that origin. Most 12-year-olds will never have used a mobile without predictive text! [/QUOTE] Better off, meaning that if her text isn’t directed specifically at someone who can understand it, she might not be communicating clearly. _This_ one was directed at her uncle. _This_ one wasn’t as cryptic as a lot of the texting shorthand can be. My father would have a difficult time understanding this form of shorthand. I certainly don’t want to read a newspaper article in texting shorthand. There’s a time and place for it. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/16 "2008-08-13T13:34:16Z")
[QUOTE=InvisibleWombat] Except “Isle of Mann” instead of “Isle of Man” and “da” instead of “the.” 🙂 [/QUOTE] :smack: on the “Mann,” but I think “da” is just an unconventional abbreviation, or maybe dialect. It’s not like she doesn’t know how to spell “the,” she’s using it for effect. **GorillaMan** , I think there is a standard “conventional” that is expected to be used in professional communication. That’s how I was using the word. But I don’t disagree with you that something like Facebook can have its own conventions. It would be a little strange for the girl to spell out everything she writes on her friends’ FB walls, for example. If \*\*Lobsang \*\* finds an opportunity to make sure she knows not to write like that on tests and job applications, I think he’s done his part. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/17 "2008-08-13T15:21:47Z")
Just last week I was having a cup of tea with an accomplished young woman, in town looking for housing as she’ll be attending a prestigious university to take her Master’s degree. She was, in every way, intelligent, well spoken and poised. Later in casual conversation she used the phrase, “True that!”. I suddenly felt terribly, terribly old. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/18 "2008-08-13T15:28:23Z")
She’s twelve. This is the age where kids begin to discover their own identities. And with this comes the realization that at 12 you basically have no control of your life. So kids at this age control the few aspects that they can- what they wear, how they talk, etc. And part of this is how they write on casual ocassions. It’s a powerful thing to learn that speech is not a rigid thing, but a fluid thing that can be changed and used at will to create the effect that you want. And damned if a kid isn’t going to use that power. It’s just a part of declaring “I have an identity outside of what my teachers, parents, and even friends think of me.” With time she will learn when and where it is appropriate to use each form of language. Eventually she will learn more about herself and step away from teen convention to begin to develop her own unique voice. She may well be on her way to being a great writer. Think of it like fashion. Young teens want to use fashion as a way to assert their identities, so they flock to trends, teen magazines, etc. Older teens develop a fashion sense that reflects more of them than the trends, but often they take things to extremes and lack aren’t able to capture the more subtle nuances. As they mature into adults, people generally either develop their own somewhat sophisticated fashion sense, or they learn to stick to a few simple norms. It’ll work out. Let her be a kid and do silly kid stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/19 "2008-08-13T15:39:02Z")
My 10 year old daughter IMs just like that too. But, as mentioned above by others, her school writing is impeccable. I was actually “chatting” with her yesterday using the Gmail chat feature. When I typed “Whazzup?” she replied with “Adults don’t type like that.” How do you like them apples! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788/20 "2008-08-13T15:53:18Z")
I believe when I was 12 (pre-txt days), all my i’s suddenly sprouted little hearts instead of dots, my e’s looked like half moons with a slash through them and my s’s turned into little slanty sticks on top of a bloated curving base. New technology, same old story. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/herein-a-facebook-message-from-my-oldest-niece-and-what-i-wanted-to-say/459788.md?page=2)