# He's got WHAT speed, now? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 3, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220 "2009-11-03T22:58:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/61 "2009-11-05T16:07:00Z")
To really confuse things, “Run like a white guy to the Home Depot.” ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2009, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/62 "2009-11-05T16:40:13Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > You’re only saying that because I’m Hispanic, aren’t you? [Um . . .](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTsW75KJXO4) ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/63 "2009-11-06T02:03:28Z")
“Runs like a fat dude when they put out the new tray of cherry cobbler at Golden Corral.” In a related stereotypical sports racism note, did you ever notice that “scrappy” baseball players are always white guys who bat .230? If you’re black or hispanic and do that, they call you “in the minor leagues.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/64 "2009-11-06T04:34:32Z")
That’s alright. “Blue collar” football players are always white. Apparently, black people all have cushy office jobs or something. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/65 "2009-11-06T12:13:28Z")
> [@Milossarian](#): > > “Runs like a fat dude when they put out the new tray of cherry cobbler at Golden Corral.” > > In a related stereotypical sports racism note, did you ever notice that “scrappy” baseball players are always white guys who bat .230? > > If you’re black or hispanic and do that, they call you “in the minor leagues.” My husband has a theory that every time you hear someone referred to as a “fan favorite” in football, it’s always a slow white skill position player. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/66 "2009-11-06T14:21:36Z")
_cough_ Mike Alstott _cough_ Not that he wasn’t any good, but he was slow and white and his jersey outsold all other Bucccaneer jerseys combined. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/67 "2009-11-06T14:52:04Z")
Mike Alstott is one of his examples, actually. The other big one is Ed McCaffrey. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2009, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/68 "2009-11-06T15:34:10Z")
When I hear a guy has "really good speed’, I wonder what he charges for it. Is it greenies? Does he sell by the hundred? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/69 "2009-11-08T00:32:22Z")
> [@G0sp3l](#): > > Not to mention, it’s oxymoronic. I’ve never seen anyone actually get away from the cops. Chris Johnson’s only gotten away [four times](http://nfl.fanhouse.com/players/chris-johnson/8801). ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2009, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220/70 "2009-11-09T07:46:44Z")
It’s not racist. It’s **stupid and lame**. (Yes, I know deriding something just for being stupid and lame isn’t too popular right now, but screw it, polls ain’t the boss of me.) “Getting away from the cops speed?” How does this guy call a long field goal? “Whoa, that was like an small, leather oblong boulder shot from a catapult into a hypothetical castle wall section as delineated by the goalposts, except for the top part!” Also, eight syllables. Way too many\*. I don’t ever see this catching on with the John “Boom!” Madden crowd. I think every commentator should work out his material before the season even begins and have his notes on hand at all times. Before even thinking of freestyling, he should do a prerecorded game in a quiet studio with just a few trusted buddies watching. Only after he’s shown that he can make it through without once sounding like a retarded third grader should he be allowed to dispense with the notes. Walk before you try to run, dammit! (\*On a related note, shouldn’t we have something better than “African American” by now? How about “Fro”? Fro is easy to remember. Fro would get the point across. What’s wrong with Fro?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-got-what-speed-now/516220.md?page=3)