# Here's lookin' at you, JLo (Casablanca remake) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293 "2003-04-12T17:59:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/41 "2003-04-14T01:38:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michael Ellis \* > \*\*Oh great, now I _know_ the apocalypse is coming. \*\* This movie is the final sign, before I rise from the depths - the Stars Are Almost Right - IA! IA! CTHULHU PHTAGN! ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/42 "2003-04-14T01:44:51Z")
Emilio Estevez as a high-school student? I think that’s going to be quite a stretch. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/43 "2003-04-14T02:32:36Z")
What other beloved classics can Hollywood defile with remakes? **His Girl Friday** ( Yes it was a remake of the Front Page, but it is a classic.) \*\*Gone with the Wind \*\* With the Hattie McDaniel character played by Wanda Sykes. I can see it now. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/44 "2003-04-14T02:34:29Z")
\*\*Animal Crackers \*\* and \*\*Duck Soup \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/45 "2003-04-14T02:44:07Z")
Some remakes aren’t so bad-_Oceans Eleven_ and _Sabrina_, obviously. But my god, is NOTHING sacred? What’s next? ---
**Author:** ![MusicJunkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@MusicJunkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MusicJunkie)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/46 "2003-04-14T03:12:42Z")
> [@](#): > > So, let me see if I get you right - > If both actors are generally regarded as being very good, it’s OK for a couple to be in the same movie? If the actors suck, they shouldn’t play in the same movie…? Makes sense to me. Really, what’s wrong with that as a rule? I refuse to comment on the possibility of a Casablanca remake on grounds of fragile mental stability. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/47 "2003-04-14T03:26:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*This movie is the final sign, before I rise from the depths - the Stars Are Almost Right - IA! IA! CTHULHU PHTAGN! \*\* Just don’t eat me. That’s all I ask. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/48 "2003-04-14T04:06:27Z")
Oh my god. From Greywolf73’s first link under March 25th > [@](#): > > And it seems impossible, but BATTLEFIELD EARTH 2 is apparently in the works, with an all new cast and a much lower budget. Scientologists Emilio Estevez and John Travolta are supposedly involved in some way. It is indeed the End Times ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/49 "2003-04-14T04:23:19Z")
[quote] His Girl Friday ( Yes it was a remake of the Front Page, but it is a classic.) [quote] Did you miss 1988’s _Switching Channels_, with Kathleen Turner, Burt Reynolds, and Christopher Reeve? If you did, don’t feel bad, no one else saw it either. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/50 "2003-04-14T04:29:32Z")
Wasn’t there a 70s remake version called Caboblanco? ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/51 "2003-04-14T05:09:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Some remakes aren’t so bad-_Oceans Eleven_ and _Sabrina_, obviously. > \*\* The Anime Metropolis was an interesting Remake of the original Metropolis. Dracula(1930’s version) was arguably better then Nosferantu(1924?). Or do those not count as remakes? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/52 "2003-04-14T05:37:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*Oh my god. > > From Greywolf73’s first link under March 25th > > > [@](#): > > > > And it seems impossible, but BATTLEFIELD EARTH 2 is apparently in the works, with an all new cast and a much lower budget. Scientologists Emilio Estevez and John Travolta are supposedly involved in some way. > > It is indeed the End Times \*\* :eek: **shiver** Hold me. ---
**Author:** ![widdershins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@widdershins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/widdershins)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/53 "2003-04-14T07:43:39Z")
_Caboblanco_ was a bad Charles Bronson flick from 1980. It can be generously called an homage, or more accurately a ripoff of _Casablanca_, but remake would be quite a stretch. Travolta in a remake of _Harvey_? I’ll bet they dance together. Voice of CGI Harvey provided by Samuel L. Jackson. “Don’t believe I exist! You’ll PRAY I didn’t exist when I get through kickin’ your ass!” With a title like _Casablanca_, maybe Lopez thinks it’s a romantic comedy about the first Latina President. Set it in a different era? Affleck plays a jaded expat American/former Green Beret who runs a bar in Noriega’s Panama catering to US troops guarding the Canal Zone. Lopez, his high school sweetheart, is the wife of an undercover CIA agent trying to coordinate American invasion plans. The two must now get out of the country without contacting US forces and risking the entire invasion. Will Ben do the right thing ? Will the husband convenient be killed after Ben makes his noble decision, allowing America’s perfect couple to run away together rather than actually having to make a difficult personal sacrifice? Will Babyface and Lopez’s cover of “As Time Goes By” suck as her other songs? _Harold and Maude_ - If they need a washed up formerly cute teen actor to play a suicidal youth, why not get one of the two Coreys. Haim would be my choice, his post-fame life would make great Method training for the role. Better yet cast it with Macauley Culkin and Joan Rivers. “Listen kid, when comes to dying you don’t know the half of it! And who bought you those shoes, your mother? Is the poor woman blind? Aggggh!” Soundtrack by Avril Lavigne, because she writes her own songs and knows about true love and the beauty of life and death and stuff. ---
