# Here's some free advice: Don't get cancer. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765 "2013-09-27T00:33:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/21 "2013-09-28T18:01:05Z")
Great pictures, **garygnu**. I love the Disneyland one. All the best for your recovery. Will you have to take some med or something for the partially missing salivary gland? ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/22 "2013-09-28T18:06:24Z")
Damn I’m sorry. That sucks. I will do my best to heed your advice. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/23 "2013-09-28T19:18:46Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > Damn I’m sorry. That sucks. I will do my best to heed your advice. Just my own Public Service Announcement. 😃 My manager at work smokes, and whenever somebody’s looking for her and she’s outside, I tell them she’s busy giving herself cancer. She’s lost multiple relatives to breast cancer already, it just shows how addictive niccotine is. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2013, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/24 "2013-09-28T21:06:19Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Just my own Public Service Announcement. 😃 > My manager at work smokes, and whenever somebody’s looking for her and she’s outside, I tell them she’s busy giving herself cancer. She’s lost multiple relatives to breast cancer already, it just shows how addictive niccotine is. Then I’m a step ahead in the fight, because after smoking for 22 years I quit about five years ago! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/25 "2013-09-29T02:08:00Z")
You let them take pictures of you fresh out of surgery?!? If I had seen a camera in anyone’s hands, I would have found the strength to slap it out of their hands! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/26 "2013-09-29T02:13:08Z")
Wait, I thought interferon was an antiviral drug, not a chemo agent. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/27 "2013-09-29T03:05:42Z")
Well, shit. Here’s hoping for a full recovery for you. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/28 "2013-09-29T03:49:15Z")
Hang in there, dude! Good-lookin’ divot you got there. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/29 "2013-09-29T04:31:05Z")
I had to have half of my parotid (a Superficial Parotidectomy) removed also, due to a Warthins tumor, which was, thankfully, benign. They moved a muscle from somewhere in my neck to fill in the hole and in order to prevent the salivary nerves from hooking up with the sweat glands so I wouldn’t sweat all over my cheek when I ate. It worked for that. Several years later, however, my ear is still numb. Good luck in your recovery, garygnu. May all be well with you henceforth. I remember that bandage. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/30 "2013-09-29T06:27:03Z")
K, following your advice so far. But I might change my mind someday. But anyway, get well and be well, kiddo. Doctor’s orders. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/31 "2013-09-29T09:51:33Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Heh. I had a suction drain in my abdomen after a complicated cholecystectomy. The surgeon yanked it out when it was due for removal and I passed out. He gave me an injection of a narcotic _after_ I regained consciousness. > > I asked why the injection wasn’t given first. He told me about half of his patients don’t need it. Probably true (who am I to judge?), but a clasic surgeons error. You have to have a pretty high opinion of your own skills to think you can help people by cutting them up with a knife, and the job self-selects for people who think they are better than they really are. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/32 "2013-09-29T13:46:12Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You let them take pictures of you fresh out of surgery?!? If I had seen a camera in anyone’s hands, I would have found the strength to slap it out of their hands! Dude looks better right after surgery than I do on an average day at work. Not fair. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/33 "2013-09-29T18:31:33Z")
Glad the surgery went well, brother. Feel better. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/34 "2013-09-30T01:58:05Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Wait, I thought interferon was an antiviral drug, not a chemo agent. Its use against cancer is melanoma-specific. The idea is that that hyperactive immune system attacks stray melanoma cells. The numbers aren’t great, but it’s the best they have at the moment. (There are a [couple new drugs](http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/06/05/melanoma.drugs/index.html) coming out that could help if it progresses.) ---
**Author:** ![\_Olive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/4af34b/32.png) [@\_Olive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Olive)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/35 "2013-09-30T03:14:41Z")
Get well soon. You are a handsome man even with that hole in your neck. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/36 "2013-09-30T20:23:32Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Oh, yeah, another thing: catheters suck. One of my major goals in life is to stay out of hospitals until they come up with something other than catheters. I’m not even entirely sure how they work and I don’t want to know. I just know where they go, and NOOOO… ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/37 "2013-09-30T21:17:49Z")
> [@control-z](#): > > One of my major goals in life is to stay out of hospitals until they come up with something other than catheters. I’m not even entirely sure how they work and I don’t want to know. I just know where they go, and NOOOO… Get this: the first nurse who tried it on me _did it wrong_ :eek: :eek: So all the pain and no results. Sorry, nurses, “uncomfortable not painful” is an inaccurate way to desribe it. So a little while later a more experienced nurse did it correctly. At least it worked then. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/38 "2013-10-01T02:49:35Z")
It does look like the [leadership in Washington](http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/09/boehner-advises-americans-to-delay-getting-cancer-for-a-year.html#entry-more) is listening. > [@](#): > > WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a special Sunday radio address, House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) delivered a health tip to the American people, advising them to delay getting cancer for a year. > > “We’re involved in a high-stakes fight over our freedom from centralized government control of our lives,” said Mr. Boehner, speaking on behalf of his House colleagues. “You can do your part by delaying getting cancer.” > > He added that heart disease, emphysema, and diabetes were among a laundry list of conditions that would be “patriotic to avoid for a year.” And I’m really sorry to hear of the struggles. My father had leukemia and it was not a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/39 "2013-10-01T15:16:04Z")
That’s not the Onion? Damn that guy is an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765/40 "2013-10-01T15:50:20Z")
I normally sit on the fence in these discussions of highly controversial issues, but I’m gonna take a chance here and agree with the OP. I can think of hardly any circumstances when getting cancer is good. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heres-some-free-advice-dont-get-cancer/669765.md?page=3)