# Here's a million bucks. Now disappear. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 4, 2016, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173 "2016-01-04T18:46:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/41 "2016-01-05T02:03:44Z")
I’d probably travel around the country staying with various family members. I have a very large extended family, very spread out geographically, so this should allow me a lot of options. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/42 "2016-01-05T02:17:46Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > While I like your reasoning, it’s kinda hilarious that upon becoming a secret millionaire you think _“Step One, Get A Job: Not The Kind You Pay Taxes On.”_ > > (You don’t even sound like you want the money; it’s just that you apparently can’t interview for a live-in position without routinely asking for a paycheck.) While you are doing the babysitter job you need to start constructing your secret self sustaining bunker in the Nevada desert. Make sure you handle all transactions electronically through an attorney so they’re isn’t any paperwork lying around. Arrange for unfortunate accidents to happen to the contractors, attorney, and the family that hired you. Oh and the guy who handed you the million dollars since you don’t want whosever after you to know you’ve got money. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/43 "2016-01-05T06:47:09Z")
I remember only one episode in “Highlander: the Series” wherein Duncan had to create a new identity for a given immortal. Ritchie went to the cemetery looking for someone who died at infancy. He took that name, looked up the parentage, and then Duncan forged the necessary papers. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/44 "2016-01-05T07:16:08Z")
Getting a fake identity makes you traceable again, in the event that the fake identity is uncovered. (it’s a single point of catastrophic failure). You want to go somewhere that you can function with _no_ identity, or where your identity will never be questioned, and at the same time, where your arrival will not cause a stir. I imagine the number of places where this is possible has shrunk considerably in the last few decades. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/45 "2016-01-05T07:18:07Z")
Question for the hypothetical; If I go missing, will they (ab)use my family to try to find me? If so, I take the money and pay my pursuers a million bucks to kill me quickly. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/46 "2016-01-05T07:21:17Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > You want to go somewhere that you can function with _no_ identity, or where your identity will never be questioned, and at the same time, where your arrival will not cause a stir. I imagine the number of places where this is possible has shrunk considerably in the last few decades. The French Foreign Legion nowadays looks up your files at Interpol. But I wonder how strict they really are. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/47 "2016-01-05T07:24:48Z")
What sort of resources can the bad guys access? I’d imagine an RV travelling through the US, using cash for all purchases would be mostly untraceable for anything other that official law enforcement level - and even then, so long as you didn’t maintain a digital presence rather hard ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/48 "2016-01-05T08:09:49Z")
I still think a helmeted motorcycle rider crossing the continent is the most secure way of hiding. There’s just the trouble of what to do with your million. Carry what you can with you for dailies, the rest through POA. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/49 "2016-01-05T08:25:17Z")
I think it would be best to move in with some obscure friend whom you can trust. Therefore its them who pay all the bills and get whatever done. They can take you along as a travelling companion as you scope out places to hide. I’d guess getting a good fake id would be much harder than one would think unless of course you already know “certain” people. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/50 "2016-01-05T09:01:18Z")
How about putting the money off shore? A credit card out of bank in Asia is going to be hard to track right? And the name on the card doesn’t even have to match mine. Otherwise an ATM card drawn on a foreign account in the name of a friend? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/51 "2016-01-05T09:07:45Z")
Without my meds, I’m screwed. I’m more stable with them, but don’t do very well without. Assuming that I could solve that problem, the first step is going back to America or at least getting out of Taiwan. I can’t imagine how to get a million bucks through customs, though. That’s going to be a long discussion with the customs agents. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t leave Taiwan. There aren’t many places us foreigners can hang out inconspicuously. I may be possible, though if I could find someone to live with who the bad guys wouldn’t know about. (This would have been easier back in my single days in Tokyo where I drank my way through a lot of dives.) Have them buy a motorcycle for you and only leave the house with a full helmet on, at night. That way you can hide the fact you are a foreigner. OTOH, since this is a **Skald** scenario, the bad guys are going to commit extraordinarily creative but vile acts on my family to find where I live, so maybe suicide would be the best option. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/52 "2016-01-05T09:24:34Z")
The design of sterling notes gets changed quite often, it won’t be long before my notes look old and suspicious, I’d probably use the roulette machine at a bookies to try to keep my notes up to date. Hopefully I could find an out of the way place I can pay rent by cash with no ID, but I’m not confident given the levels of ID requirements needed nowadays. If I use my passport, evil Abby will track me, but if might be worth one use of it to get out of the UK. I think I could hide more easily in the US or Canada. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/53 "2016-01-05T13:00:20Z")