**Author:** ![refusal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ac91a4/32.png) [@refusal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/refusal)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/54 "2003-04-14T13:53:41Z")
This makes me look fondly back on the 1970s when all they did was remake classic movies as Blacksploitation pictures (Blacula, The Wiz, etc). So Ice Cube as Rick and Lil Kim as Ilse? With Queen Latifah as Renault? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/55 "2003-04-14T18:39:24Z")
I guess if Casablanca survived remakes with Pamela Anderson, Charles Bronson, and David Soul, it’ll survive Jennifer Lopez. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/56 "2003-04-14T18:41:28Z")
And, refusal, it wouldn’t be _Ghettoblanca_; it’d be _Casablaco_. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/57 "2003-04-14T20:23:40Z")
And LL Cool J as Sam. “Rap it again, LL.” ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/58 "2003-04-14T23:28:10Z")
I wonder: How they are going to handle the smoking cigs this time around? Also, what about going over that mountain & coming back & having a smoke? Wouldn’t it be easier for them to just show the sex? ---
**Author:** ![msaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@msaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msaffer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/59 "2003-04-15T00:28:42Z")
The only way a movie like this could be remotley worth seeing is if the title was changed and the whole project was put in the hands of Kevin Smith (who would have the good sense to remove any resemblence to one of the greatest films of all time). I mean let’s be honest the best work, or for that matter the only good work that Affleck has ever done was when he was making fun of himself in Jay and Silent Bob strike back. Otherwise he sucked in everything including the rest of the Kevin Smith films, which were terrific films despite having Affleck in them. And who even knows where to start with J.Lo. If anyone in Hollywood has any heart, or even just an incling into what is holy in the world of film, this movie cannot happen. But in true Hollywood fashion where the almighty dollar rules all, this might actually sound like a good idea to some suit who never even saw the original. But don’t fret I’m sure that they will be willing to change the ending in Planet of the Apes fashion to something along the lines of Affleck getting the girl in the end and being responsible for winning the war. Dear god help us. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293/60 "2003-04-15T04:01:01Z")
> [@](#): > > The movie will vanish quickly and the original will always be there. No need to get worked up. \*\* I disagree. It’ll ruin the _original_ movie for people who’ve never seen it. I’ve talked to people who’ve said that they hated the movie _Psycho_, the first words out of my mouth are always, “Did you see the color or black and white version?” Without fail, they say, “Color. I didn’t know there was a black and white version.” They then go on to state that they don’t see how the black and white version of the film can be any better. Not to mention, there’s going to be some halfwits out there who think that this version is _better_ than the original! :eek: :eek: :eek: Doubt my word? Then do a search for threads about the remake of _Planet of the Apes_. You’ll see several _Dopers_ (all of whom should know better) who find the remake better than the original. Why? I don’t know. The brief spoofe of _PotA_ in _ **Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back** _ was _infinitely_ better than the crap that Tim Burton foisted upon us. Yet, people like it. Remakes aren’t all bad, however, _The Maltese Falcon_ with Bogart was a remake, and is the finest version of the film to ever grace the screen. It’s just that if you’re going to attempt to do a remake of a film, you’d _damn_ well be more talented than the folks who did it the last time. There’s no way that Jello, er, J. Lo., is more talented than _anyone_ involved with the original picture (this includes the extras). Of course, some good could come of this. This film could be the absolute final nail in Jello’s career’s coffin. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-lookin-at-you-jlo-casablanca-remake/168293.md?page=4)