# Here's lookin' at you, JLo (Casablanca remake) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293 "2003-04-12T17:59:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/21 "2003-04-12T21:03:15Z")
I don’t think I’ve felt this horrified since Jennifer Love Hewitt cast herself as Audrey Hepburn. :eek: (And for the record, I’ve never even seen _Casablanca_). ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/22 "2003-04-12T21:37:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gangster Octopus \* > **Honestly who cares, it has no effect on the original.** That’s what I’d like to think. But then I harken back to being in the theater for “[Romeo + Juliet](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0117509),” where kids actually yelled at the screen during the last 10 minutes, “Don’t do it!” There will be people who are only exposed to the JLo version of this cinema classic and, for that, I am veryvery sad. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/23 "2003-04-12T21:43:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FallenAngel \* > \*\*Someone please explain to me how Jennifer Lopez, who is only moderately attractive, has no acting ability (at all, I mean this woman couldn’t ACT like she was in pain if Bugs Bunny dropped an anvil on her foot) \*\* I agree that her ego makes her make incredibly stupid decisions. But she _can_ act. She’s no Cate Blanchett or Julianne Moore, but there are loads of female actors far worse. I liked her in [Out of Sight](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0120780), and thought she made an OK job in [Angel Eyes](http://us.imdb.com/Title?0225071). And Ingrid Bergman wasn’t a spectacular actress either. In her early years, she mostly got cast for her astonishingly good looks. Her accent and not too strong grip on English limited her quite a lot. At the time Casablanca was made, Bogart was not known for his acting, having mostly played tough guys in bad detective stories. All in all, J.Lo and Afflecj wouldn’t do a worse job than Bogart and Bergman did then, if there never was a Casablanca and the script came to the studio this week. With nothing to compare with, we wouldn’t be all that offended. As for her having her SO in a movie… Tracy and Hepburn, anyone. Anyways, I think it shows very poor judgment to try a remake. This is a very loved filmed, and as seen in this thread, J.Lo will only piss people off. In general, remakes are a sad aspect of the movie industry not taking any chances on new material. The movie will vanish quickly and the original will always be there. No need to get worked up. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2003, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/24 "2003-04-12T22:10:48Z")
_with apologies to Dooley Wilson and the writer_ "You must remember this: a tit is but a tit, a thigh is but a thigh. The fundamental things apply as J.Ho goes by. And when she and Ben screw, as they often do, bad ideas they do fly. A monstrosity I spy, As J.Ho goes by." ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/25 "2003-04-13T05:18:48Z")
Me? I hoping for Chris Rock cast as Major Strasser for comic relief. “What are you saying? That a Black Man can’t be a Nazi!” ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/26 "2003-04-13T06:25:17Z")
They reported on this in SNL’s “Weekend Update” tonight. Tina: This should please fans who liked the original _Casablanca_, but wished it had been terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/27 "2003-04-13T13:08:12Z")
Okay, I’ve had enough. This is really the last straw. First I hear about the “Harold and Maude” remake with Emilio Estevez and the actress that plays Rosario on Will and Grace (Evidence: [Here (under March 19)](http://www.shadowsonthewall.co.uk/shnews.htm) and [here](http://www.filmbrats.com/) ) and now THIS? Casablanca with J.Lo? And if that wasn’t bad enough–with Ben Affleck too?? Gaaaah!! It’s enough to put this movie-lover off of movies forever. Feh. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/28 "2003-04-13T13:19:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Greywolf73 \* > \*\*Okay, I’ve had enough. This is really the last straw. First I hear about the “Harold and Maude” remake with Emilio Estevez and the actress that plays Rosario on Will and Grace > (Evidence: [Here (under March 19)](http://www.shadowsonthewall.co.uk/shnews.htm) and [here](http://www.filmbrats.com/) ) \*\* WTF??? WTFFINGF??? That’s just totally wrong on so many levels! The next thing you’ll be telling me is that Eminem is signed to do the soundtrack! (They _certainly_ can’t be planning on reusing the Cat Stevens soundtrack. Speaking of which, anyone know how he’s faring these days? Last I heard he was living in Iraq. Is he still there or did he bug out?) ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/29 "2003-04-13T14:54:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Gaspode \* > As for her having her SO in a movie… Tracy and Hepburn, anyone. > \*\* Big difference though, Hepburn and Tracy were both amazing actors, they are on a level Affleck and JLo couldn’t ever hope to reach. Although, this particular remake possibility is galling. The one that set me off more was the planned remake of Harvey with John Travolta _shudder_ \ What? \ It bugs me more that these “actors” care nothing about their craft if they think they can do better than a classic. It’s like a modern artist trying to repaint (not restore) the cieling of Sistine Chapel. ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/30 "2003-04-13T15:17:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tiramisu \* > \*\*Big difference though, Hepburn and Tracy were both amazing actors, they are on a level Affleck and JLo couldn’t ever hope to reach. \*\* [things that make me go hmm…] So, let me see if I get you right - If both actors are generally regarded as being very good, it’s OK for a couple to be in the same movie? If the actors suck, they shouldn’t play in the same movie…? [/things that make me go hmm…] ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/31 "2003-04-13T15:42:07Z")
Oh great, now I _know_ the apocalypse is coming. ---
**Author:** ![Short\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Short\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Short_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/32 "2003-04-13T17:45:12Z")
I am as shocked and apalled as anyone, but if it turns out this movie is going to be made, I hope they at least have the decency to cast Steve Buscemi as Ugarte. I bet he does a mean Peter Lorre. ---
**Author:** ![blainer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@blainer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blainer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/33 "2003-04-13T18:00:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*(They _certainly_ can’t be planning on reusing the Cat Stevens soundtrack. Speaking of which, anyone know how he’s faring these days? Last I heard he was living in Iraq. Is he still there or did he bug out?) \*\* Actually, there is no more Cat Stevens. He is Yusef Islam now. ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/34 "2003-04-13T18:04:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Greywolf73 \* > **Okay, I’ve had enough. This is really the last straw. First I hear about the “Harold and Maude” remake with Emilio Estevez and the actress that plays Rosario on Will and Grace…** Great googlymoogly. Is it actually possible to hijack this thread with WORSE news? **Greywolf73** , you’ve made me ruin a perfectly good cup of Lady Grey by sputtering it all down my chin. I mean, _Casablanca_, people love it, so it’s not a surprise to hear talk of recasting it, setting it in a new era, etc. Granted, I don’t think anyone should **DO** such things, but it’s interesting to consider. But I had sincere hopes that _Harold and Maude_ would be on so few people’s radars that it would never have to suffer this. **EMILIO ESTEVEZ??!** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/35 "2003-04-13T21:50:59Z")
Oh, **moi** sorry to have ruined your perfectly good cup of Earl Grey! I was debating whether or not to start a new thread on the awful Harold and Maude news, but then I got sidetracked reading this thread about the equally awful Casablanca remake news. What makes it even worse is that I ran across the _Harold and Maude_ remake news on April 1st. Naturally, I assumed it was a joke but alas, I seem to be wrong. Damn it. _Sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/36 "2003-04-13T22:42:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blainer \* > \*\*Actually, there is no more Cat Stevens. He is Yusef Islam now. \*\* Whatever. (I knew he’d changed his name, but couldn’t remember what it was.) Anybody know what happened to him? Did he bug out of Iraq or is he still there? ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/37 "2003-04-14T00:24:29Z")
I can’t find anything on the 'net about Yusef Islam actually being in Iraq since 1990, when he helped get the British Muslims out. As far I can see, he’s still living in London. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/38 "2003-04-14T00:38:30Z")
They should rename it: “C **ASS** ablanca” _rimshot_ Thank yew. I’m here all week, folks. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/39 "2003-04-14T00:59:57Z")
wait five years… Hayley Joel Osment and Betty White! RUNS LIKE HELL WHILE LAUGHING MANIACALLY!!! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/40 "2003-04-14T01:18:51Z")
This thread should really have a TMI warning on it. :seppuku: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293.md?page=3)