Find a nice girl friend whom you can trust, frugal and low-maintenance, and use her as a front-man, for things like apartment rental, car registration, etc. Everything is in her name. Keep your cash in a box of scouring pads in the drawer under the stove, where no burglar will steal it and is it fairly well protected against all but the worst fires. By the way, a million won’t go very far. During a lifetime of work, a WalMart greeter making ten bucks an hour will go through a million by retirement age. Health insurance alone will eat up almost half of your million during your lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/54 "2016-01-05T14:39:43Z")
Thomas Perry wrote several novels where the protagonist Jane Whitefield helped people disappear. One huge difficulty I see is the lack of identification. How do you buy a car/house, or sign a lease without at least a driver’s license? Even if you buy a car for case, how do you register it? It is easy to say “get fake ID” - but how exactly does an average person go about doing that? So I see the most likely option being living in a medium sized city, where you can rent an apartment for cash. Would probably want the town to be large enough to have some public transportation. I’d probably pick a warmer location where I could walk/bike more easily more of the year. One crucial factor is avoiding ANYTHING you used to do. Hobbies, family, etc. And you’d probably want to avoid anything other than superficial relationships. Like folk have said, medium sized flyover city would be a good bet. Has anyone done the math? How long would $1 million last, supporting what style of life, if you were paying cash for everything and getting no income? ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Wayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4bbf92/32.png) [@Charlie\_Wayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Wayne)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/55 "2016-01-05T15:29:37Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > How good are the bad guys at tracing/tracking license plates? > > If not in their repertoire, I get on my motorcycle, and go. Just go. Paying cash for travel expenses, never check in anywhere that asks for an ID. > > Get a prepaid cell phone, and live off the grid. Camp out a lot, which I already do when I travel by bike. > > I’ve actually “kind of” done this before. I went on a cross country (and back) motorcycle trip, and, just for the heck of it, got as off the grid as I could. Probably used my ID a max of 4 times in 3000+ miles over a 3 week period. This seems to have a real “dream-like” quality to it. I must admit that I’d love to try living such a scenario. Yes indeed! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/56 "2016-01-05T17:14:20Z")
When do the bad guys give up? Because there isn’t really enough money there for a lifetime on the lam. You could outfit a secondhand yacht and sail off into the sunset and live for five or six years off that kind of money without too much of a problem, but just disappearing creates more problems. Family may file missing person reports, and that gets the government involved, now there’s more people trying to track me down. When the money runs out or I need to renew my registration for my boat I need to use my ID. I need to start a job and earn legit money to buy anchorage space for the winter/stormy season, or put the boat in drydock to scrape barnacles and get it repainted so I can continue sailing. Those are going to be taxed and reported to someone. When I don’t file my taxes this year(or next year) and I don’t get a death certificate filed then the IRS is going to start looking for me. Basically it’s a situation where I’d look at the million bucks and decide that whatever I’m mixed up in, I’m better off going to a police station and turning myself and the ill-gotten gains in and looking for their help in protecting me from whatever baddies are coming for me. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/57 "2016-01-05T17:25:26Z")
Kowloon. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/58 "2016-01-05T20:06:10Z")
$1,000,000.00 isn’t going to last you that long, or provide that comfortable a lifestyle since being undercover, you would be limited in job type, so you’d need to make that money last. I have extended family in Brazil, so I’d hole up there. Perhaps move to a small town and get an ID that way. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Shine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr_shine/32/464_2.png) [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/59 "2016-01-05T20:54:52Z")
> [@Caffeine.addict](#): > > $1,000,000.00 isn’t going to last you that long, or provide that comfortable a lifestyle since being undercover, you would be limited in job type, so you’d need to make that money last. I could live on $1m easily for the rest of my life, even at 0% interest 2% inflation, if I could find somewhere cheap to rent and had some way to keep the currency fresh. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2016, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173/60 "2016-01-05T23:18:28Z")
> [@Mr\_Shine](#): > > I could live on $1m easily for the rest of my life, even at 0% interest 2% inflation, if I could find somewhere cheap to rent and had some way to keep the currency fresh. You’re gonna have to either deposit it someplace, creating a potential paper trail, or regularly move large quantities of cash, risking other forms of attention. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-million-bucks-now-disappear/742173.md?page=4)