# Here's a shiny new thread for pitting ZPG Zealot. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 14, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868 "2011-05-14T03:21:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/61 "2011-05-17T08:02:00Z")
No, you’re not raping it _now_. You’re just the kind of filthy pervert who is undoubtedly going to rape it in the _future_. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/62 "2011-05-19T01:43:39Z")
Question: if a handshake is rape, does that mean that a joy buzzer is the equivalent of a vibrator? ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/63 "2011-05-19T04:11:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Question: if a handshake is rape, does that mean that a joy buzzer is the equivalent of a vibrator? Only if you’re doing it right! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/64 "2011-05-19T10:29:11Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Yes, you PERVERT. Leave that poor defenseless keyboard alone! It dressed slatternly, it’s deserving what it gets right now! ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/65 "2011-05-19T10:34:29Z")
TONIGHT on DATELINE YOUR KEYBOARD… INNOCENT VICTIM OR WANTON TEMPTRESS? See the pictures TOO HOT FOR PRIMETIME “The fingers, they were all over her!” ---
**Author:** ![Panurge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/fbc32d/32.png) [@Panurge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Panurge)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/66 "2011-05-19T10:37:24Z")
I suddenly have a frightening image of the dope as a place where everybody repeatedly rapes me by extending their filthy minds towards me through the screen! Oh, wait. I’m here willingly. Does that mean I’m a slut? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/67 "2011-05-19T10:41:26Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > It dressed slatternly, it’s deserving what it gets right now! My God, you’re right! I’m looking at mine right now and it’s wantonly inviting me to Enter right below its Backspace! I feel so dirty. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/68 "2011-05-19T10:49:58Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > My God, you’re right! I’m looking at mine right now and it’s wantonly inviting me to Enter right below its Backspace! > > I feel so dirty. What, you have no ctrl? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/69 "2011-05-19T11:07:13Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > What, you have no ctrl? I couldn’t help it! I mean, I looked at the “End” button and right next to it it said “Insert” - what was I supposed to do? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/70 "2011-05-19T11:10:44Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I couldn’t help it! I mean, I looked at the “End” button and right next to it it said “Insert” - what was I supposed to do? “Page Up-Page Down” ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/71 "2011-05-19T11:32:52Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > What, you have no ctrl? Who are we to criticize his Alt lifestyle? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/72 "2011-05-19T11:50:25Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > Who are we to criticize his Alt lifestyle? Gr. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/73 "2011-05-19T11:58:24Z")
All I know is, I can’t get my pause off it. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/74 "2011-05-19T12:36:53Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > FWIW, Orthodox Jews don’t shake hands with the opposite sex. As far as I know they aren’t being fired en mass. Neither do conservative Muslims. Several of whom I’ve had as valued co-workers. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/75 "2011-05-19T13:34:42Z")
Esc! Esc! Esc! Esc! ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/76 "2011-05-19T14:02:30Z")
This thread really puts the F in F4. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/77 "2011-05-19T14:40:58Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > This thread really puts the F in F4. We’re running out of keys, though. I’m not sure how much longer this joke can FN. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/78 "2011-05-19T14:42:02Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > We’re running out of keys, though. I’m not sure how much longer this joke can FN. Are you saying it’s time to Ctrl-Alt-Del this thread? Please say no, I don’t think we can do this again so soon. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/79 "2011-05-19T14:47:06Z")
We can always Shift it to another thread. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868/80 "2011-05-19T14:47:59Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Esc! Esc! Esc! Esc! [If you insist](http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/372_esc2.jpg). My keyboard is now inviting me Home. Surely this is Break-ing some Tab-oo? Done now… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-a-shiny-new-thread-for-pitting-zpg-zealot/581868.md?page=5)